I was thinking of posting a whole bunch of grand resolutions for everyone. Of COURSE there would be the lose weight and exercise resolution, and get out of debt resolution and I feel like I've been making those resolutions forEVER!!!! It's boring. And it got me thinking, trying to get out of debt is mind-numbingly boring. It sucks, and it takes an ETERNITY.
It's not the idea that I can't use our credit cards that gets to me. And it's not the idea that I can't buy new clothes, or get "splurges" like $50 perfume and the such. Or $200 shoes that I love. It's the little things. The nit picky, tiny little things that get to me. For instance:
1. I use a face wash now from Target, Clean & Clear brand thank you very much. It costs about $7.oo. Well I ran out of this face wash, and for about 2 weeks it was not in my budget to get more. I had to dilute it with water and RATION IT OUT for 2 weeks before I could go to Target and get more effing face wash. That sucked.
2. Conditioner. I ran out of conditioner and just couldn't convince myself to spend the $10 to get more, so for two months (TWO MONTHS!!!) I didn't use any. Thank you God for elastics because my hair was not fit to be seen out of a ponytail.
3. Right now I'm out of my mascara. I'm at the VEEEEEEERRY end of my "Just for Redheads" mascara and it's drying out and I seriously cannot afford to get more until Thursday and payday. This also, in case you're interested, sucks. A LOT.
Really it's the small things that you can't buy when you want, things that previously you just would have gone ahead and bought without thinking about, that make me crazy. And it makes me feel bad that I'm so upset about not being able to buy them when I want. I mean, I'm blessed. I have plenty of food and a roof over my head and clothes to wear and I have a job and Jeff has a job and Nathan is growing fast and already wearing 12 month clothing at 6 months old.. so it's not like he's hurting either. But I still feel like pouting when I can't effing buy my facial wash when I want!!! I feel like stamping my feet and shouting "Unfair" and yet I also realize how stupid it is to be ticked off about small shit like this. There are people who have NOTHING and don't know where they'll be sleeping tonight or where they will get their next meal and I'm all pissed off because I can't buy the yummy smelling body wash I want. It's like I need to get a handle on my priorities!!!
And it's hard. It makes me want to say "HELL WITH IT", this credit card debt will NEVER be paid off and I might as well just go ahead and spend, spend, spend. But I won't. Sigh... I know that when our debt is gone our life is going to be a million times easier, we'll have more money in our pockets, we'll be able to get a retirement savings account and do all the little things we want to do. Though getting there is definitely NOT FUN.
So here's my resolution. I want to be smarter about my shopping. I want to look for coupons and deals so I can stock up ahead of time on those little things that seem to matter SO MUCH to me! And I want to figure out a better way to stock our freezer. And I want to use our crockpot once a week.
HERE THEY ARE, KATHARINE'S RESOLUTIONS FOR 2010:
1. Coupons - utilize them and stock up when the opportunity presents itself so I won't feel deprived.
2. Crock pot - use it once a week
3. Freezer - keep it stocked with food we'll actually, oh I don't know, EAT.
Right now that's it. Of course I want to lose weight and exercise but I figure I ALWAYS want those things so I should just do them rather than make some grand promise with the new year. I am also NOT going to put down being more "grateful". I am sooooo grateful already with all the blessings in my life and the idea of having to kind of change my personality so that I'm walking around singing "The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow" makes me itchy. And like I would be some sort of Stepford Wife robot. So let's leave the list where it is!
3 comments:
WOW, I totally understand you girl :( I had a BIG debt in my credit card about a year ago, I decided to ask for some money to my parents in order to be able to pay it, and when I stopped paying those terrible interest rates from the bank everything was easier, I already paid my parents their money but it took a lot of effort and sacrifice.
Costco! It will help with your resolutions. You can save, stock up your freezer, and they mail you coupons! I sound like a salesperson for Costco.
What the heck kind of conditioner do you use that costs $10 a bottle?! There are MANY decent brands out there for far less. I know you tried Suave and didn't like it, but you don't need to go to the salon shelf in CVS to get good quality hair products. I occasionally stop in at Boston Beauty Supply up in Danvers and am just shocked at the cost of some of the stuff. $20 for hair spray? Are they kidding??
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