Eating Crow

Nathan is a bear in restaurants. I think I've referenced this before, but let me explain this fully. Previously, Nathan was a JOY in restaurants. We would pack a few toys, some board books, and some snacks and Nathan was fine. He would eat a few bites of whatever we were eating, he would shake his rattle, and he would flip through "Pat the Bunny". People would tell us how WONDERFUL he was in restaurants. That he was a PLEASURE. And Jeff and I would just grin and grin in response. OF COURSE he was wonderful in restaurants. He was a perfect baby. Oh, and Jeff and I were a SUPERIOR parents. Nathan was fabulous and well behaved in restaurants BECAUSE WE WERE SHINING EXAMPLES OF PARENTING! There were no tantrums, no screaming, no throwing of toys. We accepted all the praise without hesitation. It just seemed so obvious that this was all due to our high skills in parenting.

Now. Nathan is NOT GOOD in restaurants. He whines. He throws toys, sippy cups, snacks, books and whatever else he can get his hands on to the floor. Repeatedly. If for some reason he is not content with throwing toys to the ground he will throw himself backwards and cry. He also tries to climb out of his highchair. If one of us picks him up, he will try to climb us. Let me tell you how lovely it is when he uses the extra, ahem, pudge in my belly as a FOOTHOLD to climb up my shoulders. It's great!! So glad that my fat has a PURPOSE! Sometimes, just for fun and to shake things up a bit, he will let out an ear-splitting screech. You know, in case there is someone at another table perhaps contemplating the joy of parenthood at some future date. Nathan is just doing his part in making sure EVERYONE is scrambling for their birth control.

Apparently Jeff and I are not the shining paragon examples of parenthood that we had thought. Oh, and think of all the money we're going to save because we don't dare take him to a restaurant until he's 18 years old!