There's no happy medium. You can either be a slutty pirate, or a matronly pirate. What if I just want to be a pirate? A lady pirate. Not a pirate wench, a PIRATE. There's nothing out there. Now I have no problem with women dressing up this Halloween in whatever they darn well please, but it would be nice to have a few more choices out there.
I admit to being confused by sexy lion. There are a lot of adjectives that come to mind when I think of LION, and "sexy" has never entered into the top 100. Maybe it's me.
So what about a nun? A religious icon? Not for me personally, but how about SEXY NUN!
And the name of this costume??? Are you ready??? I don't think you're ready. Okay.. It's "Nasty Habit". GET IT?? She's NASTY!!!!! Bad nun, bad!!!
Still not finding anything? How about someone who is on the verge of a mental breakdown?
It actually says in the description of the "mental patient" costume that "just because she's locked up, doesn't mean she isn't hard to handle". See.. she still has cleavage in her straight jacket! No matronly straight jacket for our girl! No way!! Let's be cleavin' while the cleavin' is good! You never know just WHO you might meet in the ASYLUM!
So say you're getting tired of the sexy costumes and you think to yourself... "Self, why don't I dress up like a Disney princess? I have happy memories of those innocent, carefree movies, why don't I dress like, oh... Snow White"?
Yes, we have SEXY Snow White!
Sigh. All my happy childhood memories are being destroyed as I look at this picture. Snow White is now SLUTTY SNOW WHITE!
Can I get a happy medium PLEASE? I don't mind showing a little skin, but does ALL my skin have to be on display? I'd like to keep some of the candy in the basket, if you get my meaning. And I THINK YOU DO!!!!!!
BTW, at the very least they could do the same thing to the men's costumes. If I'm going to be walking around with everything hanging out I think guys should have to do the same. Really it's only fair.
2 comments:
This is exactly the picture any father wants of his daughter on Halloween. At least you would be leaving some candy in the basket - so I don't lose my peace of mind entirely.
And speaking of clever turns of phrase, shouldn't you be saving them for the next installment of your romance novel? Your faithful readers are getting restless out here.
I might still have a "happy medium" pirate costume from a while back if you want to borrow it. Of course, I may have thrown it away after I gave up on getting my pre-pregnancy body back. I had to go to the halloween store to get a feather boa for my costume for the musical I am in, and the high school girls who were looking for costumes were complaining about the exact same thing, how slutty all the costumes were and how their parents would never allow them to wear something like that. And then the other extreme, the "plus size" costumes that are all matronly.
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