Night Alone

Jeff likes to go to karaoke night, and he does this about 2x a month. When Jeff goes out, I have the house ALLLLLLLL to myself (well, aside from Nathan!), and I get ready to do things that Jeff doesn't enjoy.

I'll watch either a movie he doesn't want to see, or one of my shows from the TIVO cue. I also tend to get something indulgent to eat. Last night I splurged on McDonalds. The week previous Jeff bought me Ben & Jerry's Phish Food. Granted, now that I have Nathan I don't stay up late and it's not QUITE as indulgent a time as it was before we had Nathan. But it's still kind of nice. However, there is a down side. I am WAY more nervous when going to bed than I have ever been. And it's not nervousness about myself. After all, I lived alone for several years and always felt perfectly safe. No, I am a nervous wreck about NATHAN. What if something happens to him? What if a kidnapper breaks in and takes him??? Just that sentence alone fills me with a horror I cannot even describe.

So here's my new routine. I watch whatever show/movie I want, eat dinner, and when I'm starting to nod off, I take Monty out. It's AFTER I take Monty out that I go through an OCD-type ritual.

Bring Monty back inside and lock door. Check back door and make sure it is locked as well. Immediately I head to the master bedroom and look in the crib. Is Nathan still sleeping happily? Than all is well. Next I check closet in nursery, check shower, and check closet in master bedroom. Basically I walk the length of the entire house to make sure that with the 5 minutes it took me to walk outside and let Monty do his business in the backyard that someone did not sneak in and take Nathan, or sneak in and hide. I then make sure my cell phone is charged and bring it to bed with me. I do take comfort in the fact that I have an enormous dog who while not vicious, is EXTREMELY excited anytime someone comes to the door. He's a great heads up and impossible to ignore.

I know this makes me slightly crazy.. but I have seen WAY too many Dateline specials and scary movies, so the nightime bedcheck will continue as long as Jeff likes to belt out "My Girl Likes to Party All The Time" by Eddie Murphy!