Normal

I went to lunch today with some girlfriends and had a really great time. While at this lunch I was reminded that what we sometimes consider not "normal", is indeed, very normal.

For example: I am QUEEN of worrying and obsessing about things that I have no control over. If there's an issue that I cannot solve/work around/change, well BRING IT ON because I will spend HOURS, no DAYS obsessing about that very thing.

I also tend to do something very unproductive, and that's if there happens to be nothing to obsess about, my mind will wander down memory lane. And my memory lane RARELY dwells on the happy memories. Oh no, it will instead happily trot out every humiliating, uncomfortable or NOT GOOD memory in the databank that is my brain and replay it OVER AND OVER AGAIN. Why in the WORLD is this? I recently read on MSNBC that there was a study that said that this particular habit is not something that is solely something I do to torture myself. Apparently it's something a LOT OF PEOPLE DO. And I have to say, I am very glad that I am not alone in this - though it would be nice to find a way to oh, I don't know, STOP IT!!!

While talking with my friends I found that I am not the only person fond of obsessing about things that are not controllable. They all did this. So something that I consider very abnormal, is indeed very normal within my group of friends. Did this make me feel better? Oh yes! Though once again, I would very much like a way to stop this particular habit. I went to a therapist YEARS ago and had maybe two sessions with him (I didn't really mesh with him so didn't go back after the second visit), and he suggested that I visualize a stop sign when I found myself obsessing. I did try this and it was a spectacular failure. Visualizing a stop sign did bo shit diddly on stopping my mind from replaying horrible scenarios.

What HAS worked?? That would be the lovely state of exhaustion that I am always in lately since my poor baby has apparently gotten sick AGAIN. AGAIN!! Need I remind everyone that if Nathan can't sleep, well ain't NOBODY SLEEPING!! So sleep deprivation means that I fall into an exhausted slumber as soon as my head hits the pillow most nights!

So feel free to share if you like, I'll bet you will all be surprised that the weird thing you do that you're convinced nobody else does is actually very common!!!