Confession and Confusion

I was listening to the radio today and I heard this one song "Baby" by Justin Bieber. At first I wasn't sure if the singer was a boy or a girl, but did figure out (Justin is usually a boys name!) that the singer was male. And he sounded young. Really young. I was curious and looked him up on youtube. Feel like taking a look at this young singer/boy who makes more money than you will ever hope to have??
You can thank me later:


Oh my, he is REALLY young. Is this kid like 10 years old or am I just incredibly ancient??? Well I started to make fun of this kid to Jeff, and to further expand my mocking to include his fan base of 10 - 16 year old girls when I suddenly realized.... Yes, he has PERFECTLY styled hair that doesn't seem to move. Yes, he is VERY YOUNG, practically a fetus. Yes, he appears to be "putting the moves" on a girl QUITE a bit older than him. And, yes, he has more money than I will ever hope to have even if I work three more jobs and give up sleep. But I can't make fun of him. And I cannot make fun of the crop of young girls who are cutting his picture out and posting it all over their walls (am I dating myself there? Do young girls do this anymore???).

Do you know WHY I cannot make fun of him?? Because THIS is what I had a crush on when I was about 14 years old:




Yes, that is Tom Keiffer, the lead singer from Cinderella singing the classic "Nobody's Fool". And you know what? I STILL have a crush on this man and I don't care that he is wearing suspenders and spandex with a long jacket and NO SHIRT. I don't care that he apparently is singing while rose petals sprinkle down from the heavens above. I don't care that he doesn't notice that his girlfriend LEFT HIM and apparently has no way to even CONTACT HIM and is forced to STALK HIM AT A CONCERT TO GET HIS ATTENTION AGAIN. And I don't care that this is a cheesy song because I watch it now and know that I still love this man and can even admit to owning a DVD filled with concert footage because Cinderella is AWESOME!

Oh, and if you ever want to find the band Cinderella on the web, it's NOT Cinderella dot com. THAT site is a porn site. Just a little FYI from me to you!

Ah ha moment!!

Oh boy am I excited to post this. Remember my comments about how "rompers" were not for adults, and trying to persuade my sister that a "romper" is not for her?? Well I was perusing the children's department of Macy's today and look what I found:

Could it be?? No..... It can't be.... but WAIT.. It's a ROMPER!!! Look, here's another one:

I started giggling in the store and thought to myself "Self, those look VERY much like the Rompers that Old Navy and my sister have been telling me are okay to wear in public". But I didn't want to get too excited so I came home and looked up the Carter's web site. Sure enough.. these little gems were found under a heading called "ROMPERS". And do I need to add that they were under the BOY'S Section??? Don't believe me? Here's the link:

http://www.carters.com/carters/baby-boy-rompers/carters-baby-boy-rompers,default,sc.html

Yeah baby.. that's "baby boy rompers". I KNEW IT!! Rompers are NOT for adult women to wear. They are for BABY BOYS!!! I am NOT an old fuddy duddy with no style.. I am RIGHT!!!! GO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love for Cheesy 80's Movies

I had COMPLETELY forgotten about this movie until Nathan was napping and I was mindlessly picking up around our teeny, tiny house...

THE CUTTING EDGE!!!




Holy crap I LOVED this movie back in the day and I just watched it all the way through (thank you ABC Family!!) and I love it still! Of course they also showed "The Cutting Edge 2" right after and I have no interest in that... but boy did I love the original!!!!

Confusion when favorite books are turned into movies

As a huge book nerd, I have quite a few favorite books/authors/characters. One of my favorite books feature Sherlock Holmes. I love him as a character, I love the way he solves crimes (in a completely different way than say, Hercule Poirot of Agatha Christie fame), and in MY mind, he looks like this:

He looks like this, the PBS version of Sherlock Holmes because that's what my parents watched when I was a child - WAY before I read the books. But I remember, and in MY mind - that's Sherlock Holmes.

So as interested as I was by the whole idea of a NEW Sherlock Holmes... eh... I don't know. Robert Downey Jr. is a great actor.. I just don't buy him as Sherlock Holmes. PLUS I read that they really played up the whole love angle (which if you've read the books you know that Mr. Holmes was NOT interested in the opposite sex at all and considered most of them sub-par in intellect and reason.). But this is a MOVIE and they need SEX, so see below:

And it LOOKS like a decent movie.. but I still don't think I can watch it. Does anyone else have this trouble when movies are made about their beloved books? Sometimes the actor portraying your favorite character is NOTHING like you imagined, and now the story is ruined. There's something about a good book that leaves you kind of.. possessive. That book, that story, that CHARACTER becomes part of you and to see that character in a different way can be disconcerting. So, to rent or not to rent?

Date Night with Jeff

Jeff and I had our first "date night" a few weeks back. And by "date night" I mean a date where we WENT OUT and did NOT have Nathan with us. We started small. We had one of Jeff's co-workers come over and put Nathan to bed. We had him all ready in his pajamas, and we gave him a bottle right as she arrived so everything would be all set. Since he goes to bed around 7pm every night, all she would have to do (hopefully) was put him in his crib with his pacifier. And turn on the white noise machine.

Jeff and I left to go see "Alice in Wonderland" in 3-D and we both really enjoyed it!

It was kind of a different spin on the classic tale, but I enjoyed the spin Tim Burton put on it, and I even thought Crispin Glover was weirdly sexy in kind of a bad boy way.

Anyway, Jeff and I pretty much saw the movie and came home around 9:30pm. Not a long night, but since this was our first venture out, we wanted to take it slow. As we were walking up the path to our house we heard crying. Not a good sign. NORMALLY once Nathan is asleep, he stays asleep for quite a few hours - which is why we felt pretty safe going to a movie and coming home. We didn't want to subject our babysitter to a hysterical infant. Entering our house we went upstairs where Christine was holding a sobbing Nathan.

Apparently he had woken up and cried a little (that usually means his pacifier has fallen out and he can't QUITE manage to get it back in his mouth the correct way - this is followed by a short meltdown until the pacifier is returned). Well Christine came upstairs and gave him his pacifier but Nathan, who had been perfectly happy with her putting him to bed, was VERY surprised that she was the one who answered his late night summons. WHERE was his Mummy and Daddy?? Mummy or, sometimes AND Daddy are the people who respond. Where in the world WERE they?? His crying apparently got more insistent and he was soon doing little hiccup unhappy cries. I took Nathan from Christine and it took me about 30 minutes to get him all settled back down. He needed time to see that YES Mummy was here, he was okay, he had his pacifier and all is right with the world. He passed out until early morning.

So the night wasn't bad. Nathan had no problem with a sitter putting him to bed.. he was just disconcerted that it was the sitter who came to him at night. Which, I can't say I blame him. I mean, all his life it has ONLY been his parents at night, so to suddenly have us NOT THERE.. well that would throw anyone for a loop.

This just means we need to try again and get him used to a sitter. I'm thinking next time we might try dinner AND a movie!! I KNOW.. we are CRAZY PEOPLE!!!! CRAZY!!!

Sunday Night Blues

I totally have the Sunday Night Blues this week. There's no rational reason I should be feeling this way, but I am ready to throw a temper tantrum because I completely want to be a stay at home mom. I dread Sundays because it means that Monday morning I head off to work when what I really want to do is stay home with Nathan. It's an interesting feeling because before Nathan I had absolutely zero desire to EVER be a stay at home mom... a trophy wife - sure! Who wouldn't love to shop, 'do lunch', and get spa treatments all day??? But right now what I really want is to be home with Nathan. Even if he's fussy and cranky and I'm dead tired by the time Jeff comes home on Fridays - I LOVE being with him. I love it. I love it when he belly laughs, I love it when he tries to gouge out my eyeball, and I love just the whole day. I fantasize about what a good housewife I would be - and let's face it. I've got the cleaning and laundry thing done COLD!! Cooking.. well. there's room for improvement there I'll admit, but in my fantasy I am some sort of weird Donna Reed-like mom who whips up tasty but simple dinners while also making sure Nathan is properly stimulated with educational games and toys. I understand that this is a fantasy and NOT reality, but I still want it. I want it REAL bad.

It's not going to happen anytime soon, and I am heading back to work tomorrow. Work where I know I am lucky to HAVE a job..and this was definitely hammered home to me when I attended a charity event earlier today. One of the ladies at my table just graduated nursing school and cannot get a job. I guess I naively thought that getting a nursing job would be easy since the demand for nurses is so high, but her point was that the demand is for EXPERIENCED nurses. Not new graduates. I had toyed with the idea of maybe going back to school for nursing and I don't mind dealing with blood, or even crisis at my work - what I DO have a problem with is the amount of responsibility that goes along with the job. At my current job if I mess up... it might be bad but nobody is going to die. Nobody is going to get sick. I can fix it. But NURSING.. well hell.. you've got somebody's LIFE in your hands. I cannot even fathom having that kind of responsibility, or level headedness. There is no way I could do that. I would be a wreck, an absolute wreck all the time.

So I'm lucky I have a job, and a job that lets me stay home on Fridays with Nathan (where I confess that despite my fantasies I am NOT making dinner despite having all day to do so), but I still feel incredibly whiny. And ungrateful.

If someone could send me a better attitude I would really appreciate it!

Relationship

I was thinking this morning about how one phrase can have so many different interpretations. When in a relationship, it's important to realize that your significant other is not always going to read your mind and know exactly what it is you are asking for OR after reading your mind have the slightest inclination to DO what it is you are asking for. Here's an example:

When I ask for something to get done, what I really want is for it to be done NOW. Immediately. So if I ask Jeff to say, change the diaper genie, what I REALLY want him to do is spring up from the sofa (JUMP UP really), race to the diaper genie, take out the bag, AND TAKE IT OUT TO THE TRASH. And I want it done in 5 minutes or less. If Jeff happens to say "Sure, I'll change the diaper genie", that's the scenario I want to see.

Now when JEFF says "Sure, I'll change the diaper genie" what he MEANS is EVENTUALLY. Eventually can mean anywhere from that every moment (rarely) to 48 hours from now. And it annoys him to no end when after I ask this question I give him about 3o minutes to actually CHANGE the diaper genie (30 minutes of which I am doing everything but hanging over his shoulder and staring at him as I wait for the spring loaded action to take place) before I do it myself. With lots of grumbling and bitching under my breath.

In HIS mind he's thinking "I TOLD her I would do that, why in the WORLD is SHE doing it"? And in MY mind I'm thinking "He's NOT CHANGING THE DIAPER GENIE - GAH"!!!

So my point is I'm trying to learn that just because Jeff and I have different time frames for getting something done, doesn't mean that I need to make him comply with MY time frame. I need to back off and let him do it. Unless of course I snap hard and wind up doing myself, which I somehow suspect he is completely and totally okay with!

Attempt to talk my sister out of buying a "Playsuit"

My sister is going to buy a "playsuit". Apparently that's the european term for the previously discussed "romper". We need to save my sister. My sister is a beautiful, intelligent, funny and wonderful person. And she's got legs for miles. And I am insanely jealous and refuse to post pictures of us standing next to each other because my fragile ego can't take it. But I digress.

Karen, lives in London right now. In London, "rompers" are everywhere. They are designed by Kate Moss. They look like this:

and this:

You can see more at: www.topshop.com and look under, I kid you not, "playsuits".

Now normally I would agree that my sister has the figure to make a lot of things work that normally shouldn't. But I still insist this is a ROMPER. I don't care WHO designs this but I am pretty sure I wore something very similar when I was six. Am I an old fuddy duddy or am I right???

Change in Magazines I Read

Before I start this topic I want to say one thing:
Dad, if you are reading - you are to stop now. Understand? This post will be a topic that will NOT please you and might possibly send you to the Emergency Room clutching your chest. Okay?? I'll write about another topic later in the week.


Now that my father is gone, I'm going to talk about the change in my reading material. I USED to read Cosmo, Glamour, Allure.... all the standard beauty magazines.. and I started reading Cosmo when I was like 14 years old. I stopped reading Cosmo when I was like 25 after figuring out I had ready every article ever written by them and that they recycled stories month after month. I still get Glamour magazine (I think I renewed it for the next 10 years for some odd reason), but I also now get Parenting magazing, Baby Magazine and a whole bunch of other more family oriented magazines like Good Housekeeping. Which by the way.. I NEVER used to read Good Housekeeping but I find it interesting now so I have no idea when that change happened, but it did.

Today. I got my new issues of Glamour in the mail. Now lately I just flip through it, skim an article, look at pictures and then bring it in to the dental office I work at and leave it. This time my eyes ran across an article entitled "12 Things Guys Wish You Knew In Bed". Fairly standard article about sex, and I took a minute to skim over the suggestions. I won't list all twelve of them, but here are the two that kind of struck me the most:

5. It's not your job to deal with every erection he gets, but it would be nice if you were delighted by each one.

DELIGHTED??? I am to be DELIGHTED by erections?? I don't think Glamour means "delighted". I think "delighted" and I think of clapping my hands in glee, or jumping up and down in excitement, or calling up friends and telling them how DELIGHTED I am by something that happened that day. However, I do NOT think of an erection as something to be delighted by.... and I am certainly not DELIGHTED by each one. Mainly because I have OTHER THINGS IN MY LIFE TO KEEP TRACK OF, and stopping what I am doing throughout the day to clap my hands and squeal in delighted glee is not in the top 100 of things that I will likely be doing.

10. Tell him "I love the look on your face when you orgasm".

I am obviously an incredibly immature person because that sentence sent me into a frenzy of giggling. Giggling that cannot be stopped anytime soon, and I will probably giggle about it for the rest of the week at random points during the day when that particular sentence pops into my head for no reason at all. If I EVER told Jeff that he would think I had gone insane - that is if he could UNDERSTAND what I was saying as I would have to stop hee hawing and guffawing long enough to spit that sentence out. I think that would take the sincerity out of it, don't you?

I could go on and on but I think you all get the idea. Perhaps it's time to cancel my Glamour subscription.. I read all 12 to Jeff and he told me I needed to "stop reading such shitty magazines". I think I'll take that one to heart!

Most Ridiculous Fight Ever

I was chatting with an old friend via Facebook and we were discussing how much work relationships are and blah, blah and I mentioned I had once had a fight about Tic Tacs.

I'll let that soak in for a minute for everyone.

Tic Tacs. You know, the 1 1/2 calorie refreshing mint.....

I had a FIGHT about tic tacs. In case you aren't fully able to grasp this, because let's face it - it's RIDICULOUS, I'll break it down for you.

First of all, this was not Jeff, this was a previous boyfriend and we had a, well.... a DRAMA-FILLED relationship to put it nicely. I'll call him.. ohhh.... Boyfriend G. Anyway, Boyfriend G and I were on a plane and we were going somewhere... Florida, Texas.. I don't even remember anymore just WHERE we were going, and it doesn't matter. We were on the plane and Boyfriend G was sitting at the window seat, I was next to him, and to my right was some random girl. We were all pretty much minding our own business and I was probably doing something mindless like flipping through a Cosmo magazine when I decided I needed a little something. I reached into my purse and shook some tic tacs into the palm of my hand (white tic tacs in case you need a visual). I tapped Boyfriend G on the shoulder and asked if he wanted one. He did, and accepted the mint. On a whim, I turned to the stranger on my right and asked if she would like a tic tac. I held out my open hand. She accepted and took a tic tac. I then ate the rest of the tic tacs and was just getting ready to put them back in my bag when...

Boyfriend G: You don't offer people tic tacs like that.

Me: What?

Boyfriend G: It's rude to offer people a tic tac that's in your hand. You should shake it from the container into THEIR hand.

Me: Are you fucking kidding me? Are we talking about a tic tac?

Boyfriend G: It's just rude. You should be more polite (or SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES because people I was not thinking clearly at the point my whole brain was screaming WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, and here's where the fight starts).

Boyfriend G and I bicker back and forth for a few minutes (and looking back I'm sure that poor girl was thinking we were both candidates for a mental hospital and wishing she DECLINED the mint), and I finally end the conversation with..

Me: If she didn't WANT the tic tac, she could have said no. If the palm of my hand was so disgustingly offensive she did not have to take it, it's not like I FORCED her to accept the candy.

Score: Me

Sadly that was not the last stupid fight we would have, but it stands out as THE most ridiculous one. I mean a TIC TAC! The proper way to dispense a mint to a stranger. Who knew there was a wrong way or a right way?? And it kind of goes to show that sometimes in relationships it's not the BIG issues that matter, it's all those little, stupid, inane, nobody else cares about issues that make you want to go completely ape shit crazy.

So what's the most ridiculous fight YOU'VE ever had??? Feel like sharing??

Need for Glasses

Surely my eyes are deceiving me. SURELY Old Navy is not marketing something called a "ROMPER". It must be misplaced. They MEANT to post this little gem under the "girls" category - NOT the WOMEN category. I mean.. a ROMPER??? Doesn't the word ROMPER inspire thoughts of things like "Romper Room"??? To play? To frolic? Pigtails and jelly sandals?? I mean.. a ROMPER?? Let me just show you the outfit and leave it up to you to decide if I am indeed so sleep deprived that I can no longer be trusted to see something RIGHT BEFORE MY VERY EYES...

Sweet Jesus it even LOOKS like a romper. And not much unlike an outfit I wore when I was oh, SIX YEARS OLD!!! I KNOW I am just delirious.. I KNOW this is an object of my own fevered imagination. I'm going to pretend I didn't see this and perhaps go to take a nap. Or drink a large glass of wine.

Clothes and Entertaining an 8 month old

I hate them. I hate them all. I wear the same things over and over and over again because despite losing 3 pounds this week I am still WAY too big for my clothes. Even my previous "fat clothes'. It's depressing... but I DID manage to channel that hatred into doing one of my exercise DVD's on Friday when I was home with Nathan for the day. He slept and I put in a 3o minute "Walk Away the Pounds" that left me a big sweatball afterwards. Kind of sad that after walking 2 miles I was a mess.. I used to be able to do the 4 mile DVD with no problems. Ah well.. I'm going to attempt to do that blasted DVD 3 times a week for the month of March, so wish me luck!

Meanwhile, as Nathan gets older I am running out of things to do with him. I spend a lot of my time on the floor with him and trying to encourage him to crawl (he's 8 months and not crawling yet), and he's kind over his exersaucer. I can put him in it for like 10 minutes before he freaks out. Right now he loves hi 99 cent ball and we can play with that for like 30 minutes straight and he just laughs and giggles and grabs his ball and tries to eat it.. he LOVES it! He's also fascinated by bubbles so I play with those as well. But otherwise I'm not really sure what else I'm supposed to do to entertain him. He will sit for a few minutes on the floor if I put some toys within his reach so I can say, run to the bathroom or something, but he really likes having me with him. So what do I DO to keep an 8 month old happy??? My fall back is taking him to the mall or Target because he loves to look around at things - but keep in mind that I carry him throughout these places as he likes to look and touch and interact with everything! What else?? Is there anything else I can do with him to keep him entertained? I hate the idea of turning on the television, right now we keep tv to a minimum and I want to keep it that way as long as possible.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

Sunday

Sunday was rough. Now contrary to most of my posts, Nathan is actually usually a really sweet, even tempered baby. He's fascinated by everything and everyone and wants to SEE everything and be held by everyone. Rarely does he do "shy", and rarely does he scream for hours. His crankiness - while frustrating - is something some of our friends will say "is that it"? I'm not sure if it's because I'm already such a helicopter mom that I can't help but respond to every peep and he never really has a NEED to cry for longer than a second before I'm racing to his side, but regardless, he's usually very sweet. Saturday was awful. He screamed and screamed and had a horrible fever, and his Grammy and Grampy came to see him and brought TOYS and he was not going for it. He was MAD and sick and obviously didn't feel well. We called the on duty nurse and she made an appointment for Sunday morning. So here's our day in pictures:

Nathan is on to two meals of day of baby food and while he makes fussy faces when he first tries a food, he hasn't refused anything. Until.... organic sweet peas. The one food he absolutely would not eat:

Please note the open container of peaches which he happily DID eat after the failure of peaches!

We didn't take pictures at the Pediatrician's office because we thought perhaps the other parents would frown on us whipping out a camera, but the long and short of it is Nathan is on his THIRD ear infection. Oh joy. We got home a little after 11am and I had to kind of force Nathan to take a bottle. Whenever he's sick his appetite is just nowhere near where it usually is. Doesn't he look THRILLED to be eating a bottle?? Normally he sucks it down in like 2 minutes!

Around 11am both Nathan and I were dead to the world. I lay down next to him to "keep him company" before he drifted off to dreamworld and I was soon snoring and drooling next to him. Here's what Jeff did while we napped:

Why yes, that IS wrestling! Thank you for asking!

When Nathan and I woke up we headed off to the BJ's in Burlington which was new and lovely and CLEAN and Nathan wanted to check out the diamond rings that were on display. You know, scoping out what to get Mommy for Mother's Day!

Normally Nathan does not watch television. But we've caved a few times and let him watch one show from NickJr. It's called "WonderPets" and it's 15 minutes long. It's perfect for days like this where NOTHING makes Nathan happy and he can go from laughing that we are blowing raspberries on his belly to crying. The 15 minutes distracts him and gives us a much needed break.

And here's Nathan peering out between the bars of his prison.. I mean CRIB! He was all proud of himself for rolling onto his belly over and over again and then CRYING because he didn't want to be on his belly anymore!

And here's what Jeff and I needed at the end of a long day!

Need for Clutter Control

There's a coffee cup on the arm of the sofa. It's empty, but at some point that morning it held coffee. I don't drink coffee.

Perhaps there's a tiny bit of coffee left in the bottom of the cup. It's still sitting on the arm of the sofa. Or perhaps it's sitting on the kitchen counter. Or maybe it's resting on the desk by the computer. But it's there. It is NOT where it belongs - the kitchen cupboard, nestled safely with its cup brothers and sisters. It is NOT in the sink soaking in hot, soapy water waiting to be cleaned. It's... someplace else.

In Jeff's mind, the cup is exactly where he wants it. At some point this morning he may want another cup of coffee. And when he does, the cup will be ready and waiting for him. It has a purpose. It has a goal. It is waiting for him patiently to decide if the goal is a refill, or to be cleaned and put away.

Over in MY mind I'm thinking "What the fuck is the coffee cup doing on the arm of the sofa". That's a precarious spot. It could fall. It could break. Most importantly.. this is NOT where the coffee cup BELONGS. It needs me to help it, it NEEDS me to pick it up and carry it to the kitchen sink where I will wash and dry it, carefully placing it back in its home in the cupboard. I pick the cup up and bring it to the kitchen and begin the reunion process.

5 minutes later Jeff wants another cup of coffee.

The cup, is mysteriously gone.

Who is right?