When I was younger, I loved Romance novels. You know, the bodice rippers filled with innocent virgins and dashing men. One author that I read a lot of was Julie Garwood. ...
The one above was the first one I found, and at 14 I don't even remember why my mother bought it for me, but I wound up reading about 7-10 of Miss Garwood's books. I stopped reading them when two things happened:
1. I noticed that all her books were pretty much the same. Beautiful, innocent, VIRGINAL heroine somehow crosses the path of handsome, world-weary, SLUTTY man. Man at first dislikes heroine, until he starts to become enamored with her charms (virginity). Heroine finds man loathsome at first (he's a man whore), and then eventually becomes enamored with him. They have sex, scenes that largely consist of phrases about caresses, gasps, and hearts filled with love. Cue to the BIG PROBLEM, where some sort of misunderstanding separates the two, hurt feelings abound. Then the big make-up where the two get back together and either get married immediately, or get engaged immediately, walking off into the sunset hand in hand. End Story.
2. My father, being even more of a book snob than I am, HATED the fact that I read these books, and undertook a spectacular cure for my obsession. How did he manage this? Well he would pick up a book, flip it open, and randomly start reading. OUT LOUD. Now I don't know how he managed this, but he would always manage to find the BIG SEX SCENE of the book, lots of descriptions of salty kisses, rough hands, bodies pressing together and my father would gleefully follow me around the house as he read. I, meanwhile, would be holding my hands over my ears and screaming because let's face it, the horror of my FATHER talking about sex was enough to scar me for life. I don't even think 20 years later I've fully recovered from that trauma.
Anyhoo, books. I do love books and maybe my next post will include some of my favorites!
4 comments:
Book snob?
Book snob?
Well, OK, I guess I have to plead guilty, though I would prefer to phrase it slightly differently. Like, discriminating reader.
But I proudly admit to my program to develop a taste for good writing by reading the other kind out loud.
I do notice that though you claim to have stopped reading romance novels, you're don't admit that you're about to start writing them. I'm sure your faithful readers would appreciate your posting your chapters as you write them.
Whadda ya say?
That's sort of how I feel about Danielle Steel novels. The heroine is always rich and lives an exotic life. No worries about gas money or mortgage payments! They're either insanely and naively happy with their present partner and then meet someone else who throws them into a quandry, or else they are single, meet a wonderful guy and everything falls magically into place UNTIL...dum da dum dum....The Problem happens.
(insert problem: re-emergence of long-lost love or evil stepchild; spouse has affair; etc.)
They split up, realize they can't live without each other, kiss and make up.
Lather, rinse, repeat!
Katharine~Remember all the steamy stories you wrote about all of us and the guys we had crushes on in high school? You really knew how to make a girl blush. (o:
Dawn, I still HAVE some of those stories!! Hee hee.. I read through some of them a few months ago and laughed and laughed! Ahh.. I wonder whatever happened to Mr. Russell Keith Harrington????
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