Naivete

I was very, very naive when I was younger. In some ways, I still am. But when I first entered college I was really, really naive. I knew there were things like homelessness, prostitution and things along those lines - but I didn't KNOW. They all seemed so far away, abstract ideas instead of reality. When I first started college in Boston I can't even tell you how much money I gave away. I felt AWFUL seeing people who were homeless. People who looked desperate and hungry and were standing in horrible weather like rain and snow. It broke my heart. I also really didn't get the idea that things were not always what they seem. I still kind of have trouble with that idea, but I've gotten better. An example? When I was nineteen I thought about modeling. Now, I never really thought I was beautiful, but I thought I was pretty and I had a boyfriend at the time who thought I could make it as one. Not a supermodel mind you, but things like catalogue work. I went to an agency and they told me to come back when I lost twenty pounds (I never went back!) and I remember reading an ad asking for "lingerie models". Now at nineteen I was naive enough to think that it would be just modeling. The store was located in Revere, and apparently if you spent enough money on lingerie, one of the models would model your purchase for you. I remember being slightly confused by this because I couldn't imagine spending money at the store and wanting a girl to model my purchases. It just didn't add up and I couldn't wrap my brain around it. So I figured that the people who wanted this service were looking for kind of fit models. To see how things would fit if they saw it on a similar girl. That there might be some "hanky panky" involved, never occured to me. I actually called the place and told the guy on the phone my measurements (approximate, because I really had no idea) and he wanted me to come in for an interview. I was to bring lingerie. And no, this did not raise any red flags for me. I thought it made sense and I was more comfortable with bringing my own stuff. Before I went though, I proudly told my boyfriend at the time about my interview. To say that he "flipped out" would be a huge understatement. He freaked on me. Told me that it was pretty much prostitution and that the whole thing was NOT GOOD. I never went on the interview.

What brought this up? I was driving to Revere today and actually SAW THE STORE! I saw the store in a shady little area of Revere with neon lights around the window and all sorts of, well, not really NICE lingerie displayed. I got to thinking, what if I had gone on the interview? What if I, horrors, had TAKEN THE JOB?? How would my life be now? How would it be different? On one hand, being sheltered protects you. You don't expect things like that. But on the other hand, it can be bad because you don't expect things like that. You're not prepared when confronted with perhaps the not so nice areas of life. I'm just grateful for all the things I've gone through in life and how I am today!