Evening

Jeff came home from a LONG day at work very tired and slightly grump. I mentioned that perhaps he could later massage my feet, his response was as follows:

"F*ck NO! I'm going to play Grand Theft Auto and watch Tivo, that's it tonight. Eff your feet"!

Hysterical! I almost wet my pants laughing, if you could have just seen his face as I tried to shove my piggies into his lap. He was SO not having it. Poor man - it's just not his night! Guess I'll get my foot massage another night!

Crazy Day At Home

And by crazy day at home I think I mean that I am going slightly stir crazy. You be the judge - I've been surfing the Nordstrom website and looking at all the fabulous clothes and shoes that I can't afford and I found this pair of boots:

They are by Corso Como and are just shy of $180.00. Jeff thinks they're ugly, but I kind of like them. Is this proof that staying home all day and playing SIMS and watching television is playing with my mind? I think it is, because I'm actually on episode 3 of a "Denise Richards: Its Complicated" Marathon and I am started to LIKE Denise Richards. Gah! I think it's time to boot up my SIMS again!

Animals

Jeff is going to come home tonight and find that the animals are dead. I will have killed them. And I will kill them while laughing hysterically.

ALL DAY LONG I have heard whining from Monty - whine, whine, whine, whine - goes to door, runs back at me, whine, whine, whine
If by some chance I happen to MOVE during the course of the day he comes barreling downstairs at top speed and slams into me. Surely I am getting up to either:
A. Get him a treat
B. Take him out
C. Get him a treat AND take him out
As of this minute he has been outside 3 times in the course of 6 hours. What is he doing right now? Whining at the door.

Lily, not to be outdone, has started crying in her room. If MONTY is getting attention, well by golly she wants some attention too.
Lily - MEOW, MEOW, MEOW, MEOW... pacing around her room - MEOW, MEOW, MEOW. Her stamina knows no limit, her lung capacity would put an Olympic Swimmer to shame. She can keep this up for HOURS. What she wants, is to be let out of her room. Not because she wants to come over and get attention, oh no. But because she might MAYBE want some attention. Really it's the closed door that gets her, she has a psychotic desire to be on the opposite side of every door. Door open? She wants to stay in. Door closed? She wants out.

So Jeff, when you get home you may find two dead animals and a wife who has finally cracked.

Mood

I've been amusing myself at home by scaring all the delivery people who come to my house. Let's face it, when the door opens at a house you don't normally see a girl with a BIG scar on her throat that's been highlighted by purple markings. Nope, just not something that comes your way everyday. Most of them politely look away when dropping off one of the very generous gifts that have been sent to me, and one guy actually took an involuntery step back. Not good for the ego I confess. Anyway I want to send a big THANK YOU to all the fabulous people that have sent me flowers, chocolate covered strawberries, adorable socks and other various goodies. You are all the BEST!!!

I have the best friends/family anyone could ever want! ;-)

Surgery Post Recap

Okay, feeling a wee bit better and I'm ready for a big ol' post about my surgery. I'm going to try and break it down so its not a novel - here it goes:

Friday: I arrive promptly at Boston Medical Center at 6am with Jeff and my father. 7am I am in the surgery waiting room in a bed in my incredibly flattering johnny and waiting for surgery. The nurses were incredibly nice and one even took my name and number when she found out I was a massage therapist. My surgeon, (I'm shortening his name to Dr. Mac) arrived and chatted with me for a little bit and then comes the BIG PROBLEM. Where, he asks, is my pre-op bloodwork? I have no idea what he's talking about and tell him so. Apparently I was supposed to have some bloodwork done and it wasn't. So here I am on a stretcher and ready to go for surgery and it now looks like it won't happen. What I do need to do though, is give blood. Quite a bit of it too, so they can run some tests. Now the problem with getting blood from me is that 1. I have horrible veins that make most phlebotomists run in fear, and 2. I hadn't eaten or had anything to drink since 9pm the night before. This means that my horrible veins are even MORE horrible and when I tell you that 6 different people tried to take my blood, I am not exaggerating. I was stuck multiple times in multiple ways by multiple people and I was soon in tears. I just cried and sniffled and could NOT seem to stop crying, so the poor surgery people actually called Jeff and my father and had them come down to see me. Finally the *incredibly* nice Anesthesiologist gets the blood they need and that's the last thing I remember.

Later in the day: I wake up in post surgery with an urgent need to pee and apparently try to get up and go. Note to self: post-operation nurses do NOT like it when patients try and get up right after surgery. They made me stay down and I think I whimpered about having to pee for an hour before they let me get up and go. That anesthesia is some serious stuff people, my head was all foggy and it took a CONSIDERABLE effort to fully wake up so I could walk to the bathroom. But I did it. Go me!

Side note: Because of all the delays, 2 hours delay for blood and 4 hours for surgery, Jeff had to make a mad dash to Wakefield to take out Monty. And apparently Boston at rush hour is no fun because it took him over an hour just to get home.

Dinner time: I'm wheeled upstairs to the 7th floor (and oh this is NOT Jeff's day at all since he has a morbid fear of elevators and won't get on them unless threatened with bodily harm. He climbed the 7 flights of stairs instead). My father had the exciting task of sitting with me as I zoned in and out of consciousness until Jeff huffed and puffed his way upstairs. I actually was up and walking around by this point, and able to go to the bathroom myself. My roommate, a sweet elderly woman who I will call "Nervous Nellie" was very impressed. Jeff and my father left sometime around 8pm and I eventually crawled back into bed.

How do I feel: Well, it hurt to swallow and talk due to a tube being down my throat during surgery, and my normally high pitched whine voice has been replaced by a husky Kathleen Turner growl. I also have a very impressive slash across my throat that looks like I ran into Jack the Ripper in the hallways, along with some purple marker. But honestly, the pain is not that bad. Compared to the head pain I'd had earlier in the summer, it's nothing. I asked for tylenol for the pain and found out that while there was an order for morphine for me, there was not an order for tylenol. Weird, huh? Morphine was kind of overkill, so I went without.

That Night: Nervous Nellie was up ALL NIGHT LONG with her television blaring and calling for the nurse. At one point I even walked to the nurses' station for her since they weren't responding fast enough. Thank God for Disovery Shark Week which was on, I was able to sleep while listening to the various points of cage diving with Great Whites Sharks. *Excellent prep work for my upcoming vacation!!*

Next Day: God this is long now so I'll wrap this up. I was at the hospital until 9pm that next night and really, really thinking they wouldn't be letting me go home - when they finally released me. SCORE! I practically danced out of the hospital and Jeff and I were soon driving for Wakefield. It felt SOOOO good to be home and sleeping in my own bed! Long and short of it, surgery sucked, but it went pretty well all things considered, and it's over with! One less thing to worry about in the future!

Most Embarassing Fashion Malfunction

Because I'm home from surgery and tired I didn't really feel up to writing about the actual surgery/hospital visit. I'll write about that tomorrow when I'm feeling a little more like myself. Instead I'm going to talk about my worst wardrobe malfunction. About 10 years ago I was in Florida with an ex-boyfriend attending the christening of a niece or nephew of ex-boyfriend (I no longer remember which, ex-boyfriends' siblings were fairly prolific so it really could be either). At the time I was wearing a long dress, ankle length, that was black with small red flowers on it and puff sleeves. Now this dress buttoned all the way from the top to the bottom so if the buttons were undone the entire thing would fall off of me. I know everyone here can already smell disaster. Well I was "helping out" that day and watching one of the numerous kids at the time and was walking around with a toddler on my hip. Toddler decides he wants to get down. Does toddler decide to slide down normally and go on his way? No. Toddler decides to RIP OPEN MY DRESS and scamper off. I was standing, in a church, where people had VIDEOCAMERAS, while my entire dress was open for my ex, his family, and various other people to see. I immediatley sank down behind a pew and frantically buttoned up my dress where I proceeded to spend the rest of the day in open denial. I did not acknowledge that everyone had seen my (thankully, matching and very nice) bra and panty set, and I have not spoken about it until this day.

Anyone else feel like sharing a horrible embarassing wardrobe malfunction?

Guest Update About Katharine's Surgery

In Katharine's July 21st post, she mentioned her upcoming surgery...we that surgery is over now and everything went well. She should be coming home today. I'll let her give you the gory details, but here's a picture to whet your apetite: