Dear Hallmark

Dear Hallmark,

Could we talk? Just you and I for a few minutes? I love you Hallmark, I really and truly do. As a card addict, I adore searching for just the RIGHT card for the occasion. Money means nothing to me Hallmark when it comes to finding THE card. I have paid $5.00 for a single card that I thought was perfect. When my Grandmother was alive, I delighted in sending her unusual cards. Cards that were furry and plush that looked like teddy bears. Cards that had little packages of seeds, or bubble bath attached to them. Cards that played music or could record greetings. I loved them all. I have even, Hallmark, been to your competitor - Papyrus, and shelled out big bucks for a handmade, recycled card with sparkles attached if I thought the card was perfect enough for the person I was going to send it to. I pay careful attention to the WORDS inside the card - wanting them to be short and sweet and not going on and on and on because let's face it Hallmark.. NOBODY READS ALL THAT WORDING. Just a little tidbit from me to you!

Anyway, the point of this letter Hallmark is that I am tired of your Father's Day cards. At what point did the word "father" become a man who liked ONLY the following:
Sports
BBQ
Yardwork
Handyman
Coach Potato

It was hard enough when I had to buy a card for my OWN father since he embodies none of these traits. My father enjoys Opera, classical music, old black and white movies such as "The African Queen" and "La Strada". He is a die-hard romanticist and enjoys musicals such as "Carousel", and loves tragic, romantic endings. He goes to church every Sunday and teaches classes on different chapters from the Bible. He reads Math books FOR FUN!!!! So you see Hallmark, none of your traditional Father's Day cards fit my father. AT ALL. And I find myself searching vainly through your racks to find a generic Father's Day card that could MAYBE work for him. Some years I give up and don't give him a card at all.

Now I am in a double quandary as my own husband and father to my perfect and wonderful child is also not someone who fits the above Father's Day ideal. The only sport Jeff watches is wrestling. He loves video games and comic books. He loathes yard work - though will do it if it's absolutely necessary. He enjoys grilling - but I would never dare buy him something like a "King of the Grill" apron". He drinks beer sometimes - but prefers flavored and seasonal beers like blueberry and pumpkin as opposed to the traditional Miller or Budweiser. He is not someone I can easily find a card for either. Once again, this leaves me with very little to pick from, and I don't even remember the card I got him for last year's Father's Day. Needless to say - it was generic.

So Hallmark, how about stepping away from the idea that all father's are a stereotype. I am sure I am not the only person who has issues with this and it would be nice to see ALL fathers recognized on this holiday. I would like to thank you in advance for your time and attention to this matter!

Sincerely,
Katharine

Internet Surfing

Yes, when Nathan is screaming his little head off I internet surf. I need SOMETHING to keep me from losing my mind, and I found this little gem today:

On the plus side, you don't need to worry about your butt being on display when you sit down because your underwear is ATTACHED TO YOUR PANTS!!! Kind of ingenius when you think about it!

Letting him cry it out

Today is Day 3. For the past 2 nights we've been letting Nathan cry it out. And while there's the minor victory of Nathan sleeping IN his crib - we're all exhausted. Friday night he cried from 1:30am - 3:30am when he finally went to sleep after hysterics and Jeff and I sat downstairs and watched a poker tournament on television. Which, by the way, why is it okay to use math in poker, but not to count cards? I'm just wondering. Last night Nathan cried from 10:45pm - 3am. We watched Star Wars on television about 1 and 1/2 times, and alternated between napping and miserably feeling like the worst parents in the world. We were using the Ferber method to get him to sleep but everytime we went up Nathan would get more and more hysterical that we were once again leaving him. So we started stretching the time out till about every 30 minutes. Jeff isn't sure if last night Nathan fell asleep on his own, or he helped since when he went up he tried comforting Nathan by rubbing his cheek and Nathan passed right out, exhausted. Oh, and was then WIDE AWAKE by 6am te next morning. I just put him down for a nap around 9am and he screamed again till about 9:35am. Where he finds the energy to continue his tantrums I have no idea because Jeff and I are a wreck. Jeff has to work tomorrow so we're planning on turning off the monitor and having him sleep downstairs. There's no way he'll be able to function if he's only got a second night of 3 hours of sleep at work, and at least I can nap the next day when Nathan naps... I've read from friends that this can take anywhere from 3 days to a week and we're really, really hoping it will be more like 3 days because this is worse than when he was a newborn. Maybe it's because he's started calling for us, and we can hear repeated words like "da da" and "ma ma" from upstairs and that makes us feel like ogres for ignoring him. I keep telling Jeff we're doing this for Nathan, that him being able to sleep on his own in his crib is good for him, but it feels AWFUL right now. Really, really awful.

The Zombies are Coming!!!

I took a walk around the lake in Wakefield yesterday with Nathan. And first things first... oh boy am I outta shape. Ten minutes into the walk I was soooo tired. So tired. I wanted to turn around and call it quits but instead I persevered and walked the entire 3+ miles. As I walked though I looked at the houses around the area, kind of fantasizing about what it would be like to live in the various places. Now around this lake there is a cemetery. As I walked I thought to myself "How nice would it be to live at X"? And then I thought, "But it's right across from the cemetery". Not sure where I'm going? Well... what if people start rising from the dead? What if the ZOMBIES COME? Because where would the zombie first go? The houses AROUND THE CEMETERY!!! So we can't live near the cemetery and the lake because one night I might look outside and see this:

And that would suck. A lot.

Now here's the question. Does ANYONE else think of stuff like this? Or is it just me??

Attempt to use the Ferber Method to keep Nathan in his crib,

Nathan on a whole, is a very good baby. Or at least he USED to be a good baby. His crib is inches from our bed since our house is, oh TINY, and for now we're kind of stuck with this arrangement. It used to be we would put him down in his crib and he'd go right to sleep. Around 5am he would start to fuss, and in the interest of getting a few more precious hours of sleep.. we would bring him into bed with us. Well, at 10 months old, Nathan is on to us. He has figured out that if he screams enough.. well, he can get into bed with us THAT MUCH QUICKER. My question is, why? Why in the world does he want to be in bed with us?? I just don't understand. He has a brand new, and may I add - pricey, mattress. He has comfy sheets and blankets and a few stuffed animals. It's a comfortable place to sleep. I have no idea what the appeal is of sleeping between Jeff and I in OUR bed. I mean.. it's INCHES from us. It's not like he's lonely.. I just don't understand. But in our bed he wants to be. And NOW.

Last night we tried the following method at 4am. He'd been in bed with us since midnight and at 4am he started kind of whining. We changed his diaper, argued about giving him a bottle, finally made a small bottle, and put him in his crib. Screaming started almost instantly. This was the schedule I followed:

let him cry for 2 minutes. After 2 minutes I picked him up, consoled him, and when he was calm, back in his crib.
let him cry for4 minutes. Picked him up after 4 minutes, consoled him, and when he was calm, back in his crib.
let him cry for 6 minutes. I think you know the drill now!
let him cry for 8 minutes.
let him cry for 10 minutes.

At 10 minutes he was such a screaming mess, he was red and hysterical and taking large gulping breaths with tears streaming down his face and Jeff and I had another argument. Jeff was positive the doctor said not to let him cry longer than 10 minutes. I was just as positive that we were supposed to keep going with the schedule. I eventually caved and Jeff brought Nathan into bed with us. Once there it took Nathan a good 5-10 minutes to finally calm down. He was UPSET. We slept until almost 9am the next morning - unheard of in our household. So Jeff and I need another approach. Or an approach we can agree on that will not turn us into hissing harpies as we turn on each other as our baby screams in the background. Did we start this off the correct way? Did we do it wrong? I mean, obviously we messed up since we had Nathan back in bed with us by the end - not the result we wanted. So what do we do differently??

Send us some ideas people - we're willing to try almost anything since we're obviously complete pushovers!

thoughts about blogging

I've been reading a lot about people who used to write on their blogs super personal stories and how later they regret it. They may have written about sexual experiences, or something traumatic in their lives and once the words are committed to the internet.. they're out there forever. There's no taking them back. At first I thought - that wouldn't happen to me because 1. I don't exactly have a huge following! And 2. I don't write about deeply personal things, but yet I do try and share what's on my mind. See, what's the point in blogging if I can't share what's on my mind?? And sometimes, what's on my mind is not pretty. That's just life! I do want to make sure however that I am, and I'm not sure this is the correct term, a thoughtful writer. Meaning, I don't want to write something that my family would be embarassed to see, or something that would be betraying a confidence. I'm fairly private as a person, so writing this blog goes a little against my nature, but I suppose it's my vanity that has me write. For example, when I was younger I kept a diary, and I kept that diary for YEARS. Off and on from the time I was about 7 years old well into my high school years. I had been inspired by Ann Frank and her diary and I remember re-reading entries and wondering how a stranger would interpret my words. Kind of vain when you think about it... but that's kind of what blogging is all about. You're writing something personal, almost a diary, and yet you're also interested in what strangers and friends have to say about your thoughts. Are you, indeed, crazy? Are you not alone in your thoughs and opinions? So I did think about giving this blog a rest, but instead I'm going to keep going for a little while longer. My ego won't let me stop just yet!~

My Ability to Amuse Myself

I have a weird sense of humor. I pretty much always have. And I can amuse myself at pretty much nothing. One of my favorite things to do is to tease Jeff. I love it. The best way to tease him? When we're cuddled up on the sofa I pretend to take a bite out of him and I say:

"Honey, what am I"?

Jeff knows this game WAY too well and he'll usually just give me a deadpan look which of course sends ME into hysterics.

"You're a shark" he'll say.

I'll be DYING laughing and I'll manage to spit out "I'm a shark and I'm gonna eat you up".

Hit repeat because I can do this for quite a long time much to Jeff's chagrin, and the more unamused he is, the more amused I am by the whole thing. It's messed up - I freely admit this.

I don't really know why this amuses me to no end, but it never fails. I'll be laughing until tears stream out of my eyes and Jeff will be silently asking himself just why in the hell he married me in the firs place. Maybe it's because I AM so easily amused???

Weird Lunch Habit

This is the second time I've done something kind of weird at lunch. First off, had to go and fuel up my Jeep so I could make it home at the end of the day. Bu the weather was so nice I drove around for a little bit with the windows down and finally pulled into the McDonald's parking lot. Walked inside, got a Diet Coke, walked back outside, rolled down my windows and took out my lunch (ham and cheese on white with applesauce for a snack). Sat in my car and ate my lunch while perusing "Toddler Bargains". It was lovely! The day was great, the weather nice and warm, and I really, really enjoyed just kind of being by myself. I feel like as a mom and wife and also with work - I don't get much time to myself. When I was single and lived alone I would come home, have dinner, and pull out a book to read while doing so. I have to force myself NOT to do this now since it's kind of rude to sit right next to Jeff and have my nose buried in a book... we probably need to reconnect after a day apart and you know, remember that we're MARRIED!!!

So as a result - not a lot of down time. Not a lot of me time. A lunch in my car was perfect.. and way too short.

My question?? Is it weird I sat in my car all alone and ate lunch??

Senior Prom

In a nutshell? I didn't go.

I wish I had a better story for it, but really it was because my high school boyfriend/fiancee was always getting into trouble and wasn't allowed to take me. In all honesty, I wasn't too devastated at the time because the small, private school I attended was only having a prom because kids demanded it, but the rumour going round was there would be no dancing. And at the tender age of 17, I thought I was way beyond prom anyway. I was ENGAGED after all! Practically an adult when you think about it.

Yes, I would LOVE to go back and have a little heart to heart talk with my teenage self, but at the same time, those years were not all that bad. I was INCREDIBLY awkward for most of it, but I had a good group of core friends, some of whom I am still friends with now, and I managed to actually GRADUATE high school and attend college (a major accomplishment when you consider the fact that I was really only interested in two things - boys and heavy metal).

I do wonder now, what it would have been like to attend my senior prom. I had attended plenty of sweetheart dances, ROTC dances, even a few Junior Proms - but not my senior. And most people I talk to now are of two camps.

If they attended Senior Prom there were two possible results:
A magical, wonderful, storybook experience
A horrible, crushingly bad but now funny in hindsight experience

If the did NOT attend Senior Prom there were two possible results:
Had a wonderful time with friends doing something different like a theatre night or going into the city
Had a lousy time and stayed in with their parents and watched movies - something that once again is kind of funny and a badge of honor in hindsight.

My reason for not attending? Kind of lame. Okay, REALLY lame. I COULD have gone alone - but the snob in me was NO WAY attending a fancy dance if I couldn't parade around my boyfriend/fiancee. I mean, what was the point in even HAVING a boyfriend/fiancee if I couldn't make him escort me to over-priced events where he would have to make small talk with people he didn't know and where I would eventually make out with him in front of everyone and boy would they be JEALOUS!!! I mean COME ON!!!

Perhaps though I am putting too much weight into the whole Senior Prom experience. I grew up on the movies "Sixteen Candles" and "Pretty in Pink" and the idea of Prom is HUGE in these movies. Jeff attended his prom wearing a white tux with TAILS for God's sake, and I feel like maybe I missed out on not getting the whole enormous poofy dress with hair pulled into a some sort of weird up-do and wearing too much make-up. Hmmm... maybe that's a great idea of Halloween this year.. I could be an 80's prom girl!!!!

What do you all think? Did you attend your Senior Prom? Did you have a good time or bad time?