Around 3:30am this morning I was woken up by.... no, not Nathan. Nathan was peacefully sleeping in his co-sleeper all swaddled up and comfy cozy. No, I was woken up by Jeff who was prowling around the windows and peering out into the night. Here's the conversation as I recall:
Jeff: Effing raccoons. Those bastards are in the garbage, I can see them!
Me: Huh?
Jeff: Raccoons are in the garbage, little bastards woke me up.
Me: What?
Here's where Jeff goes downstairs and leaves me to wonder if the whole thing is a figment of my imagination. Nope, I hear the front door open and Jeff is outside turning on his car alarm which is parked next to our trash can. I shake myself awake, peer in at the oblivious Nathan and head downstairs. Together, Jeff and I walk outside and look to see if the raccoons have been scared off. We see nothing. The garbage has obviously been tampered with, the lid is off, and the bag has been ripped open. But no raccoon. Apparently it didn't enjoy having its little midnight snack interrupted. I was kind of bummed not to SEE the raccoon because I personally think they are adorable, but since Jeff was still thinking of ways to kill them, it was not in my best interest to mention how cute they are.
I also didn't mention that my sister and I used to feed the family of raccoons near our house. We'd leave them peanut butter and bread (on napkins so it wouldn't get dirty) and one night we tossed hot dogs out the window to them. My father had no idea that Karen and I were apparently hosting an all you can eat for free buffet for the raccoons of the neighborhood and did everything he could to discourage them. Alas his efforts were no match for our passion for baby raccoons! We fed them every chance we got!
I won't be doing that now because I suspect Jeff would NOT be happy. But I have thought about it. Meanwhile I've got to head outside and pick up all the garbage that was thrown everywhere, see, raccoons enjoy leftover Chinese food as much as I do!
4 comments:
OMG, Katharine, you're not serious! Raccoons carry diseases and all kinds of things, not to mention they could possibly be RABID!!!
Thank you Mary. Must kill them somehow that they don't die in my yard because I hate dead things. Great...now PETA is going to be all over me. I'm not really going to kill them and I would want to a whole lot less if PETA would come clean up my trash when they get into it. The trash is a big barrell...covered. They take the cover off and throw it to the ground (which is apparently what woke me from a sound sleep) and they hang off the rock wall and chew at it.
Leftover Chinese food! WHAT leftover Chinese food?
I bet you're still hiding your broccoli, too.
Jeff -- I've heard that pouring ammonia over the top of the garbage (before putting the lid on) deters them. Might be worth a shot; a bottle of ammonia is pretty cheap.
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