Book Review of "New Moon" by Stephanie Meyer

I write this review knowing that "Twilight", a Young Adult series, about a girl in love with a vampire has a huge, fanatical base of fans of all ages. I enjoyed the first book in the series, and actually thought the love story was kind of sweet - even if it was an obsessive, stalkerish love story. But I forgive, because it's a fantasy. So I went ahead and got the second book on Amazon's Marketplace for the bargain price of $1.99 not including shipping. Read it, and HATED it. I hated it in so many ways its almost hard to start. So let's get to it.

Now, Bella (the heroine and teenage human) is in a relationship with Edward (hero and teenage vampire). Edward became a vampire at the human age of 17, but is hundreds of years old - and he is apparently GORGEOUS and SPARKLES in daylight. Bella describes herself as plain and mousy, and is thrilled to be dating Edward. Fine, right? Now because Edward is a VAMPIRE Bella is freaking out that she's going to age and he is not. So even though she has this fantastically good looking and sparkly boyfriend who ADORES her and sleeps in her room and follows her around her every breathing minute of the day, she is not happy. She wants to be made into a vampire too, because at age 17 she is VERY concerned about how old and haggard she is going to get. So Edward throws Bella a birthday party and at some point during that party she gets a paper cut. Remember, Edward is a VAMPIRE and the blood causes him and his vampire family to have a complete and utter freak out. Edward decides he and his family should leave the state, effectively dumping Bella.

Bella becomes "catatonic" with grief, and this underlined by leaving pages blank in the book. (as my father pointed out, the author is using the word "catatonic" incorrectly, which annoys me on a whole other level, but I'm going to just go with the author description here to make it easier for all of us!)

The next chunk of the story talks about how Bella is "like a zombie" (and sadly, she is not moaning and talking about eating brains), her father is worried, her friends are worried, basically she's just going through the motions of living. For MONTHS. Now, I remember being 16 and having my own lovey dovey boyfriend, Darren. I ADORED that man, my world pretty much revolved around him. When he left for college and MOVED IN WITH ANOTHER GIRL, my world was rocked. I was heart broken. I cried and cried and cried and wrote bad teenage poetry, and I eventually moved on. Because guess what? I had friends who loved and supported me and I had a life. It was crushing, the whole loss of your first love, but life does go on. I got another boyfriend and another and some years later I'm happily married to a wonderful, non-sparkly in daylight, but still incredibly handsome, man. Not that my life is a perfect, shining example - because if there was a bad relationship decision to make, God only knows I made it. But come ON!

Okay, back to the story - Bella becomes friends with Jacob (a teenage werewolf) and he's gorgeous and tall and studly and sweet and adores her. But she, by her own admission, uses him because she feels so empty with Edward leaving. Even though the boy WORSHIPS her, she just can't be with him because her feelings for Edward cannot be denied. (Let me get this straight, your boyfriend dumps you and another boy who is also mind numbingly attractive is following you around like a love struck puppy and you don't go for it??WHAT?) And Edward talks to her in her head - which in no way can be construed as a mental illness, because when your ex talks to you in your head it's true love. Bella does a lame "I kind of want to die, let me jump off the cliff and dramatically tell Edward I love him with my dying thoughts" thing and of course Edward hears about this and thinks she IS dead and tries to kill himself. This means Bella races to the rescue to reassure him she is NOT dead, she meets some vampires who are evil and is repulsed by them, and Edward and Bella are back together. All is well, and Edward ends the story with proposing to Bella.

Excuse me while I go jab a pencil through my eyeball. What I hated most about this book is that even though Bella is selfish and conceited and obsessively in love with a boy who she really knows nothing about, everyone forgives her. She uses the people around her, causes them unpardonable pain, and learns NOTHING. Remember the evil vampires? She talks about how she doesn't understand why ANYONE would want to be a vampire, and then pages later is back to nagging Edward about turning her into one. My God. Oh, and even though she wants to sell her soul for her true love by becoming a member of the blood sucking brigade, she won't marry Edward. That's too much of a commitment and his proposing to her freaks her out. GAH! GAH! can I get another? GAH! There are also literary references to Romeo and Juliet and Wuthering Heights throughout the book, and how Bella feels that those two stories are tragically wonderful love stories. No Bella, they are NOT tragically wonderful love stories. Romeo and Juliet DIED (and frankly I always thought they were crushingly stupid), and Catherine and Heathcliffe were two irredeemably bad people whose obsessive love for each other destroyed those around them, as well as each other. These are two incredibly BAD examples of true love - and a hint to that would be neither ended well. I keep hearing that the storyline is a good one, but I just don't think I can bring myself to read the third. I do love fantasy romances, and vampires (really, who doesn't??), but this one? Ick. I give it a big thumbs down.