Dear Baby,
It's been 14 weeks and I feel I must tell you I'm having a problem with our relationship. It seems to me that all the compromise and self sacrifice has been on *my* part. Now, I understand that you're no bigger than a lemon right now, but since we've been together 24 hours a day for the past 14 weeks, I would imagine you could start to make some concessions of your own.
For example. I had to leave work at noon today to come home and lie on the sofa like a lump. I don't think I need to tell you how bad my cold is, runny nose. stuffed up sinuses, sore throat, and the inability to sleep without getting up to either blow my nose or to pee. This, baby, is not acceptable. See, previously I would dose myself up with whatever over the counter medicine I could find (Dayquil, Tylenol Flu and Sinus, Theraflu) it didn't really matter. I'd take it all, and take it repeatedly until I had numbed my body into compliance and completely masked all the symptoms that were making me miserable. But now, now I cannot do that because there is concern about you. So no medicine. No cherry flavored cough syrup or blue liquid Nyquil to get me through this misery, it's just me and my tissues and my achy head. Oh, and do I need to add that my poor nose is almost bright red from all the tissues I've been using???
I can't live like this baby. I don't think I need to remind you that I *need* my job and going home sick is not good in showing just what a fabulous employee I am and how they need to keep around forever. Baby, my paycheck is what helps keep a roof over my head and I think having a place to sleep is fairly important in life. You might want to think about that as you're floating around in my belly. Because I hate to bring it up, but currently you are not contributing financially at all to this situation and well, nobody likes a freeloader baby!
I am hoping that you will think about what I've said today and that tomorrow we can start fresh. Oh, and perhaps let me get some sleep tonight baby? See, if I can't sleep - your father can't sleep.. and if your father goes one more night without rest I think he may leave us. And baby, not to be cold, we need his paycheck.
Now I hope I wasn't too hard on you baby, seeing as how you are still so new and tiny, but I thought it would be good to get this all out in the open. You know, clear the air! It's the sign of a healthy relationship when you can talk about these issues!
Love you baby!
Love, your exhausted, sick, mucousy and sore mother
6 comments:
Get 'em young, train 'em up right, that's what I always say.
Of course, I have also used that reference with regards to men. LOL!
Hope you feel better soon. Happy New Year!
Now come on...leave the poor kid alone. He/she can't help it. You're the one that didn't keep her legs crossed. (o: I have a horrible cold myself at the moment. My doctor allows me to take a little Benedryl if I need to, so, in order to keep my nose from running like a faucet, I take a half of a Benedryl. Makes me sleepy, but at least I can breathe.
Oh, and if you think you're not getting any sleep now...wait til you get to your 8th and 9th month. You'll be getting the crap kicked out of you half the night. Just a little training for when they are born and can keep you up all night by being very noisy.
Ouch...no sympathy from Dawn. The "poor kid" is all happy in his/her little bubble of a world and could care less what we say out here. If he/she (I can't wait until I know so I can stop all that he/she crap) has any sort of sense of humor from it's parents, it will know not to take life too seriously, and will at some point join in on such dialogues right along with us. Although I'm sure we'll be wrapped around his/her little finger, his/her parents are going to teach them about the real world. And I mean all that in a good way. :-) PS. It's snowing out and apparently that has caused us to add a "leap" second to tonights New Year's countdown. I don't know. Something new to teach the baby as soon as I figure it out!!
PSS. Would everyone please stop giving Katharine all of the heads up on all the horrible, bad, and annoying things yet to come?! Seriously, everyone makes having a baby sound horrible and one would hope that it has a bright side or why would people do it? Certainly to keep our population going isn't a good enough reason. There...I said it, and I'm certainly not referring to anyone in particular...this just gave me an opening to say it on a blog that's not mine (which I'll do on January 1st in my What's Coming up in the New Year post). Again...Happy New Year.
Some people just need to be dope-slapped!
Once again, the rule of "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!" applies here.
Happy New Year to you both!
Well, when baby is driving you nuts when s/he is out in the real wide world, feel free to give a call to weekend dad. ;)
Did Jeff tell you that he subcontracted out all the "showing your kid how to play sports" stuff to me? I think s/he will have a better throwing arm for it.
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