Change in Magazines I Read

Before I start this topic I want to say one thing:
Dad, if you are reading - you are to stop now. Understand? This post will be a topic that will NOT please you and might possibly send you to the Emergency Room clutching your chest. Okay?? I'll write about another topic later in the week.


Now that my father is gone, I'm going to talk about the change in my reading material. I USED to read Cosmo, Glamour, Allure.... all the standard beauty magazines.. and I started reading Cosmo when I was like 14 years old. I stopped reading Cosmo when I was like 25 after figuring out I had ready every article ever written by them and that they recycled stories month after month. I still get Glamour magazine (I think I renewed it for the next 10 years for some odd reason), but I also now get Parenting magazing, Baby Magazine and a whole bunch of other more family oriented magazines like Good Housekeeping. Which by the way.. I NEVER used to read Good Housekeeping but I find it interesting now so I have no idea when that change happened, but it did.

Today. I got my new issues of Glamour in the mail. Now lately I just flip through it, skim an article, look at pictures and then bring it in to the dental office I work at and leave it. This time my eyes ran across an article entitled "12 Things Guys Wish You Knew In Bed". Fairly standard article about sex, and I took a minute to skim over the suggestions. I won't list all twelve of them, but here are the two that kind of struck me the most:

5. It's not your job to deal with every erection he gets, but it would be nice if you were delighted by each one.

DELIGHTED??? I am to be DELIGHTED by erections?? I don't think Glamour means "delighted". I think "delighted" and I think of clapping my hands in glee, or jumping up and down in excitement, or calling up friends and telling them how DELIGHTED I am by something that happened that day. However, I do NOT think of an erection as something to be delighted by.... and I am certainly not DELIGHTED by each one. Mainly because I have OTHER THINGS IN MY LIFE TO KEEP TRACK OF, and stopping what I am doing throughout the day to clap my hands and squeal in delighted glee is not in the top 100 of things that I will likely be doing.

10. Tell him "I love the look on your face when you orgasm".

I am obviously an incredibly immature person because that sentence sent me into a frenzy of giggling. Giggling that cannot be stopped anytime soon, and I will probably giggle about it for the rest of the week at random points during the day when that particular sentence pops into my head for no reason at all. If I EVER told Jeff that he would think I had gone insane - that is if he could UNDERSTAND what I was saying as I would have to stop hee hawing and guffawing long enough to spit that sentence out. I think that would take the sincerity out of it, don't you?

I could go on and on but I think you all get the idea. Perhaps it's time to cancel my Glamour subscription.. I read all 12 to Jeff and he told me I needed to "stop reading such shitty magazines". I think I'll take that one to heart!