I was chatting with an old friend via Facebook and we were discussing how much work relationships are and blah, blah and I mentioned I had once had a fight about Tic Tacs.
I'll let that soak in for a minute for everyone.
Tic Tacs. You know, the 1 1/2 calorie refreshing mint.....
I had a FIGHT about tic tacs. In case you aren't fully able to grasp this, because let's face it - it's RIDICULOUS, I'll break it down for you.
First of all, this was not Jeff, this was a previous boyfriend and we had a, well.... a DRAMA-FILLED relationship to put it nicely. I'll call him.. ohhh.... Boyfriend G. Anyway, Boyfriend G and I were on a plane and we were going somewhere... Florida, Texas.. I don't even remember anymore just WHERE we were going, and it doesn't matter. We were on the plane and Boyfriend G was sitting at the window seat, I was next to him, and to my right was some random girl. We were all pretty much minding our own business and I was probably doing something mindless like flipping through a Cosmo magazine when I decided I needed a little something. I reached into my purse and shook some tic tacs into the palm of my hand (white tic tacs in case you need a visual). I tapped Boyfriend G on the shoulder and asked if he wanted one. He did, and accepted the mint. On a whim, I turned to the stranger on my right and asked if she would like a tic tac. I held out my open hand. She accepted and took a tic tac. I then ate the rest of the tic tacs and was just getting ready to put them back in my bag when...
Boyfriend G: You don't offer people tic tacs like that.
Me: What?
Boyfriend G: It's rude to offer people a tic tac that's in your hand. You should shake it from the container into THEIR hand.
Me: Are you fucking kidding me? Are we talking about a tic tac?
Boyfriend G: It's just rude. You should be more polite (or SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES because people I was not thinking clearly at the point my whole brain was screaming WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, and here's where the fight starts).
Boyfriend G and I bicker back and forth for a few minutes (and looking back I'm sure that poor girl was thinking we were both candidates for a mental hospital and wishing she DECLINED the mint), and I finally end the conversation with..
Me: If she didn't WANT the tic tac, she could have said no. If the palm of my hand was so disgustingly offensive she did not have to take it, it's not like I FORCED her to accept the candy.
Score: Me
Sadly that was not the last stupid fight we would have, but it stands out as THE most ridiculous one. I mean a TIC TAC! The proper way to dispense a mint to a stranger. Who knew there was a wrong way or a right way?? And it kind of goes to show that sometimes in relationships it's not the BIG issues that matter, it's all those little, stupid, inane, nobody else cares about issues that make you want to go completely ape shit crazy.
So what's the most ridiculous fight YOU'VE ever had??? Feel like sharing??
1 comment:
I had a fight with an ex that was lamer - we were at this cafe and he asked me to get something for him while he got a seat. Mind you, he would not tell me what he wanted, so i resisted. But he said = no no get me something. I got him what i remembered to be his favorite, some coffee cake. He also previously mentioned he hated the coffee there, so i did not get him some. Big big mistake. He freaked. He wanted something with egg in it, how was he supposed to eat the coffee cake without something to wash it down..... I was in shock... well if you wanted something specific, you should have told me, and I did not think you liked the coffee so i thought i was thinking of you... it was this huge blow out in the cafe. He did what he should have done, he went up, looked at the menu, and ordered what he wanted.... but he was angry the rest of the day... so so angry.... How lame.... After this, i refuse to order for people when they say "just get me whatever". If they insist, i make them swear a qualifier - that no, they will not get angry if i in fact return with something they don't like, and if they do, i tell them I won't care.... I did this to my boss last week :)
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