Confusion over Maternity Underwear

So maternity underwear - I'm starting to look for some and I am a little confused by two things.

1. It's all ugly. This is not pretty, lacy underwear. This is SERVICEABLE underewear. This is supportive, orthopedic underwear. It's underwear that means BUSINESS. I'd post pictures here but frankly am so disturbed by it that I can't bring myself to scar you all with graphic details. Trust me when I say that this underwear does NOT say "See how pretty and feminine I am"... oh no. This underwear says "Get the HELL away from me, I'm pregnant and need all the support I can get".

2. Maternity thongs. You'd think this would be contrary to what I just wrote above, but remember, this is MATERNITY thong underwear. It managed to take the brief material of a thong and make it as unsexy as possible. Granted. I didn't wear thongs before because I'm not a fan of walking around with a wedgie all day long, but still. Maternity thongs are an interested paradox of sexy and unsexy in one package.

I'm not even going to talk about the postpartum underwear they advertise because I'm already going to have nightmares tonight. Suffice to say, it's not something that will say "Come hither" Jeff.