Horror

Everyone here already knows about my love affair with QVC, right? And I particularly enjoy watching "Quaker Factory" because the woman who makes all these bedazzled creations is just a walking ball of entertainment. Well I was surfing the QVC website and of COURSE looking through all the sparkly, rhinestone encrusted creations that are for sale for "Quaker Factory" and I came across these:

Yes, it is a sweatshirt declaring your love for your cat. YOUR CAT. It lists all the charming reasons you love your cat (don't have to give them a bath or walk them being some of the reasons) and it's all written on YOUR CHEST FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE! This is so awful, so beyond awful I can't even think properly. This sweatshirt basically says - "I don't have sex". It also says "I have given up the hope of ever having sex". And it also says "I have about 3 dozen cats at home and spend my weekends hosting birthday parties for them". You know, I loved my own dear cat Princess Lily. She was spoiled and pampered and I adored her. She was my baby. She could do NO WRONG in my eyes. But I did not EVER wear a sweatshirt proclaiming this to the world.

Oh, and you dog lovers out there? Don't feel left out because there's one for you as well. I just couldn't copy the picture here for some reason. But feel free to take a peak at it on QVC.com!

Being an Adult

Do you know what's truly sad? When you get a birthday check (yes, it's my 35th birthday tomorrow - I'll pause so everyone can run out and get me a present) from your father and instead of thinking of the all the indulgent things you want to get you instead think the following:

• Boy I need new tires
• There can never be enough diapers in the house
• Maybe I'll save it for the oil bill

You know what?? Being an adult SUCKS!!! I miss my carefree blow all of it on a gorgeous pair of shoes and a facial days. Sigh...

Need for New Books to Read

So I have pretty eclectic taste when it comes to book. I read everything from classic literature to poetry to fantasy to biography to trash. Right now though I've been reading mostly baby and toddler books. Things like "Baby 411" and books on sleep habits and the such. Also, most of my favorite authors are working on their books and as such I don't have a whole lot new to read. Sometimes I go through the Amazon "if you liked this.. than you'll like this" recommendation list and buy them super cheap and used on the Marketplace, but nothing is really floating my book so to speak. Right now Amazon is recommending a lot of children's books (but I want books for ME not for Nathan's library), they are recommending parenting books (I already have quite a few and would like something a little more "fun"), or they are recommending some truly horrible and poorly written trashy books.

I need help.

Please feel free to let me know what you guys are reading. Favorite authors, titles.. help me out people and give me something new to read!

Newest Idea

There's a video on CNN.com about this family that is not grocery shopping for a month and instead is going to eat what they already have. The rules were no grocery shopping unless for milk, and eating out once a week. The woman estimates she's saving $800 a month. Very interesting. I'm tempted to try it since Jeff and I, while having cut down on our eating out quite a bit, still eat out way too much. Also, we're not that great about planning meals ahead of time. In fact, we suck at planning out our meals ahead of time. Maybe instead of a month, we'll do something a little easier, like two weeks?? Or is that just silly??? The woman on the video made a very good point of saying that we all have things in our freezer that we just forget are there... and that's certainly true for Jeff and I. In fact, maybe tomorrow I'll go through our freezer and cabinets and take stock of what we do have and throw out what has been in there since the earth cooled. From there I can kind of get an idea of what we eat and what we would need to stock up on.

I'm actually kind of excited about this.. which is kind of sad in a way... but excited regardless. Feel free to leave me any tips you might have - I'm going to need them!

New Annnoyance

I'm just curious why it is if you mention to someone that a particular topic bothers/disturbs/makes you sick to your stomach, and that seems to signal some sort of trigger in the person to tell you a story ABOUT THE VERY THING YOU MENTIONED MADE YOU WANT TO RUN TO THE BATHROOM TO GET VIOLENTLY ILL.

I mention this because my birthday is coming up and my father is treating me to lobster. I love lobster but I hate, hate, hate the way they are killed. I actually didn't eat lobster for 29 years because I was traumatized at a young age by the whole lobster killing thing. See, my mother one day brought home live lobsters for dinner. A treat for the family, right? Well her mistake was letting the lobsters crawl around on the floor before sending them to the big lobster pot in the sky. My sister and I were delighted with the lobsters. We NAMED THEM. We seriously thought they were going to be our new pets and would live in our bathtub. Needless to say when my mother served them for DINNER we were not happy. My sister and I buried them in the backyard. We were NOT HAPPY. So I never ate lobster after that. But I met Jeff. Jeff LOVES lobster, loves it and eventually I tried it and got to like it. But I still don't like the whole boiled alive thing, and I refuse to pick out my own lobster since the whole idea seems so cruel. Lobster is a treat. Lobster can be killed by other people, and sometimes I make a suggestion that perhaps the lobster can be killed humanely by driving a knife through his little head. Of course people look at me like I am NUTS when I make this suggestion, but I still try.

The point of the story is that when I mention how upset the boiling alive thing makes me, someone will tell me how they saw some horrible other form of killing an animal in GRAPHIC DETAIL. Why?? Didn't I already mention that topics like that bother me? That I stopped eating pork for 5 years after watching "Babe"? Still the stories come.

Which also reminds me of something my Grandmother said to me once. In an effort to be nice, she gave me her old, vintage, and quite beautiful fur coat. Why did she give this to me? According to my grandmother giving me a fur coat was perfect because I "love animals". I shit you not people... I love animals = fur coat. I gave it to my sister and it looks fabulous on her.

Sugar Intake

I was reading this article on MSNBC that stated that Americans eat 22 teaspoons of sugar a day (not including natural sugar as found in fruit and such) and it got me thinking. According to MSNBC and this study, one of the biggest culprits of added sugar is soda. Now if you all recall, I lusted after Diet Coke with an unholy obsession when I was pregnant. And as soon as I had Nathan I started drinking it again, a LOT. We're talking almost three cans a DAY! That's a lot of soda! Now I adore my Diet Coke, but going so long without it and then guzzling it down like it was the fountain of youth made my tummy less than happy. So I cut back. WAY back. I rarely buy it anymore for the house and instead switched to Crystal Light. My tummy is a little happier, and I still get my beloved Diet Coke when we go out to eat. What you say?? WE go OUT TO EAT?? Well you've got me there. Our going out to eat experiences tend to be along the lines of Bickford's or Chili's and they are always planned out ahead of time. Not so much for money reasons, but because we have a baby that can morph into Dr. Jekyl in the span of a second. It's just no fun to scarf down a meal in a restaurant when you are doing the following:

Staring at your child to see if he's about to start screaming

Holding your child in one hand while you attempt to eat with other (something you have to do because your child DID start screaming and this is the only way to calm him down).

Venture into the ladies' room to change a diaper and discover there is no changing table and instead have to take over the entire sink area forcing other patrons to just FREAKIN' WAIT TWO MINUTES WHILE I CHANGE MY HYSTERICAL BABY! Don't think there haven't been times where I've wished Nathan would pee on someone who was impatiently pushing past me to wash their hands.

So restaurants are not super easy for us right now and we tend to eat more take out if we do splurge. But back to the sugar, I was thinking that now that I have a child I should be more selective in my eating habits. You know, to model some good behavior for him and somehow I don't think my previous lunch of Diet Coke and Mint Milano cookies is something he should be duplicating. Right?? I mean, daycare probably would frown on that if I packed it for his lunch. Anyone else have any other suggestions for cutting down on their sugar consumption??

Morning

I'm just curious, has anyone ever come downstairs and found that their husband has left his underwear on the kitchen counter?

Anyone? Anyone at all?

No???

I guess it's just me.

Book Recommendations

This is for people who loved the Twilight series - I have some recommendations for books that are still easy to read, actually well WRITTEN, contain romance and/or hot sex, and something paranormal.

Whenever I rant about these books invariably someone will ask me about what I think are GOOD books. So here I go:

Looking for a vampire love story? Try the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris. I haven't seen the show "True Blood" that its based on, but I love the series. Sookie is a strong heroine. She saves her vampire boyfriend more than once, she is an ADULT and there are actually sex scenes rather than a fade to black (though not so insanely graphic that you're embarrassed to read them on the train!). I've read all the way up to book 8, and I confess I'm not as thrilled with the series now but that's all my issue. I tend to lose interest in a series after awhile.. I feel like the author runs out of ideas.

Looking for a paranormal story that includes vampire and werewolves and the such? Two authors that I love are Patricia Briggs and Ilona Andrews.
For Patricia Briggs there is the Mercy series which is about a werecoyote and how she solves mysteries and is friends with werewolves and vampires and all sorts of cool magical entities. She's also a mechanic and supports herself and there's tons of sexual tension between her and two other werewolves, but not sex. It's a harder series to read in the sense that its not lighthearted, it's very REAL but it's extremely well written. There is also the Alpah and Omega series which is about two werewolves Anna and Charles and it's very good. It carries on with with the werewolf side of things that is started in the Mercy series. Excellent!

Ilona Andrews writes about a bad ass Mercenary named Kate who also happens to be the daughter of an incredibly evil man. She can do magic and she's strong, takes no BS and has a running romance with the alpha of the shifter clan. It's a completely alternate world but its well done, and while there is no sex (yet), there's enough sexual tension to keep things moving along. There are three books in the series so far and they are all excellent.. I already have the fourth on my list for Amazon even though it won't be published for a LONG time.

Okay, so you're looking for hot sex. I can help here as well! There's the Dark Hunter series written by Sherrilyn Kenyon. It's all about vampire hunters called Dark Hunters (natch!) and they hunt Daimons (who are like vampires, but not) and these Dark Hunters are immortal. They also have a soul mate and the books usually focus on the whole standard romance idea which is this scary ass, insanely good looking guy is scarred from the past and learns to trust and love and blah, blah.. the stories aren't that original to be honest, and after reading two books you've basically read them all so I stopped buying them, but the sex scenes are pretty hot. No cut aways here!

Next up is the Riley Jensen series by Keri Arthur. Riley is a half werewolf and half vampire and she works for an elite security like CIA place where they police and solve supernatural crimes. In this world werewolves are insanely promiscuous and its refreshing to read a heroine who has NO QUALMS about recreational sex. In the werewolf world here monogamy is not something they practice until they meet their "mate". And at that point they are monogamous. So the sex is hot and frequent but by book 4 I'm a little frustrated with her insanely awful choices in bedroom department. You would think that for someone who has so much sex, she would be better able to weed out the potential assholes. Not so. You can bet that if there's a controlling, two faced bastard out there she will have sex with him in about two seconds flat. I also get a little tired of the author continuously telling me about Riley's need for sex and why. I get it, I don't need it hammered over my head all the time. But they are a fun series even if you will be embarrassed reading it on the train!

So that's it for now, I'll write another entry about other books I enjoy that are not fantasy based but I thought this might help you all out for now!

Third Rant about the Twilight Series

So "New Moon" is coming out, the second book in the Twilight series. And because I have no life I am going to rant some more about not only how awful these books are, how Bella is the world's worst role model for young girls, and also how much I loathe that she made vampires SPARKLE. But here's a quick point I'd like to make. In "New Moon" Edward the Sparkly Vampire dumps Bella the Doormat because he and his family ALMOST KILL HER at her birthday party. See, she cut herself and blood around vampires tends to be a big no, no. Consumed by guilt. Edward dumps Bella and runs off to parts unknown.




Bella is SOOOO upset she slips into a coma-like state. Here's where you lose me. In my life I have certainly had my share of heart ache. And I remember when my very first boyfriend MOVED IN WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND NEGLECTED TO INFORM ME OF THIS (Hi Darren wherever you are!!) and that sucked. I mean, that sucked A LOT. I was 16 at the time (Bella's age) and I was crazy about that guy. So I can kind of relate to how Bella feels (kind of, Darren, to the best of my knowledge, did not sparkle in daylight or suck blood, but I digress...). But here's the other thing. I was upset, I cried. And I did the following:
1. Cried


2. Ate lots of chocolate


3. Cried some more


4. Cried to my friends


5. Ate more chocolate


6. Went out with him after work one day where we played basketball and tried to be "friends". I instead flirted like a maniac with him and just as he conceded we might possibly go out again, left him. (Hey, revenge can be sweet).



Oh, and then I GOT OVER IT and GOT ANOTHER BOYFRIEND. And here's where Bella loses me, because she has a guy named Jacob panting after her (no pun intended since he's a WEREWOLF), and Jacob happens to look like this:

Uhhh.... the guy is SMOKING HOT. Where's the problem Bella?? Edward is gone... he dumped you after his family tried to kill you and you spend the entire book hanging out with sweet, sensitive, caring and insanely attractive Jacob (once again, see above) and all you can do is moan about Edward. Sorry girlie, this is sooo not realistic. ANY teenage girl would take a look at above and EVENTUALLY GET OVER THE GUY WHO DUMPED HER AND TAKE THIS NEW ONE FOR A SPIN!!! It's called hormones, and if I recall, teenagers are filled with them. Maybe not after a week, or a month, but it would happen.

Now I'm curious, does anyone disagree with me?? If your teenaged boy/girlfriend dumped you and an insanely good looking boy/girl started hanging out with you, confessed they loved you and all that, would you turn that down??

Insanely Expensive Taste

Holy crap do I want this bag from Nordstrom bad... so bad...

It's a Rebecca Minkoff "Stud Devote" tote, and the full link is here:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3023843/0~2377475~6022513~6022514~6024841?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6024841&P=1

And yes people, while I have no idea who Rebecca Minkoff is, but apparently this bag includes spun gold because it's retailing for $695. See, and this is why I have credit card debt because apparently I have insanely expensive taste. I can't go for the $100 bag.. or even the $200 bag.. NOOOOO.. I fall in love with a bag that's just a breath shy of $700. Insanity. Reminds me of the time Jeff and I went ring shopping and I asked to see a certain ring. I prefaced it by saying "I'm pretty sure we can't afford it, but I'd love to see this one ring". It was a cocktail style ring with a big ol' yellow diamond surrounded by pave diamonds. The saleslady told me I had "excellent taste" and took the ring out. It was $35,000. Yup.. I've got great taste alright, it's a shame I've got a Payless budget!!! ;-)

Funny Experience Interviewing

Over the course of my life I cannot BEGIN to tell you how many interviews I've been on. I've been on interviews where I haven't even exactly known what the position IS (thanks to employment agencies who would sometimes calls and tell me to get over to a particular company THAT DAY for a job that I didn't know anything about). Regardless, I always went on the interview because I really believe the more you interview, the better you get at it. And since I'm not particularly great at "selling myself", I need practice to get the hang of things. Anyway, a friend of mine reminded me of this one funny story of an interview I went on years ago, and I had actually forgotten about it until she reminded me.

I went on an interview for an administrative position with a high end company that chartered jets for wealthy, wealthy people. I didn't QUITE understand the role, but I went regardless. It was a late night interview, 6pmish and it was winter. So it was dark and COLD out, with the wind in particular just whipping through you as you walked. I went in, had my interview, and it seemed to go fairly well (though I am a bad judge of this part. I've been on interviews where I think I've landed job and never heard from them again, and I've been on interviews that I thought I've tanked and been offered the position). I said goodbye and got my jacket and left. Now remember, I went in after hours for this interview, so the woman and her assistant locked the door after I left.

I bundle up, grab my items and leave. I start walking towards the T to get home and casually put my hand in my pocket. No T pass. I put my hand in my other pocket. No keys. I stop walking and do a thorough search.. no pass.. no keys.. and suddenly I realize this is NOT MY JACKET. I have walked away with someone else's jacket. I have to turn around and head back to the office where I am forced to bang on the door until the interviewer comes out to see who the crazy person is outside. I have to explain that I took the wrong jacket.. and of course it is the INTERVIEWERS' JACKET. Of course it is. It couldn't be someone else's, it HAS to be the interviewer's. I try to laugh it off, I get the correct jacket and head home. Funny enough, I never got another call from them.

Now, in my defense both the jackets were the same brand and style, oh and black. They really were identical jackets, though her jacket was not quite as beat up as mine was. At the time I was mortified, but years later I had completely forgotten this humiliation. Anyone else have any funny interview stories they'd like to share?

Nightmares

I think I am behind on being scared to death by this, but if not, I thought I would scar the rest of you with this:




Yes, it's the BREAST FEEDING DOLL! Give the video a few minutes, but basically your little girl puts on a halter top and holds her baby doll to the flower where your baby doll makes a SUCKING noise. I do have to say that I am jealous of how easily this baby doll burps because God only knows I walk around the house with Nathan over one shoulder as I try to burp him. Now, I understand that breastfeeding is natural, and it's nothing to be ashamed about, but this really kind of creeps me out. Am I just super prudish here or is anyone else slightly disturbed by this breast feeding baby doll?

Crazy, Neurotic Dog

Monty is on Valium.

Seriously, our dog has a PRESCRIPTION for VALIUM! Apparently sleeping 20 hours a day is very stressful and Monty just can't handle it. I think I've written before that Monty has had seizures, well two weeks ago I woke up to an EXTREME close-up of Monty panting and drooling. His face was like 2 inches from mine, and he proceeded to walk from me, to the bottom of the bed and back again for like an HOUR. All the time panting and drooling. We thought initially he was having another seizure so we hustled him downstairs (last time he had a seizure he practically fell down the stairs and we didn't want him to repeat that scary performance). But this episode was different in the sense that he had coordination still, recognized his name, and wasn't doing circles. We held off taking him to the Animal Er and instead made an appointment with his vet.

Our vet's verdict?? It's stress related behavior and she blames it on barometric pressure, which apparently is quite high this time of year and she's seeing these symptoms more and more. Honestly, I don't get it. I don't understand how barometric pressure has anything to do with Monty's stress level, but I didn't argue. It of course doesn't help that we had the fireworks incident AND a new baby who can scream his little lungs out at any time of day. I know personally I have moments of stress, so I guess it makes sense Monty would feel it too. But at the same time, REALLY?? I mean.. he's a DOG.. and while I love him to death his life is not exactly stressful. He's got NO responsibilities, and his every need is catered to. He has toys and blankets and his own custom made clothing, he gets vet care and groomed... I just do not get it. Anyway, I did figure out that taking him for a nice long nightly walk helps his stress level (we've been so tired that we've been sadly lax in the taking for a walk department), and we've also blocked the upstairs. Mainly because I get so little sleep that being woken up by a drooling and panting dog with peanut butter breath is not high on my list of "must haves".

So for now he seems to have settled down again and we haven't seen that stress behavior, which is a good thing because we now have drool spots on our sofa and I have no clue as to how to get them out!

WHINE

I have my 6 week check up tomorrow at my doctor's, and I am dreading one specific part.

The scale. (insert dramatic music)

Now I know, its incredibly boring to read a blog whining about fat, but I really want to whine! I mean... my BELLY... GAH! I know it's not helping that my ice cream addiction that I fine tuned so wonderfully during third trimester is kicking my ass in the sense that I am NOT LOSING ANY WEIGHT. And of course I can't work out because everytime I go to put in one of my DVD's my baby screams his little head off. It's like he KNOWS his mommy is attempting some "me time" and he is NOT HAVING IT. He is NOT HAVING IT AT ALL!

I guess the only thing I can really do is make sure Jeff continues to gain weight right along with me, fair is fair, right???

Thoughts

When I was at the hospital after giving birth to Nathan, they made me watch something called "The Baby Channel" on television. It was a free station that had all sorts of programs that taught you things like how to diaper your baby, what would happen with the umbilical cord and how to care for it, all sorts of practical advice. Since I hadn't cared for an infant in YEARS, I pretty much kept the tv turned to this station all the time. However, there were two programs that were mandatory for me to watch. One was about SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) and the other was about shaken baby syndrome. Now let me just inform everyone that after you give birth you are a tad.. well.. emotional. You're also exhausted. Dead exhausted. I actually fell asleep during one visit from Jeff's family, just closed my eyes and I was out cold. Watching these two programs had me in tears... I'd hold Nathan and tell him how I would never, ever let anything like that happen to him, and than I'd cry. Not exactly uplifting television, but they definitely do the trick if the goal is to scare a new mother to death. I blame the SIDS show for why I check to make sure Nathan is still breathing multiple times during the day and night.

Anyway, I had a point here. Last night was AWFUL. Nathan was soooo gassy and for some reason our baby has a really difficult time burping. So he's gassy and it's uncomfortable for him so he SCREAMS his little head off, and while you're trying to burp he screams some more because nothing happens. You should hear us praise him when he DOES burp - the kid is going to be in school burping up a storm and thinking it's a good thing! Now even when Nathan is screaming and red faced and I'm so tired I fell going up the stairs after using the bathroom.. I can't imagine reaching the point where I might take that frustration out on him. However all bets are off when it comes to taking that frustration out on Jeff. I think I'm going to call it "Bitch At Your Husband" syndrome or "BAYHS" for short. Because people, there is NOTHING like a screaming baby at 3am that makes you want to snap at your significant other. Factor in a little sleep deprivation and the fact that one of you is going to have to go to work in 3 hours and well... It ain't pretty people. And God only knows we can find SOMETHING to pick at each other about at 3am. It can be anything from how quickly the other person is heating up a bottle to a debate on if Nathan is crying for more food or if he indeed, needs to be burped again. It's always over in the morning, the warm light of day knocking some sense into us but it still happens. So new parents beware of this syndrome, and maybe the Baby Channel will start doing a program about how to prevent this particular symptom of parenthood!