Tuesday, April 29, 2008

morning reading

So I was reading on Slate.MSN this morning that in Indonesia they are actually putting into LAW the need for Massage Therapists to wear chastity belts. Yes, CHASTITY BELTS. I'm copying and pasting part of the article here:

Here's the report from Indonesia, courtesy of Paul Watson in Sunday's L.A. Times:
In a bid to prevent any hanky-panky between masseuses and their clients, several massage parlors ... are insisting that the women wear padlocks across the zippers of their work pants. ... [The instigating parlor owner] settled on black pants that zip up at the side, where a padlock is slipped through two cloth loops and snapped shut each time a masseuse meets a client. ... He stores the padlocks and keys in a special box at the cashier's counter. When a customer arrives for a massage, given in a private room behind a curtain, the "cashier calls one masseuse, asks her to prepare things and locks her pants," ... [and] "when the client is done, the masseuse comes to the cashier, and the cashier opens the padlock."Several other parlor owners have supposedly decided to adopt similar locks. A local official says, "We expect this policy to be enacted as city legislation."


So let me get this straight, as a therapist you meet your client, discuss the goals of the session, and then come back out to get your pants PADLOCKED??? Her pants are actually locked?? I have so many questions about this, first being, really?? Padlocked? The article talks about how the, I am presuming, male, clients are "sweet talkers" and that the therapists are then "seduced" into somehow turning a massage session into a little something more... if you get my drift. Here are my questions:

1. Just WHAT the heck is the client saying that causes the female therapist to throw aside all her morals and objections and be "seduced"? I'm just saying that it would have to be something pretty darn spectacular. Something along the lines of "My dearest angel, you are a gift from above. Let me whisk you away on my private jet where we will fly to my private tropical island. Once there your only responsibilities will be lounging on the beach with a frozen margarita and if you want anything you need only to snap your fingers. Jewelry, clothes, private planes - you need only ask and your wish will be granted. If you want to talk, I will be available, if you want to be left alone, I will leave you until you need me. I worship you, you are my life and love, my only reason for living". God I'm fanning myself just thinking about this. Oh, and if it was KANE saying all these things, well then I'm sorry Jeff, but I would be gone.
2. How does the therapist use the bathroom??? If your pants are PADLOCKED, how do avail yourself of the facilities? And what if you get a pretty urgent need to pee? Do you just cross your legs and hope for the best?
3. I just can't get over the fact that in this day and age we're seriously talking about CHASTITY BELTS. I mean, that was something that was implemented in the MIDDLE AGES. Chastity belts? I'd ask what's next, but I can't think of anything more horrible. Chastity belts - BAH!

4 comments:

Crankipantz said...

Let me get this straight. You're leaving me for Kane? I mean....he may be one of the coolest wrestlers, but attractive he is not. We're talking about kind of freakish looking Kane here. Zip up and slap on that lock if you're going to give it up to Kane.

>:-\

Mr Darcy said...

That's another gray hair.

Heide said...

Congratulations on your new blog! I absolutely love Monty's sweater. Does he object to wearing one? We only have cats and they do not like clothing, even if it's lovingly hand knitted. Too funny about the massage therapist laws.

Unknown said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA at the article!