Third Rant about the Twilight Series

So "New Moon" is coming out, the second book in the Twilight series. And because I have no life I am going to rant some more about not only how awful these books are, how Bella is the world's worst role model for young girls, and also how much I loathe that she made vampires SPARKLE. But here's a quick point I'd like to make. In "New Moon" Edward the Sparkly Vampire dumps Bella the Doormat because he and his family ALMOST KILL HER at her birthday party. See, she cut herself and blood around vampires tends to be a big no, no. Consumed by guilt. Edward dumps Bella and runs off to parts unknown.




Bella is SOOOO upset she slips into a coma-like state. Here's where you lose me. In my life I have certainly had my share of heart ache. And I remember when my very first boyfriend MOVED IN WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND NEGLECTED TO INFORM ME OF THIS (Hi Darren wherever you are!!) and that sucked. I mean, that sucked A LOT. I was 16 at the time (Bella's age) and I was crazy about that guy. So I can kind of relate to how Bella feels (kind of, Darren, to the best of my knowledge, did not sparkle in daylight or suck blood, but I digress...). But here's the other thing. I was upset, I cried. And I did the following:
1. Cried


2. Ate lots of chocolate


3. Cried some more


4. Cried to my friends


5. Ate more chocolate


6. Went out with him after work one day where we played basketball and tried to be "friends". I instead flirted like a maniac with him and just as he conceded we might possibly go out again, left him. (Hey, revenge can be sweet).



Oh, and then I GOT OVER IT and GOT ANOTHER BOYFRIEND. And here's where Bella loses me, because she has a guy named Jacob panting after her (no pun intended since he's a WEREWOLF), and Jacob happens to look like this:

Uhhh.... the guy is SMOKING HOT. Where's the problem Bella?? Edward is gone... he dumped you after his family tried to kill you and you spend the entire book hanging out with sweet, sensitive, caring and insanely attractive Jacob (once again, see above) and all you can do is moan about Edward. Sorry girlie, this is sooo not realistic. ANY teenage girl would take a look at above and EVENTUALLY GET OVER THE GUY WHO DUMPED HER AND TAKE THIS NEW ONE FOR A SPIN!!! It's called hormones, and if I recall, teenagers are filled with them. Maybe not after a week, or a month, but it would happen.

Now I'm curious, does anyone disagree with me?? If your teenaged boy/girlfriend dumped you and an insanely good looking boy/girl started hanging out with you, confessed they loved you and all that, would you turn that down??

Insanely Expensive Taste

Holy crap do I want this bag from Nordstrom bad... so bad...

It's a Rebecca Minkoff "Stud Devote" tote, and the full link is here:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3023843/0~2377475~6022513~6022514~6024841?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6024841&P=1

And yes people, while I have no idea who Rebecca Minkoff is, but apparently this bag includes spun gold because it's retailing for $695. See, and this is why I have credit card debt because apparently I have insanely expensive taste. I can't go for the $100 bag.. or even the $200 bag.. NOOOOO.. I fall in love with a bag that's just a breath shy of $700. Insanity. Reminds me of the time Jeff and I went ring shopping and I asked to see a certain ring. I prefaced it by saying "I'm pretty sure we can't afford it, but I'd love to see this one ring". It was a cocktail style ring with a big ol' yellow diamond surrounded by pave diamonds. The saleslady told me I had "excellent taste" and took the ring out. It was $35,000. Yup.. I've got great taste alright, it's a shame I've got a Payless budget!!! ;-)

Funny Experience Interviewing

Over the course of my life I cannot BEGIN to tell you how many interviews I've been on. I've been on interviews where I haven't even exactly known what the position IS (thanks to employment agencies who would sometimes calls and tell me to get over to a particular company THAT DAY for a job that I didn't know anything about). Regardless, I always went on the interview because I really believe the more you interview, the better you get at it. And since I'm not particularly great at "selling myself", I need practice to get the hang of things. Anyway, a friend of mine reminded me of this one funny story of an interview I went on years ago, and I had actually forgotten about it until she reminded me.

I went on an interview for an administrative position with a high end company that chartered jets for wealthy, wealthy people. I didn't QUITE understand the role, but I went regardless. It was a late night interview, 6pmish and it was winter. So it was dark and COLD out, with the wind in particular just whipping through you as you walked. I went in, had my interview, and it seemed to go fairly well (though I am a bad judge of this part. I've been on interviews where I think I've landed job and never heard from them again, and I've been on interviews that I thought I've tanked and been offered the position). I said goodbye and got my jacket and left. Now remember, I went in after hours for this interview, so the woman and her assistant locked the door after I left.

I bundle up, grab my items and leave. I start walking towards the T to get home and casually put my hand in my pocket. No T pass. I put my hand in my other pocket. No keys. I stop walking and do a thorough search.. no pass.. no keys.. and suddenly I realize this is NOT MY JACKET. I have walked away with someone else's jacket. I have to turn around and head back to the office where I am forced to bang on the door until the interviewer comes out to see who the crazy person is outside. I have to explain that I took the wrong jacket.. and of course it is the INTERVIEWERS' JACKET. Of course it is. It couldn't be someone else's, it HAS to be the interviewer's. I try to laugh it off, I get the correct jacket and head home. Funny enough, I never got another call from them.

Now, in my defense both the jackets were the same brand and style, oh and black. They really were identical jackets, though her jacket was not quite as beat up as mine was. At the time I was mortified, but years later I had completely forgotten this humiliation. Anyone else have any funny interview stories they'd like to share?

Nightmares

I think I am behind on being scared to death by this, but if not, I thought I would scar the rest of you with this:




Yes, it's the BREAST FEEDING DOLL! Give the video a few minutes, but basically your little girl puts on a halter top and holds her baby doll to the flower where your baby doll makes a SUCKING noise. I do have to say that I am jealous of how easily this baby doll burps because God only knows I walk around the house with Nathan over one shoulder as I try to burp him. Now, I understand that breastfeeding is natural, and it's nothing to be ashamed about, but this really kind of creeps me out. Am I just super prudish here or is anyone else slightly disturbed by this breast feeding baby doll?

Crazy, Neurotic Dog

Monty is on Valium.

Seriously, our dog has a PRESCRIPTION for VALIUM! Apparently sleeping 20 hours a day is very stressful and Monty just can't handle it. I think I've written before that Monty has had seizures, well two weeks ago I woke up to an EXTREME close-up of Monty panting and drooling. His face was like 2 inches from mine, and he proceeded to walk from me, to the bottom of the bed and back again for like an HOUR. All the time panting and drooling. We thought initially he was having another seizure so we hustled him downstairs (last time he had a seizure he practically fell down the stairs and we didn't want him to repeat that scary performance). But this episode was different in the sense that he had coordination still, recognized his name, and wasn't doing circles. We held off taking him to the Animal Er and instead made an appointment with his vet.

Our vet's verdict?? It's stress related behavior and she blames it on barometric pressure, which apparently is quite high this time of year and she's seeing these symptoms more and more. Honestly, I don't get it. I don't understand how barometric pressure has anything to do with Monty's stress level, but I didn't argue. It of course doesn't help that we had the fireworks incident AND a new baby who can scream his little lungs out at any time of day. I know personally I have moments of stress, so I guess it makes sense Monty would feel it too. But at the same time, REALLY?? I mean.. he's a DOG.. and while I love him to death his life is not exactly stressful. He's got NO responsibilities, and his every need is catered to. He has toys and blankets and his own custom made clothing, he gets vet care and groomed... I just do not get it. Anyway, I did figure out that taking him for a nice long nightly walk helps his stress level (we've been so tired that we've been sadly lax in the taking for a walk department), and we've also blocked the upstairs. Mainly because I get so little sleep that being woken up by a drooling and panting dog with peanut butter breath is not high on my list of "must haves".

So for now he seems to have settled down again and we haven't seen that stress behavior, which is a good thing because we now have drool spots on our sofa and I have no clue as to how to get them out!

WHINE

I have my 6 week check up tomorrow at my doctor's, and I am dreading one specific part.

The scale. (insert dramatic music)

Now I know, its incredibly boring to read a blog whining about fat, but I really want to whine! I mean... my BELLY... GAH! I know it's not helping that my ice cream addiction that I fine tuned so wonderfully during third trimester is kicking my ass in the sense that I am NOT LOSING ANY WEIGHT. And of course I can't work out because everytime I go to put in one of my DVD's my baby screams his little head off. It's like he KNOWS his mommy is attempting some "me time" and he is NOT HAVING IT. He is NOT HAVING IT AT ALL!

I guess the only thing I can really do is make sure Jeff continues to gain weight right along with me, fair is fair, right???

Thoughts

When I was at the hospital after giving birth to Nathan, they made me watch something called "The Baby Channel" on television. It was a free station that had all sorts of programs that taught you things like how to diaper your baby, what would happen with the umbilical cord and how to care for it, all sorts of practical advice. Since I hadn't cared for an infant in YEARS, I pretty much kept the tv turned to this station all the time. However, there were two programs that were mandatory for me to watch. One was about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and the other was about shaken baby syndrome. Now let me just inform everyone that after you give birth you are a tad.. well.. emotional. You're also exhausted. Dead exhausted. I actually fell asleep during one visit from Jeff's family, just closed my eyes and I was out cold. Watching these two programs had me in tears... I'd hold Nathan and tell him how I would never, ever let anything like that happen to him, and than I'd cry. Not exactly uplifting television, but they definitely do the trick if the goal is to scare a new mother to death. I blame the SIDS show for why I check to make sure Nathan is still breathing multiple times during the day and night.

Anyway, I had a point here. Last night was AWFUL. Nathan was soooo gassy and for some reason our baby has a really difficult time burping. So he's gassy and it's uncomfortable for him so he SCREAMS his little head off, and while you're trying to burp he screams some more because nothing happens. You should hear us praise him when he DOES burp - the kid is going to be in school burping up a storm and thinking it's a good thing! Now even when Nathan is screaming and red faced and I'm so tired I fell going up the stairs after using the bathroom.. I can't imagine reaching the point where I might take that frustration out on him. However all bets are off when it comes to taking that frustration out on Jeff. I think I'm going to call it "Bitch At Your Husband" syndrome or "BAYHS" for short. Because people, there is NOTHING like a screaming baby at 3am that makes you want to snap at your significant other. Factor in a little sleep deprivation and the fact that one of you is going to have to go to work in 3 hours and well... It ain't pretty people. And God only knows we can find SOMETHING to pick at each other about at 3am. It can be anything from how quickly the other person is heating up a bottle to a debate on if Nathan is crying for more food or if he indeed, needs to be burped again. It's always over in the morning, the warm light of day knocking some sense into us but it still happens. So new parents beware of this syndrome, and maybe the Baby Channel will start doing a program about how to prevent this particular symptom of parenthood!