Lameness

I am such a big baby when Jeff goes out at night that I don't sleep. Jeff says it's negative thinking, and that I set myself up for failure, but I call it "realistic". Jeff goes out = no sleep for Katharine. I am also so incredibly lame that I have my father come upstairs and watch as I let Monty out for his final bathroom trip. You know, in case someone tries to run up the stairs of our deck and break in during the 5 minutes Monty circles the yard before rushing back inside like the lumbering beast he is. To make matters worse, my father is so nice he actually said he would sit in my living room WHILE I SLEPT because I was TOO SCARED TO SLEEP ALONE. Now, that is more than a little sweet of my father because - hey? Who else but a PARENT would indulge the insanity of their child in this way? Never mind that I am 36 years old and my DADDY IS TRYING TO HELP ME SLEEP!! I believe I have reached a new low. Instead I like to lie awake and torture myself with horrible, horrible thoughts. But not until now did I realize I had NOT tortured myself with one horrible, terrible, awful thought. That a demon might be waiting around to take possession of my child. And for this nightmare I would like to give a big THANK YOU to "Paranormal Activity 2"




I have not seen the first movie after hearing "you won't sleep" anytime a friend told me about the storyline. After seeing this preview for the second one, I don't think I'll be breaking down any doors to watch it anytime in the near future. Meaning, never in this lifetime. Now when Nathan screams in the middle of the night I'm not thinking "Oh he dropped his pacifier" or "Oh, his diaper leaked and he has wet jammies", instead I am thinking "Holy crap a demon is trying to possess my child - must run to him NOW". It's not like I don't have an active enough imagination as it is.. now I have to worry about demons?? My only real consolation, and I'm a little embarassed to admit this - I can convince my crazy inner self that demons aren't going to harm my child because if they were.... are you ready? Jay and Grant from "Ghost Hunters" would have already found proof of it somewhere. And since I record each episode of "Ghost Hunters", I know that they have never found proof of a possesion. THAT helps me sleep eventually. Jay and Grant from "Ghost Hunters". Oh, and my Daddy!

Disappointment with cooking

This past Saturday Jeff and I had friends over for dinner. Newlywed friends back from a lovely-sounding honeymoon. (Hi Sage and Don!!). In honor of this momentous occasion I busted out some recipes and attempted to make different dishes for then meal. First up was baked sweet potato and homemade cinnamon butter. Well the cinnamon butter was yummy, but I've never baked sweet potatoes in an oven before and they looked - unappetizing. They didn't taste bad, but I think I made the pieces too small because they were really dried out looking when I finally removed them from the oven. However they WERE edible when smothered in cinnamon butter. My second attempt did NOT go as well. I attempted to make the following cake:

Almost Heaven Cake
Ingredients:1 box yellow cake mix20 ounces can crushed pineapple2 cups cold milk1 (4oz.) box instant vanilla pudding mix8 ounces cream cheese, softened12 ounces Cool Whip
Directions:
Prepare and bake cake mix according to package directions for 9 x 13 dish. When done, pierce cake with fork. Pour pineapple with juice over cake. Combine milk and pudding mix in bowl. After beating well, blend in cream cheese. Spread over pineapple. Top with Cool Whip. Can garnish with chopped pecans or coconut.

Sounds yummy, right? Well I started the cake late... and as I put the ingredients together for the final steps I missed the key ingredient. Instant vanilla pudding. Instant. I used regular vanilla pudding mix and I think that was an important distinction. Too much pineapple juice, too much milk, nothing solidified. It was one big yellow cake and pineapple mess. Our guests gamely tried a small bite, but trust me. The cake was bad. It looked like it had already been eaten. YUCK! I wound up throwing it out and I was very annoyed with myself. I had picked this particular recipe solely because I had the majority of the ingredients on hand. I was sooo proud of myself for being budget conscious AND creative! Sigh. It was not to be. Better luck next time I suppose!

Things that make me happy

I do a lot of complaining via my blog. Most of it is tongue in cheek, some of it is true venting, but not a lot of "things that make me happy". In the interest of showing the little things that make me in explicitly happy, this post shows just a few of them!

First up, decorations. I've mentioned before how I LOVE holidays. I really love holidays. If I had an unlimited budget my front yard would look like the spirit of Halloween just threw up all over it. Sadly, I do NOT have an unlimited budget and I have to make do with some small decorations picked up at Target. These decorations are not big, but they make me happy. They make my living room feel "fresh" and they make me smile when I see them.

My mantel has a few candles and pumpkin decorations.

I am also a sucker for decorative pillows. I would love, love, love to get a new sofa. Our current sofa is supposed to be one piece, but we broke it up into two to get it to fit the new room better. It's not a BAD sofa. Just not particular comfortable. And the two smaller pieces make it near impossible for Jeff and I to sit next to each other. But check out my Halloween pillows? How cool are they? These new pillows make my sofa look "kind of" new, and I love them.

Poor Monty is not having a good year. But during nap time I tend to pick up the clutter of toys that Nathan and I have scattered throughout the living room, and I let Monty have free reign of the house. He enjoys the attention and freedom, and how cute is he napping in the sun?

AND.. I have started cooking. I made some lovely banana/oat/chocolate chip cookies. No added sugar - and they were yummy if a bit odd looking.

But just the fact that I found a recipe and got the ingredients and MADE them and they were edible made me deliriously happy!

So there you have it - small things that make me happy!

New for a new style

I need a haircut. I don't know why I'm even bothering to look at pictures of styles since I never really GET that style when I go in to the hairdresser. I haven't had my OWN hairdresser since I went to a woman named Bianca who was FABULOUS and left suddenly with no trail. That was three years ago. Three years. I've tried a few other places, but I am so, so, so tired of just pulling my hair into an elastic. It's all I do now. I'd like some shape. I'd like some style. I'd like to look less mom-like and maybe a little bit like I CARE! I DO care. I really do. I just have NEVER been good with my hair. Well, not since the 80's when I sprayed my hair within an inch of its life. But at least I had a STYLE. I'm not saying it was a GOOD style.. but it was a style and I was fanatical in my devotion to the hairspray gods. For example, I hated aerosol hairspray. I wanted the spray pump hairspray because THAT hairspray made my hair all stiff and crinkly. It had STAYING POWER! I was particularly partial to the White Rain brand of hairspray. A spray that I believe is long gone nowadays.

Where was I? Oh yes, the eternal hunt for a style. Now that I've started taking care of my make-up and my skin - it's time for the hair. Now, as a stay at home mommy I pretty much live in tee shirts and yoga pants, and I'm fine with that. But I'd like to look KIND OF pulled together and I think having some sort of hairstyle would help. I know it can be done. I see moms all the time who have NICE HAIR. Hair that has been blown dry and combed out and looks GOOD. I want that.

So here are two ideas, any suggestions? And if you have any suggestions about a good hairdresser - I'd like that as well!

Pictures can lie

Don't these pictures look adorable? Aren't they sweet? Well let me tell you, our day at the pumpkin patch was NOT sweet! It was not like in the movies, and it was definitely a day where the definition of "marriage" was put to the test! Meaning we had to define marriage as "Not leaving your significant other and child as you went running off into the hills screaming" and instead define it as "laughing hysterically about how bad our day actually was".

Marriage has many definitions, and here are a few I came up with on that ever-reliable site called Google.

Marriage
the state of being a married couple voluntarily joined for life (or until divorce); "a long and happy marriage"; "God bless this union"
two people who are married to each other; "his second marriage was happier than the first"; "a married couple without love"
the act of marrying; the nuptial ceremony; "their marriage was conducted in the chapel"
a close and intimate union; "the marriage of music and dance"; "a marriage of ideas"

Personally I think marriage is the ability to laugh hysterically with your husband after having an epic fail of a day with your 15 month old at the pumpkin farm. After only an hour of a wanna-be toddler who was a shining example of why birth control was ever invented we were driving home and fantasizing about how being left in the worst areas in the world were preferable to going BACK to said pumpkin farm as long as we were, alone. Blissfully alone. Wonderfully alone. Ahhh.. to be alone. Peace. Sweet peace.

Top spots to be left alone:
Wal Mart parking lot
Wal Mart parking lot, in the car, with the windows rolled up, in the summer
McDonald's playland
The scary, closed down gas station
Alaska
Antarctica
The Middle of Nowhere

Jeff and I were having a grand old time as Nathan munched happily on his cheerios in the backseat. Which can I tell you how annoying it is that as soon as he got in his car seat and strapped in and was given his snack cup of cheerios he was perfectly happy? And don't tell me we should have given him cheerios earlier - because we tried. We tried bribing him with cheerios, with ice cream, with a hayride, with visits to see the animals in the petting zoo and he STILL acted like some sort of demon spawn.

I had been under a delusion all day that we would frolic around the pumpkin patch taking adorable pictures of our son. You know, like in every Kodak commerical I have ever seen on television? I had even dressed Nathan in an EXTREMELY cute outfit just because I wanted the BEST PICTURES POSSIBLE! I thought we would ride the hayride and giggle and laugh like the wonderful family I know we are. It was not to be. So to me, marriage is having moments like these and still being able to go home and further humiliate yourself by putting on a bathing suit and get into a bubble bath while you try and give your treasured child a bath. Because oh yes, I did that to. Where's my award?

Bathtime

Nathan is going to be dirty for a few days. Dirty, dirty. We're trying to break his fear of the bath - a fear that is SO STRONG that as soon as he HEARS the water running in the tub he starts to cry. Tonight Jeff totally took one for the team. He got in the bathtub in his swimming trunks and we filled the bath with toys and bubbles. Next I brought a screaming Nathan into the bathroom and we sat next to the tub and he sat on my lap. When he calmed down we let him play with the toys, and Jeff did REALLY OVER THE TOP motions of playing with the tubby toys, letting the water splash, playing with bubbles. The funniest part? He left his shirt on in the tub. I asked him if he wanted to take it off and he said "Whatever" and just got right in. I had to fight not to giggle. Nathan DID appear to calm down and start to giggle and laugh. We kind of sponge bathed him during this time as he played with the toys and bubbles. However, if I put Nathan down NEXT TO the tub, crying would immediately start. I'm not sure just what he's so afraid of, he's never really had a bad experience in the bath (I mean, the kid has a million toys and it's all warm water and bubbles - how bad is that?? I could stay in a bubble bath for hours - and have done so on multiple occasions!), but clearly he's afraid. Tomorrow night it's going to be my turn to take one for the team and put on the bathing suit and splash around in the tub. We're hoping we'll break him of this fear and eventually bath time will be fun time around here! Fingers crossed!

Oops! Sorry for the lack of posts!

Sorry for the lack of posts everyone - I'd been waiting for inspiration to strike so I could write something insanely funny and entertaining - it never happened.

To make up for my laziness.. here's a bunch of little posts!
1. I have been cooking!!! Take a quick look outside, pigs are NOT flying! I actually looked at a recipe, got the ingredients, PLANNED AHEAD, and MADE THE MEAL!
I made two very similar recipes. Salsa chicken and salsa chicken casserole. Salsa chicken is super easy, and the casserole was a little more time consuming. Both were good, though Jeff and I both agreed that the salsa chicken was the tastier of the two meals.

2. I'm getting into the groove of being home. I have space in our new house, it's an open floor plan and I love that I can actually do something like, laundry, and not have to go out the front door, down to the back of the house, open the basement door and into the basement to do laundry. Now I just go downstairs into my father's part of our house and plunk in some laundry. Not having to carry laundry outside in the rain or snow or wind is BLISS!!!

3. Monty hates us and is most likely plotting to have us all taken out. Because Nathan LOVES Monty and one of his favorite words now is "puppy", he will chase Monty if given the opportunity. In an effort to prevent something BAD happening, I have to gate Monty down by our bedrooms during the day. Now, Monty has his own dog bed, toys, food and water. But he HATES this and will whine constantly throughout the day at the unfairness of his life. I figure this is the best solution though until Nathan is big enough to understand that Monty is NOT just a big stuffed animal walking around for his amusement and needs to treat him GENTLY.

4. Spencer's Gifts. Jeff and I were walking the mall with Nathan, kind of browsing and we went into Spencer's Gifts on a whim. I am firmly of the mind that nobody actually BUYS anything in there. It's all just some elaborate ploy to make me shudder and think old lady thoughts like "The youth today are AWFUL" or "Turn down that music" or "Why aren't you in school"? There were actually maternity shirts that said - "I'm not fat. I'm knocked up". Classy. Real classy. I cannot BELIEVE I didn't know about these shirts when I was pregnant. At one point in the store Jeff and I saw an "Carmen Electra Stripper Pole" for sale. A STRIPPER POLE! In a store that was primarily for teenagers. Now, it was bad enough that this store sold MATERNITY SHIRTS when what they really needed to sell was a Depo shot that automatically just stabbed girls as they walked in, but a stripper pole? Jeff and I looked at each other, started to say something snarky about it, and then noticed that a 16 year old girl was having an in-depth discussion on how to install the pole in her room and RIGHT NEXT TO THIS GIRL WAS HER MOTHER AND INFANT DAUGHTER IN A CARRIAGE. So many things wrong there, so many things. I'm no prude but at 16 I would rather have stabbed my eyes out with a pencil then talked to my mother about sex - never mind STRIPPER POLES IN MY BEDROOM! Or coming home and annoucing I was pregnant. Nope, that would NOT have gone over well in my house. NOT AT ALL! Nathan and I had a long talk about how a girl with a stripper pole in her room is NOT a girl he should be dating. Or talking to. Or looking at.

And in case you want to take a look at the pole, here's the link. You're welcome.
http://www.electrapole.com/

And here's the shirt from Spencer's, just so you can get the full effect of the awfulness.