Feeling Bad

Sometimes Facebook makes me feel bad. Well, not really BAD, but kind of sad. I read posts and I see people and for the most part I enjoy it. I do wonder though at times if all this "connection" is a little bit like a lie. Walk with me for a minute - I read the posts on peoples' lives, see the pictures, and it's wonderful to be back in touch with people and to see what's going on with their lives. But sometimes it feels like a false connection. I don't REALLY know what's going on with some of these people. We aren't REALLY connected. And other times I read the posts and see the pictures and don't feel the need to communicate any further because I just read what was going on in their lives. Why should I call? And that's kind of lazy of me. It's letting a true friendship slip away in a pool of lazy. There are also posts that I read and I wonder if people are truly as happy and grateful as they say. One person on my friend list is ALWAYS having the best day. She has the best kids, the best husband, she got flowers from the best husband, her baby slept through the night and didn't wake up fussing, she's making a scrumptious dinner for her perfect family and all is well. And I am jealous. My life, however awesome it may be, is definitely not filled with perfection. My living room is small and I can't play with Nathan in it. It smells like dog and I can't vacuum because Nathan is scared of the noise the cleaner makes. Laundry is perpetually either folder and stacked SOMEWHERE, or needs to be done. But never where it BELONGS in the dresser drawers. Jeff is fabulous, but there are times when we snap at each other and misunderstand each other, or are just so tired we sit next to each other and can barely form a sentence. There are NO FLOWERS (though to be fair, I DID tell Jeff that I thought flowers were a waste of money and not to get them - but still). And don't get me started on dinner. So happy-filled posts, which while lovely to read, sometimes make me feel inadequate. Like I should be feeling differently. Should do things DIFFERENTLY. Should have a different view on life. The pessimist in me wants to know why her posts are always so HAPPY. Is she TRULY this happy all the time? And if so, can I have whatever she has because I need that badly. Or is she very conscious of what she posts about her family? It could be a little of both? The point being - I'm jealous. I try and change my own attitude, to be more positive and cheery, and I can do it - up to a point. I consider myself a realist - I am NOT an optimist. And I have a slightly different sense of humor that relies heavily on sarcasm. Terminally upbeat posts are not my style (in case you haven't noticed!). I think I would be more appreciative of peoples' different ideas of posting on Facebook if I didn't, oh, LOOK AT FACEBOOK ALL DAY LONG! I will also try and be a little more positive! And call my friends more!