Let Me Tell You About My...

Oh my oh my

2011-02-03T23:35:00.004-05:00

Please tell me I am not the only person who remembers this commercial:

I remember being young and DESPERATELY wanting blue eye shadow like this. You know, on a STICK. A stick that looked like a lipstick but for your eyes. So I could color the WHOLE EYE LID BLUE! YES! Sadly I was never given My Sweet Sixteen make-up, and you know, I don't think I had a Sweet Sixteen birthday bash either. I feel cheated people. Where's my play make-up and huge birthday bash?? My parents have some serious explaining to do!

On a side note I like that the commerical makes a point to say that the make-up is "safe" and "washable". You know, as opposed to all that other make-up that is NOT safe and remains on your face until the DAY YOU DIE! Better choose wisely little girls or you'll be rocking the blue eyeshadow and pale frosted pink lipstick until the end of days!!!!

Slow to warm up little boy

2011-01-16T21:37:00.004-05:00

Nathan is not big on change. He does not like new things as a rule. He is cautious. He likes to check things out first. And maybe see them for a few times before really ENGAGING with whatever that item is. He is also not big on waking up (much like me!). When he gets up from a nap I make sure to take him AND his blankie to the sofa where we watch "Blues Clues". Sometimes I give him a snack like cheerios or goldfish that he kind of munches on while we snuggle. By the time the show is over he's awake and, usually, in a good mood.

Back to the change thing. Nathan got a really cute battery operated kitty cat from his Grammy and Grampy the other day and he wanted absolutely NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. The fact that this little kitty walked across the floor making cheeping noises made him cry. I wasn't worried though. I know that with a little more time he'll be playing with kitty, and I was right.

Check out my sweet boy and his kitty cat!

Full confesion: he did THROW the kitty a few times, but hey.. he touched it and didn't cry, so that's progress!

Desire to help the world

2011-01-12T23:39:00.002-05:00

With their resumes. And cover letters. My God people.... what are you DOING???? The resumes and cover letters I have seen just blow my mind. Each time I see a bad one I think "really? REALLY?? THIS is what you chose to send out to a potential employer"? Do these people not know that the job market is BAD right now? Like bad, bad, bad, bad? And even if it was an AWESOME job market - I still cannot for the life of me understand why ANYONE would response to a job listing with a short email saying how they want the job, and they won't "embarrass the company" if they are are hired. And not leave a phone number. Or address. Just a few sentences about how they want the job and THAT IS IT. This is NOT ACCEPTABLE PEOPLE! Now, I'm no genius, and I'm not a resume professional, but I've seen what's out there and I am afraid. YOU should be afraid. There are TONS of websites out there, books, seminars, all SORTS OF PLACES FOR YOU TO LEARN ABOUT RESUMES AND COVER LETTERS. People... UTILIZE THESE RESOURCES!!! Help the professionals help you.

You're not listening, are you people of the world? I KNOW you are not listening because if you WERE listening and paying attention you wouldn't do any of the following:

1. Use a template to create your resume (not a bad thing) and NOT TAKE OUT THE PARTS IN THE TEMPLATE THAT SAY THINGS LIKE "Insert work experience here" and "Insert key experience here". Do NOT leave those on your resume. They do NOT belong there.
2. Attach a resume. Or copy and paste it. But SEND YOUR RESUME. Do NOT just send an email asking when you can come in for an interview.
3. When writing your cover letter or introduction email - REFERENCE THE JOB AND COMPANY. Do NOT just send an obviously generic message that you appear to be sending to EVERY JOB OUT THERE IN THE WORLD. Make it personal. Let the hiring manager know you are interesting in THAT position, and why. This is your chance to make an impression. Yes, there is a chance that hiring manager will only skim your cover letter, or not read it at all - but resist the temptation to just send the generic note. Personalization is key. Even if you have just a regular template and you change only a few things here and there in it to make it work for the position you are inquiring about, that's fine. And if the listing tells you to contact a certain person - PUT DOWN THAT PERSONS' NAME! Make it look like you read the ad!
4. I feel like I shouldn't have to even SAY this, but please use proper grammar and spelling. Punctuation is also nice. No run on sentences, no random commas, and no random capitalization's in your note. Proofread it. Write it and wait an hour. Come back and look it over again before sending. You want it to be PERFECT.

This isn't rocket science people. There's tons of articles out there on the web that will tell you more specifics. You can even PAY someone to write your resume for you. God knows I will even re-write your resume your email for you. I LIKE doing that, and I'll even do it at a bargain rate! I can even give you a nice cover letter outline. You have to promise though to read what I've written above and take it to heart.

Oh, and one little tip I got a long time ago in a magazine and I have employed from time to time. Send that resume and cover letter Fed Ex or Priority Mail. If you REALLY want the job and want to distinguish yourself from everyone else - it's the priority mail thing. Addressed to the HR Manager or Hiring Manager personally. The reason? The regular envelopes tend to be opened by people like myself, and we sort them and THEN they go to the HR Manager. If you want it to bypass people like me - do the priority mail. That sometimes goes directly to the person in question, and it stands out. A little trick from me to you because I WANT you to succeed. I really, really do!

The Best Worst Movie Ever

2011-01-09T22:35:00.002-05:00

It's another wild and crazy weekend here at Chez Weiner. And what did Jeff and I come up with to do together?

Troll 2. Jeff and I rented "Troll 2" on the recommendation of a co-worker of his. Words do not do this film justice so I'll just put in the trailer:

It's bad. Like real bad. Like so bad that you cannot NOT watch the whole movie because you seriously cannot believe just HOW BAD this movie is. Laughably bad. Makes no sense bad. Bad, bad, bad. And next we watched a documentary made by the young boy who starred in this movie. Trailer here:

The documentary is actually excellent. He goes back and talks to his fellow cast mates, finds out what they're doing now, and also talks about how "Troll 2" has become a cult classic. It's really entertaining but I am still not 100% sure that I could recommend "Troll 2". It's not a long movie, but it's a BAD movie. Real bad. So bad that there are NO TROLLS IN THE MOVIE THAT IS TITLED "Troll 2". In FACT, "Troll 2" has NOTHING TO DO WITH "Troll 1". AT ALL. I guess all I'm saying is that you should pay to watch the documentary, but make sure you don't pay to see the movie!

Long, long stretches of time

2011-01-05T23:44:00.002-05:00

when I have to feed Nathan.

Oh my, feeding Nathan. I would rather change a dirty diaper than feed Nathan. I would rather do laundry, clean the bathroom, and pick up a million toys than feed Nathan. Feeding Nathan takes FOREVER. It's endless stretches of time I will never get back. It's boring. So very, very boring.

Now - I know we've already established how I would cheerfully lay down on railroad tracks for my precious angel, but feeding him? Ugh. Each mealtime takes approximately 45 minutes (and this does not include the time I spend cooking and preparing the meal for him). Nathan is learning to use a fork and spoon, and he is very enthusiastic about these utensils. But he is not GOOD with them yet. Sometimes he picks up the fork in one hand, the bite of food in the other, and then PLACES the food on the fork before attempting to maneuver it into his mouth. It's funny, but it's a long process. This is when I will sit and scroll through Facebook. Anything to pass the time. I can't leave Nathan in his highchair and walk around - what if he CHOKES?? And Nathan still needs things. Like more milk. And I will get him this milk NOW, thank you very much! Or he will want to feed me. And laugh. And feed me. Throw some food on the floor. Or show me his hands and say "yucky" because he's got sauce and cheese smeared all over them and I wipe his hands off and he IMMEDIATELY PUTS THEM BACK IN THE SAUCE AND SMEARS IT ALL OVER THE PLACE. Where is the sense in that??

Jeff and I are always trying to pass the job of feeding Nathan off on the other person. We're ALWAYS asking "You're feeding Nathan, right"? And that "right" is always tinged with just a hint of desperation. Just a tick! At the very least though we do NOT have to go through the elaborate dinner theatre routines we used to do, so there's definitely progress. But oh my, I cannot wait for this to get better. Wait - WILL it get better?????

Holiday Highs and Lows

2010-12-28T13:24:00.003-05:00

The High:
We had a great time over the holidays. We had family up, we had lovely gifts, and lots of wonderful food. Ahhh the food. It was delicious. But we had such a nice time. Nathan didn't really understand the whole thing, but he DID understand presents. And holy crap did Nathan make out. Now, we only got Nathan a few presents because - hey, he doesn't understand Christmas so why go crazy? AND because we knew he'd make out like a bandit from the relatives. My mother brought a ton of beautiful books for Nathan and he got a few other fabulous gifts from his cousins and Aunt and Uncle. It was Nathan's Nana, however, that REALLY spoiled him. He had four big, and I mean BIG bags, of toys. He got clothes and a push toy lawnmower, a rider, a stand up table and a bunch fo other things. My goodness. I have so many toys that the other day I filled two rubbermaid storage containers and one huge bag with baby toys and brought them to the attic. Even still there is barely room in his playroom because there are SO MANY TOYS. I will say this, I NEVER got that many toys in my life. I feel cheated people, CHEATED!!!

The Low:
Right now though, it's been clean-up time. Two bags of trash went out, I cleaned out the fridge and put in a load of laundry for Nathan and ran the dishes. I am EXHAUSTED. You would think that would be enough. Oh no. Oh no, no, no. My dog, the erstwhile Monty has been really nervous lately with relatives visiting and the such. Well the night before we had locked Monty in our room for the night - we didn't want him bothering Jeff's Mom and her boyfriend Joel in the middle of the night. Well Monty whined NON-STOP. Around 2am Jeff lost his mind and locked Nathan in the bedroom across the hall. Shame on us people, shame on us. Monty was whining FOR A REASON. He had to go out. And he had to go out NOW. We were greeted by dog poop... all over the floor. All over our beige CARPETED floor. Color me pleased. But I also felt bad. The poor dog had TRIED TELLING US he needed to go out, and we were so tired we didn't get the memo. But still... I spent HOURS in there cleaning up and there is STILL a brown stain on the rug. Do I need to add that at the same time we had been hit by a big time blizzard so Jeff and my father were outside shoveling. I don't know who had it worse, me or Jeff and my father. Personally I think it was me and my nightmare of rug cleaner, sponges and vacuum cleaner. Never mind that it is STILL not clean. So the room is shut off. What I really want to do is rip up the carpet because I am so grossed out by the idea of dog poop on the carpet, but let's face it - we're broke. It's not happening.

So that was our holiday! Some ups and downs, mostly ups, and we were all happy and warm and well-fed. Win win all around!

Oh, and I'm leaving you all with my first attempt at a gingerbread house. Be kind:

Santa

2010-12-22T14:10:00.002-05:00

One thing I've realized after becoming a mother, and now a stay-at-home mother, is there is a LOT competition between moms. How you raise your child, the choices you make - it's all up for controversy and someone out there is more than willing to make you feel bad about those choices. It's kind of sad really because you would think as women we would stand together and support one another with the decisions that we make as parents. God knows some days it's hard being a woman AND a mother no matter what you decide, so you would hope we would support each other.

Apparently Santa is one such hot button topic, and you can read what I mean in this blurb here:

http://www.babble.com/kid/kids-learning/no-santa-claus-for-our-kids/index.aspx#fbConnectSection

Now, I don't care that this mother isn't going to do the Santa thing or the Elf on a Shelf thing with her child, but it's the TONE in the article that bothers me. The self righteous tone that SHE is doing the best thing. That HER children are being raised the RIGHT way, the CORRECT way. I dislike this, mainly because I hate being told what to do - it's a leftover rebellion thing, what can I say!

Now in THIS household we have a child who will celebrate both Hanukkah AND Christmas. Right now it looks like Christmas exploded all over our living room, and we probably have to work on the whole incorporating Hanukkah thing. We also will most certainly be talking about Santa. In FACT, I already BOUGHT the Elf on a Shelf and since Nathan is still too young to care about things like that, it will be brought out next year. Also, next year - Santa. I also plan on doing super cheesy stuff like having Nathan leave milk and cookies for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. There are also KITS sold to make your kid believe. One is called "Santa Clues" and the description is as follows:

Oh, the wonder of Santa! With this whimsical kit, you—Santa's helper—will capture the timeless magic of Santa's visit to your home. Create a lifetime of memories when your little one wakes to spy a snowy hoof print...and Santa's coat button by the fireplace...imagine their surprise when Santa's glove is found draped by the cookies and milk. Kit includes seven clues and tips for getting the most out of them, year after wondrous year. For ages 4 and up.

Oh I am TOTALLY doing this. I don't care if people think I am "lying" to my child, I do NOT believe that Nathan will become a psycho because I told him about Santa. Me personally? I kind of figured out there was no Santa because the handwriting on the labels was so similar to my own parents. I do, however, distinctly remember that my parents had someone dressed as Santa come to the house and gave my sister and I a candy cane. I don't remember much else but it was FUN and I never forgot it. So it's all Santa in this house and a big fat neener neener to those that disagree with me!

Preserving my sanity

2010-12-16T22:04:00.003-05:00

Nathan is allowed one hour of television of day. Some days it's less. Some days it's more. Some days it's exactly one hour. Now, I KNOW that there is a lot of controversy about television and children, but some days it's the only thing that gets me through the late-afternoon/early evening cranky transformation that Nathan undergoes daily. Nathan and I watch the following:
The Wonder Pets
Miss Spider's Sunny Patch
The Fresh Beat Band

Ah the Fresh Beat Band. This is them here:

The names? There is Marina, Kiki, Twist, and Shout. As you can tell, they are VERY upbeat and happy. They sing, they have adventures, and the only thing that gets me through one of their shows (with the exception of the Freeze Dance song which I love for some reason), is imagining just which character is having a torrid affair with the other. I don't know WHY this amuses me, but it does. I mix them up, I swap them up, and I ponder the possibilities. I mean, they're all reasonably attractive people and they are thrown together ALL THE TIME, not to mention bonding over the silly things they do in the pursuit of acting and a paycheck. So, are they DATING?? Maybe this means I am a seriously disturbed person, but I recently found out a mommy friend of mind does this as well so I can't be THAT crazy. And hey, if you had to listen to "Go Bananas" more than once a day, I think you'd be entitled to a little fantasy as well!

Growing Up

2010-12-14T14:16:00.002-05:00

I'm kind of a grown up now. It still freaks me out when I think about it. Like an ADULT. I pay bills, I work to help support my family financially (ha ha ha - okay, I work to help keep my car running and my son provided with exciting things like strawberries and yogurt), and I am COOKING. Now, the cooking part is kind of exciting and sad. Previously, I took a sort of PRIDE in my lack of cooking skills. The fact that my oven had never been turned on, I was okay with it. More than okay. I remember I once made lobster ravioli with alfredo sauce for a guy I was dating. This was a BIG DEAL. If I attempted to cook something, something from SCRATCH, well, I was making a HUGE EFFORT. His response? To tell me it was "a little too cheesy" and he "didn't like it". Unbelievable. In that minute I decided, in my head, I would never cook for him again. And I didn't. And the relationship didn't last either. When I met Jeff I also attempted to cook for him. I made him baked ziti that was so bad that it was cold in the middle and burned on the outside. Do I even need to remind everyone that he ate it? Yup, he ate my completely horrible baked ziti. Definitely a keeper. So in the cooking battle I've been making some progress. I cook things that aren't bad. That we can EAT. I'm still working on the whole planning ahead of time and preparing ahead of time thing, but I'm making progress. And you know what? Part of it's a little bittersweet. A little sad. I have left my single days behind me. Left behind a little bit of myself. Stubbornly part of me wants to hang on to my no-cooking motto. But I know it's gone. On the plus side, I did get this great husband and baby boy out of the trade, so I guess it's not all bad!

Winter

2010-12-07T14:17:00.002-05:00

I love winter. Okay, I love the BEGINNING of winter. When snow seems magical and beautiful and it's all white and pretty. When you are able to layer your clothes and wear your thick sweaters and socks. I love slippers that are downy and thick and warm and snuggly and flannel pajamas and flannel sheets. I remember once reading in "Watership Down" (one of the best books in the world) that humans like winter because they enjoy being insulated from it. And that's true. I love being chilly outside so I can come INSIDE and warm up under down blankets and make hot cups of chocolate. I love burrowing under my blankets at bedtime and feeling warm and safe and happy. It's definitely a love of feeling PROTECTED during the winter. I am aware of the fact that I have a home, heat, food and family/friends means that winter for me is a good time. It means Hanukkah and Christmas and presents and lots of delicious food and it means starting traditions for my child. Right now I'm walking around in yoga pants and a fleece jacket because I love how snuggly it makes me feel. I have thick socks on my feet and I am happy. I'm happy because I worked out on the treadmill this morning even though I have a cold and it's made me feel tired and blah. I'm happy because Nathan FINALLY went to sleep and I've got a little break to play around on the Internet. I'm happy because there are presents wrapped under the tree and I've brought down my Christmas decorations. I'm happy because Jeff and I got to see some of his family to celebrate Hanukkah even though Nathan was a horrible bear - we still managed to have a good time. I'm happy because Jeff and I have been through the wringer as a couple and I feel like we've finally regained our footing as parents AND a couple. A tricky balancing act to be sure. And I'm happy that Monty is SLEEPING and not WHINING like he does most days. So yes, I do love winter!

Thankful List

2010-11-28T20:27:00.004-05:00

It was a crazy few days here at Chez Weiner. We had a lovely Thanksgiving holiday with family, lots of food and relatives. I had the bright idea of making a brine for the turkey but it didn't really work out. Jeff took over and seriously it was probably the best turkey he's made since I met him. I'm only bummed we didn't have as much leftover as I would have liked. I am a little late in my list but I thought it might be nice to share just how thankful I am this year.

1. I am thankful for my husband. Marriage is not easy, AT ALL, and nobody tells you this for some reason. But Jeff and I have managed to not only get over some pretty nasty fights, but also change our behavior in regards to how we treat each other. Considering I am about as a stubborn as they come, that's pretty huge for me. Compound that with the fact that my favorite form of fighting is to go full out passive aggressive and say "fine" when what I REALLY mean is I am "NOT FINE". Hey, we both have our faults, and that we're actively trying to get better in our relationship is a huge reason to be thankful.

2. Do I even need to write Nathan?? I think we all know how crazy I am for my son, so I won't bore you with more details!

3. Family. My family is probably dysfunctional with a capital D. I don't have the best relationship with my mother, but this weekend she took me out for lunch and shopping. And we didn't fight. That is HUGE! I still have vivid memories of shopping with my mother when I was younger that were so disastrous that at one point a salesperson actually asked us to leave the dressing room. It could get ugly. But this time we had yummy lunch, and she got Nathan some beautiful clothes from Gymboree (really, EVERYTHING is cute there!), and she would have gotten me some clothes but I was feeling overwhelmed by the post Black Friday crowds and didn't really have the time to try everything on, so instead she got my a beautiful new handbag. LOVE!!

4. Our house. My goodness I love our house. It's easy and cosy and lovely and PERFECTION. I am so in love with our house, and the fact that my father is downstairs and can run upstairs and "watch Nathan" when I need an extra pair of hands is just an added bonus.

5. My bed and watching QVC. Well documented is my love for QVC. Since Nathan is now in his OWN ROOM AND CRIB (Can I get a Hallelujah?) I have been able to resume my torrid love affair with all things Q. I get into bed, my super comfortable bed with thick blankets and comforter (that I love and Jeff loathes) and watch QVC until I drift into sleep.

There are so many other things I am thankful for:

Christmas decorations

Chocolate chip oatmeal cookies

Martinis

Date nights with my husband

Dolph Lundgren in "The Expendables" because he is freakin' hot STILL and I will always love him

Moisturizer

Shopping trips and/or playdates with friends

Harry Potter

Pedicures

The smell of fall weather

Hot apple cider

I could go on and on about all the things I love and am thankful for, but you guys get the idea! Hope everyone had as wonderful a holiday as I did!

And here's my little gift to you:

See, now you're thankful as well! ;-)

Lunch

2010-11-24T13:59:00.002-05:00

Chicken Salad. Doesn't sound so bad right? Well I had chicken salad and scooped it up with potato chips much like you would with dip. I was just feeling too lazy to get a roll out. It was actually really tasty with some lovely apple cider to wash it all down. I know, it's kind of gross but it tasted good and since Nathan is napping - nobody can watch me in my shame.

BUT, it IS a better lunch than the bowl of oatmeal chocolate chip cookie dough that I ALMOST made solely so I could eat it raw. Raw eggs and salmonella be damned!!

Thankfulness

2010-11-22T12:01:00.002-05:00

It's been a productive day here at the Weiner household. Got up and got Nathan dressed (his diaper rash is SOOOO much better - I know you were all dying to know that!) and we headed out. First things first we dropped off the Christmas Shoebox I had compiled at a local church in Melrose. Next up was a quick stop at the Christmas Tree Shop were I got a roasting pan and a super adorable present for Nathan for Christmas. Yes, I realize he was with me when I bought it, but at the same time, he's 16 months old and doesn't know I'm buying him a gift. I also saw a FABULOUS BLOW UP SANTA CLAUSE SNOW GLOBE - and I was sorely tempted to buy it but since I didn't have the cash, I sadly passed it by. Next up, I dropped off a box of Nathan's clothes to the Salvation Army. It feels good at this time of year to give back. Granted, I did so on a small scale, but it made me feel good. My family has been blessed and we have a whole lot to be thankful for, so giving back even just a little makes me feel kind of "christmasy".

What are you guys thankful for this holiday season?

2 Different Thoughts Today

2010-11-19T12:57:00.002-05:00

1. Nathan has the world's worst diaper rash. It's AWFUL and it's pretty much my fault. He's had some, ahem, tummy issues and when I took him on a play date he needed a new diaper. Now, normally I use Pampers Sensitive wipes on him. He's got my super-sensitive vampire skin, and those wipes work best. Well in my diaper bag I had Pampers Extra Thick wipes. They had "scent". I didn't think much of it and changed his diaper and he happily went on his way. Until that night. HORRIBLE diaper rash. So bad that I could barely change his diaper without him screaming. I wound up taking him to his pediatrician's the next day because it looked so bad and I was using Desitin, but what if he had something else and the Desitin was making it worse? Turns out it's just diaper rash and I just need to slather the stuff on like no tomorrow. And no more wipes. Instead I pre-cut some paper towels and put them in a wipes box and when he needs changing I get warm water and use paper towels and water. To top it all off?? Tummy issues. So he needs diaper changes almost hourly. Oh it's fun times here people, fun times. Can't just be one or the other, oh no. Gotta be both at once. And can I just say how much I love Desitin? I had stocked up on it before Nathan was even born and I'd used it maybe three times since then. But now, oh baby. I am SMEARING that stuff on Nathan's tush. I love it.

2. Second thought is, when will I learn? And by that I mean, when will I learn not to shop at expensive boutiques? Okay, not really boutiques, but more expensive stores for necessities. What am I talking about? Well I wanted one of those over-the-door shoe holders for my shoes. (I had one years ago - an EXPENSIVE one that actually coordinated with my bedding and then one day I moved and THREW IT OUT - GAH! I could just smack my twenty-something year old self). Well I was looking online at Christmas decorations and was kind of adding things to my online shopping cart so I wouldn't forget what I had found/wanted. I do that all the time. I must have ten Internet shopping carts filled with random items - it's a sickness. Anyway, I found a lovely over-the-door shoe holder for $22.95. Looked just fine. I didn't buy it because there were a few more items I wanted from this particular company and I didn't have the cash yet to get them. Fast forward to this morning. I can't take Nathan anywhere with other children because I didn't want him to spread the sickness, so I decided to head to Wal-Mart. I usually shop Target, but today I headed out to Wal-Mart with a list of items I needed. Once there I was walking the aisles and trying to keep Nathan entertained while also looking for items on my list (CHAMPION multi-tasker if I do say so myself) and I saw an over-the-door shoe thingy. I looked at the price. Ten dollars. TEN DOLLARS!!!! Okay, it wasn't as nice as the one I saw online. That one looked like it was better quality, but that was more than half off the other price. SCORE! I bought it and brought it home and it's working just fine thank you very much. I'm just annoyed that I even THOUGHT of getting such a basic item and paying so much money for it and even MORE annoyed that I HAD ONE years ago and in my twenty-something ignorance decided I didn't need it anymore and threw it out. Sigh. At least I'm KIND OF learning from past mistakes. That should count for something, right?

Visit to the Library

2010-11-17T23:21:00.003-05:00

I have a library card again. I haven't been to a library in years - since college really. I kind of just stopped going. But the Wakefield library is just lovely. I've got Nathan signed up in classes that meet once a week and I've been able to read some of the most interesting books. Now I don't have a lot of time to browse at the library. Nathan does NOT sit patiently and wait for me to peruse the shelves looking for specific authors or topics. So if the book is not out on a shelf for me to grab - well I'm not going to get it. I HAVE read some wonderful books though/

Hay Fever by Angela Miller - it's all about a woman who works as a publisher during the week in New York and has a goat farm where she makes cheese on weekends. That's a dull summary - but it's actually really, really interesting. I learned more about cheese, goats, running a business than I ever wanted to know but it was all interesting. Loved it.

American Wasteland: How America Throws Away Nearly Half It's Food (And What We Can Do About It) by Jonathan Bloom - This book was interesting but not as much fun to read. I definitely think Jeff and I should be more conscious of how much we waste. On trash day we have at LEAST 6 garbage bags out at the curb for pick up while my father has one. ONE!!! Our next door neighbor is an adorable elderly woman and she usually has two bags of trash at the most. Clearly Jeff and I are much more wasteful.

Curse of the Kissing Cousins by Toni Kelner - really cute mystery. Very modern and with a cute little twist at the end. Easy read and definitely engaging.

There's more - but I'm really enjoying picking up random books - books where I like cover and just pick it up. Books where I read that say, Alice Cooper enjoyed it, and then check it out to read myself. And I don't feel like I've wasted money because - it's a LIBRARY BOOK! I didn't have to pay anything. They are FREE!!! I did, however, stop checking out books for Nathan since he's still so little and I'm scared to death he'll RIP the library book. He's got plenty of books at home to rip to shreds thank you very much! We'll just wait till he's a tiny bit older before taking out library books for his enjoyment! Head to the library my friends - it's definitely the happening place to be.

Christmas Spirit

2010-11-09T23:15:00.002-05:00

Yup, Halloween is over and I'm in the Christmas spirit. Now I realize that it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but I've already started my shopping. And decorating. I'll take some pictures of our living room because I've got some small decorations out. I don't know where we're putting the tree this year, and I feel wrong putting it up before Thanksgiving, so right now it's just a small selection of decorations to kind of tide me over. And in the spirit of the season I've been looking at different charitable organizations to see where I want to give. I just discovered this one:
http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/

but it looks like such a great idea. You take a little shoebox and select the age group of the child and fill the box with presents. I love it and am a little bummed that I just came across this site because shoeboxes are due by the 22nd. Makes sense, but also means I can't be quite as creative as I like. I've already filled a box with toothbrushes and some soap, now I just need to be on the lookout for some other fun goodies.

My other charity is this one:
http://friends-n-neighbors.org/

They were featured on Dateline and I have a few things I want to get them. They're looking for blankets, coats, first aide supplies - and while I can't send a lot, I can send a few things. So I'm starting a box for them as well.

Mainly I'm just feeling very blessed lately. I am working at two great part-time jobs and am able to make my car payment AND help contribute to other home expenses. I'm really getting the hang of this whole "home with Nathan" thing, and I'm feeling a lot more confident in my mommy ability. I'm also really lucky that I have my father living underneath us. I was nervous that it might not work having him so close (let's face it, it could be BAD with a capital B) but so far it's been great. I know Nathan loves having his Grandpa so close, and I enjoy being able to pop downstairs to say hi and chat and just catch up. Never mind the fact that if I need to do something for say, 5-10 minutes, my father has been willing to come upstairs and look after Nathan. Another big plus? Jeff and I have had TWO date nights. TWO! I KNOW.. crazy. We went out to two lovely dinners and chatted and ate yummy food and enjoyed each others' company. It's been a long, long time since we were able to do that and it's thanks to my father that we could. So 2010 has been a good year for us - now if we can only find someone to buy our old house - well life would be golden!

Car

2010-11-03T13:24:00.002-04:00

I need to organize my car. Currently there are all sorts of things in it, things that I probably don't need. Like cheerios. My God the number of Cheerios on the floor of my car. I have enough to feed Nathan for the next week! I also have a bag of dry cleaning. A bag of dry cleaning, I hate to admit, that has been sitting on the floor of my car for like, oh, 6 months? Maybe more? But dry cleaning, things that I most likely won't wear anytime soon? I have other things to spend my money on. So the bag sits in my car. I SHOULD admit defeat and just bring the bag in, but I'm lazy, I mean STUBBORN, yes, I'm stubborn and the bag stays. I also have a shopping cart cover (yes, a little cover that goes OVER the shopping cart where Nathan sits. It's to protect him from all the gross germs on the cart and YES I thought it was stupid too until I had a baby and of course had to rush out and buy it because I am a sucker for marketing), I have a fleece blanket since it's winter and I want to make sure Nathan is warm while the car heats up, and I have a million board books that Nathan looks through when I'm driving. It's such a "mom car". What I really NEED, is the following:
An extra pair of gloves
A shovel
A gallon of water
A bottle of windshield defroster
A roll of paper towels
A bag of salt

You know, because it's winter and I should probably be prepared. Meanwhile, when did it get so blasted cold?? My God.. it's COLD out. I had the heat blasting last night and I still burrowed under the covers like some sort of mole person. Which brings me to my next issue. Jeff and I go through this ALL THE TIME. The "Is Nathan too cold or too hot" question. It's on-going. It's endless. It's season less. Since I am cold, beyond cold, at night, I am CONVINCED that Nathan is cold. He's in his fleece jammies every night now, fleece jammies WITH FEET I might add, and he also has a sherpa like blanket that he kicks off or squirms out of. So like a crazy person I run in in the middle of the night and cover him back up. Doesn't matter, he squirms out of it over the next hour. This makes me insane on a level I can't even describe. How do I know if Nathan is cold?? He doesn't understand how to stay UNDER his blanket... and his little hands are so cold in the morning, I just feel awful. How do I keep my precious angel warm???

November

2010-11-02T13:13:00.002-04:00

It's National Novel Writing Month and I've written 529 words since yesterday. According to http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/node I am a wee bit behind, but it's hard to write and entertain a baby all day long. I also work tonight and am working Thursday so writing time has been difficult. I am DETERMINED though to do this. I CAN do this. I will write my novel in one month! If you want to see what I'm talking about, check out the link above - I've never done it before but I'm thinking this is something I might like to do every year. If possible, that is! Hope everyone else is having a wonderful November!

Lameness

2010-10-29T00:47:00.002-04:00

I am such a big baby when Jeff goes out at night that I don't sleep. Jeff says it's negative thinking, and that I set myself up for failure, but I call it "realistic". Jeff goes out = no sleep for Katharine. I am also so incredibly lame that I have my father come upstairs and watch as I let Monty out for his final bathroom trip. You know, in case someone tries to run up the stairs of our deck and break in during the 5 minutes Monty circles the yard before rushing back inside like the lumbering beast he is. To make matters worse, my father is so nice he actually said he would sit in my living room WHILE I SLEPT because I was TOO SCARED TO SLEEP ALONE. Now, that is more than a little sweet of my father because - hey? Who else but a PARENT would indulge the insanity of their child in this way? Never mind that I am 36 years old and my DADDY IS TRYING TO HELP ME SLEEP!! I believe I have reached a new low. Instead I like to lie awake and torture myself with horrible, horrible thoughts. But not until now did I realize I had NOT tortured myself with one horrible, terrible, awful thought. That a demon might be waiting around to take possession of my child. And for this nightmare I would like to give a big THANK YOU to "Paranormal Activity 2"

I have not seen the first movie after hearing "you won't sleep" anytime a friend told me about the storyline. After seeing this preview for the second one, I don't think I'll be breaking down any doors to watch it anytime in the near future. Meaning, never in this lifetime. Now when Nathan screams in the middle of the night I'm not thinking "Oh he dropped his pacifier" or "Oh, his diaper leaked and he has wet jammies", instead I am thinking "Holy crap a demon is trying to possess my child - must run to him NOW". It's not like I don't have an active enough imagination as it is.. now I have to worry about demons?? My only real consolation, and I'm a little embarassed to admit this - I can convince my crazy inner self that demons aren't going to harm my child because if they were.... are you ready? Jay and Grant from "Ghost Hunters" would have already found proof of it somewhere. And since I record each episode of "Ghost Hunters", I know that they have never found proof of a possesion. THAT helps me sleep eventually. Jay and Grant from "Ghost Hunters". Oh, and my Daddy!

Disappointment with cooking

2010-10-24T22:36:00.002-04:00

This past Saturday Jeff and I had friends over for dinner. Newlywed friends back from a lovely-sounding honeymoon. (Hi Sage and Don!!). In honor of this momentous occasion I busted out some recipes and attempted to make different dishes for then meal. First up was baked sweet potato and homemade cinnamon butter. Well the cinnamon butter was yummy, but I've never baked sweet potatoes in an oven before and they looked - unappetizing. They didn't taste bad, but I think I made the pieces too small because they were really dried out looking when I finally removed them from the oven. However they WERE edible when smothered in cinnamon butter. My second attempt did NOT go as well. I attempted to make the following cake:

Almost Heaven Cake
Ingredients:1 box yellow cake mix20 ounces can crushed pineapple2 cups cold milk1 (4oz.) box instant vanilla pudding mix8 ounces cream cheese, softened12 ounces Cool Whip
Directions:
Prepare and bake cake mix according to package directions for 9 x 13 dish. When done, pierce cake with fork. Pour pineapple with juice over cake. Combine milk and pudding mix in bowl. After beating well, blend in cream cheese. Spread over pineapple. Top with Cool Whip. Can garnish with chopped pecans or coconut.

Sounds yummy, right? Well I started the cake late... and as I put the ingredients together for the final steps I missed the key ingredient. Instant vanilla pudding. Instant. I used regular vanilla pudding mix and I think that was an important distinction. Too much pineapple juice, too much milk, nothing solidified. It was one big yellow cake and pineapple mess. Our guests gamely tried a small bite, but trust me. The cake was bad. It looked like it had already been eaten. YUCK! I wound up throwing it out and I was very annoyed with myself. I had picked this particular recipe solely because I had the majority of the ingredients on hand. I was sooo proud of myself for being budget conscious AND creative! Sigh. It was not to be. Better luck next time I suppose!

Things that make me happy

2010-10-22T22:54:00.008-04:00

I do a lot of complaining via my blog. Most of it is tongue in cheek, some of it is true venting, but not a lot of "things that make me happy". In the interest of showing the little things that make me in explicitly happy, this post shows just a few of them!

First up, decorations. I've mentioned before how I LOVE holidays. I really love holidays. If I had an unlimited budget my front yard would look like the spirit of Halloween just threw up all over it. Sadly, I do NOT have an unlimited budget and I have to make do with some small decorations picked up at Target. These decorations are not big, but they make me happy. They make my living room feel "fresh" and they make me smile when I see them.

My mantel has a few candles and pumpkin decorations.

I am also a sucker for decorative pillows. I would love, love, love to get a new sofa. Our current sofa is supposed to be one piece, but we broke it up into two to get it to fit the new room better. It's not a BAD sofa. Just not particular comfortable. And the two smaller pieces make it near impossible for Jeff and I to sit next to each other. But check out my Halloween pillows? How cool are they? These new pillows make my sofa look "kind of" new, and I love them.

Poor Monty is not having a good year. But during nap time I tend to pick up the clutter of toys that Nathan and I have scattered throughout the living room, and I let Monty have free reign of the house. He enjoys the attention and freedom, and how cute is he napping in the sun?

AND.. I have started cooking. I made some lovely banana/oat/chocolate chip cookies. No added sugar - and they were yummy if a bit odd looking.

But just the fact that I found a recipe and got the ingredients and MADE them and they were edible made me deliriously happy!

So there you have it - small things that make me happy!

New for a new style

2010-10-20T22:41:00.005-04:00

I need a haircut. I don't know why I'm even bothering to look at pictures of styles since I never really GET that style when I go in to the hairdresser. I haven't had my OWN hairdresser since I went to a woman named Bianca who was FABULOUS and left suddenly with no trail. That was three years ago. Three years. I've tried a few other places, but I am so, so, so tired of just pulling my hair into an elastic. It's all I do now. I'd like some shape. I'd like some style. I'd like to look less mom-like and maybe a little bit like I CARE! I DO care. I really do. I just have NEVER been good with my hair. Well, not since the 80's when I sprayed my hair within an inch of its life. But at least I had a STYLE. I'm not saying it was a GOOD style.. but it was a style and I was fanatical in my devotion to the hairspray gods. For example, I hated aerosol hairspray. I wanted the spray pump hairspray because THAT hairspray made my hair all stiff and crinkly. It had STAYING POWER! I was particularly partial to the White Rain brand of hairspray. A spray that I believe is long gone nowadays.

Where was I? Oh yes, the eternal hunt for a style. Now that I've started taking care of my make-up and my skin - it's time for the hair. Now, as a stay at home mommy I pretty much live in tee shirts and yoga pants, and I'm fine with that. But I'd like to look KIND OF pulled together and I think having some sort of hairstyle would help. I know it can be done. I see moms all the time who have NICE HAIR. Hair that has been blown dry and combed out and looks GOOD. I want that.

So here are two ideas, any suggestions? And if you have any suggestions about a good hairdresser - I'd like that as well!

Pictures can lie

2010-10-17T19:34:00.004-04:00

Don't these pictures look adorable? Aren't they sweet? Well let me tell you, our day at the pumpkin patch was NOT sweet! It was not like in the movies, and it was definitely a day where the definition of "marriage" was put to the test! Meaning we had to define marriage as "Not leaving your significant other and child as you went running off into the hills screaming" and instead define it as "laughing hysterically about how bad our day actually was".

Marriage has many definitions, and here are a few I came up with on that ever-reliable site called Google.

Marriage
the state of being a married couple voluntarily joined for life (or until divorce); "a long and happy marriage"; "God bless this union"
two people who are married to each other; "his second marriage was happier than the first"; "a married couple without love"
the act of marrying; the nuptial ceremony; "their marriage was conducted in the chapel"
a close and intimate union; "the marriage of music and dance"; "a marriage of ideas"

Personally I think marriage is the ability to laugh hysterically with your husband after having an epic fail of a day with your 15 month old at the pumpkin farm. After only an hour of a wanna-be toddler who was a shining example of why birth control was ever invented we were driving home and fantasizing about how being left in the worst areas in the world were preferable to going BACK to said pumpkin farm as long as we were, alone. Blissfully alone. Wonderfully alone. Ahhh.. to be alone. Peace. Sweet peace.

Top spots to be left alone:
Wal Mart parking lot
Wal Mart parking lot, in the car, with the windows rolled up, in the summer
McDonald's playland
The scary, closed down gas station
Alaska
Antarctica
The Middle of Nowhere

Jeff and I were having a grand old time as Nathan munched happily on his cheerios in the backseat. Which can I tell you how annoying it is that as soon as he got in his car seat and strapped in and was given his snack cup of cheerios he was perfectly happy? And don't tell me we should have given him cheerios earlier - because we tried. We tried bribing him with cheerios, with ice cream, with a hayride, with visits to see the animals in the petting zoo and he STILL acted like some sort of demon spawn.

I had been under a delusion all day that we would frolic around the pumpkin patch taking adorable pictures of our son. You know, like in every Kodak commerical I have ever seen on television? I had even dressed Nathan in an EXTREMELY cute outfit just because I wanted the BEST PICTURES POSSIBLE! I thought we would ride the hayride and giggle and laugh like the wonderful family I know we are. It was not to be. So to me, marriage is having moments like these and still being able to go home and further humiliate yourself by putting on a bathing suit and get into a bubble bath while you try and give your treasured child a bath. Because oh yes, I did that to. Where's my award?

Bathtime

2010-10-15T21:35:00.003-04:00

Nathan is going to be dirty for a few days. Dirty, dirty. We're trying to break his fear of the bath - a fear that is SO STRONG that as soon as he HEARS the water running in the tub he starts to cry. Tonight Jeff totally took one for the team. He got in the bathtub in his swimming trunks and we filled the bath with toys and bubbles. Next I brought a screaming Nathan into the bathroom and we sat next to the tub and he sat on my lap. When he calmed down we let him play with the toys, and Jeff did REALLY OVER THE TOP motions of playing with the tubby toys, letting the water splash, playing with bubbles. The funniest part? He left his shirt on in the tub. I asked him if he wanted to take it off and he said "Whatever" and just got right in. I had to fight not to giggle. Nathan DID appear to calm down and start to giggle and laugh. We kind of sponge bathed him during this time as he played with the toys and bubbles. However, if I put Nathan down NEXT TO the tub, crying would immediately start. I'm not sure just what he's so afraid of, he's never really had a bad experience in the bath (I mean, the kid has a million toys and it's all warm water and bubbles - how bad is that?? I could stay in a bubble bath for hours - and have done so on multiple occasions!), but clearly he's afraid. Tomorrow night it's going to be my turn to take one for the team and put on the bathing suit and splash around in the tub. We're hoping we'll break him of this fear and eventually bath time will be fun time around here! Fingers crossed!

Oops! Sorry for the lack of posts!

2010-10-12T22:51:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the lack of posts everyone - I'd been waiting for inspiration to strike so I could write something insanely funny and entertaining - it never happened.

To make up for my laziness.. here's a bunch of little posts!
1. I have been cooking!!! Take a quick look outside, pigs are NOT flying! I actually looked at a recipe, got the ingredients, PLANNED AHEAD, and MADE THE MEAL!
I made two very similar recipes. Salsa chicken and salsa chicken casserole. Salsa chicken is super easy, and the casserole was a little more time consuming. Both were good, though Jeff and I both agreed that the salsa chicken was the tastier of the two meals.

2. I'm getting into the groove of being home. I have space in our new house, it's an open floor plan and I love that I can actually do something like, laundry, and not have to go out the front door, down to the back of the house, open the basement door and into the basement to do laundry. Now I just go downstairs into my father's part of our house and plunk in some laundry. Not having to carry laundry outside in the rain or snow or wind is BLISS!!!

3. Monty hates us and is most likely plotting to have us all taken out. Because Nathan LOVES Monty and one of his favorite words now is "puppy", he will chase Monty if given the opportunity. In an effort to prevent something BAD happening, I have to gate Monty down by our bedrooms during the day. Now, Monty has his own dog bed, toys, food and water. But he HATES this and will whine constantly throughout the day at the unfairness of his life. I figure this is the best solution though until Nathan is big enough to understand that Monty is NOT just a big stuffed animal walking around for his amusement and needs to treat him GENTLY.

4. Spencer's Gifts. Jeff and I were walking the mall with Nathan, kind of browsing and we went into Spencer's Gifts on a whim. I am firmly of the mind that nobody actually BUYS anything in there. It's all just some elaborate ploy to make me shudder and think old lady thoughts like "The youth today are AWFUL" or "Turn down that music" or "Why aren't you in school"? There were actually maternity shirts that said - "I'm not fat. I'm knocked up". Classy. Real classy. I cannot BELIEVE I didn't know about these shirts when I was pregnant. At one point in the store Jeff and I saw an "Carmen Electra Stripper Pole" for sale. A STRIPPER POLE! In a store that was primarily for teenagers. Now, it was bad enough that this store sold MATERNITY SHIRTS when what they really needed to sell was a Depo shot that automatically just stabbed girls as they walked in, but a stripper pole? Jeff and I looked at each other, started to say something snarky about it, and then noticed that a 16 year old girl was having an in-depth discussion on how to install the pole in her room and RIGHT NEXT TO THIS GIRL WAS HER MOTHER AND INFANT DAUGHTER IN A CARRIAGE. So many things wrong there, so many things. I'm no prude but at 16 I would rather have stabbed my eyes out with a pencil then talked to my mother about sex - never mind STRIPPER POLES IN MY BEDROOM! Or coming home and annoucing I was pregnant. Nope, that would NOT have gone over well in my house. NOT AT ALL! Nathan and I had a long talk about how a girl with a stripper pole in her room is NOT a girl he should be dating. Or talking to. Or looking at.

And in case you want to take a look at the pole, here's the link. You're welcome.
http://www.electrapole.com/

And here's the shirt from Spencer's, just so you can get the full effect of the awfulness.

Big Decision

2010-09-26T23:24:00.004-04:00

What to be for Halloween.... so many choices....
How about:

Slutty Big Bird? Too subtle? Not enough skin?

How about:

Slutty Mrs. Potato Head? Too many accessories? Maybe a little too hokey and not serious enough about the slut factor?
How about?

YES! It's Slutty Finding Nemo!!!! SCORE! I can dress Nathan up as Marlin and we'd be the most adorable mommy and baby costumes on the block! I cannot WAIT for Halloween!

Update

2010-09-23T23:14:00.002-04:00

So apparently the "Sister Wives" crew was on the Today show and they were asked how they deal with jealousy.

The wives were also asked what they do when they feel jealous. "You get over yourself," one laughed. Then Cody said "usually I'm the brunt of the jealousy." Well, duh.

I am sorry, but I am NOT going to GET OVER the fact that the man I married, the man I have a child with, the man I LOVE is doing the nasty with SOMEONE ELSE. Oh no, I do NOT think I am going to GET OVER that. Nope. Not happening. I also found it interesting that the wives all said that bringing another man into the picture isn't something they would consider. So the promo talks about how edgy and loving this family is but we can't bring another GUY into our big happy family. Oh no. Only ONE guy. Because if there was another MAN in the picture maybe our Cody husband would have to deal with all the things his wives are dealing with. Like JEALOUSY.

Bah. And bah again "Sister Wives" and Cody the husband. I hope one of your wives goes out and has a torrid, torrid affair with some smoking hot young man and leaves your butt in the dust.

living under a rock

2010-09-22T20:11:00.003-04:00

I was watching television for a little while today and saw a short preview for a new reality show on TLC called "Sister Wives". It was like a 30 second clip and you can get a general idea here:
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20420535,00.html

Now, I'm fairly liberal and like to think I'm not judgemental but I watched the preview and I could only think "really TLC? REALLY"? Now, the idea of having "sister wives" is actually pretty appealing to me. How cool would it be to say to my fellow wife "Hey, can you watch the kids while I go do.... " and fill in the blank with anything from the gym to a visit to the day spa. Or to have help cooking? I mean, cooking is a CHORE for me, and feeding Nathan is a big ol' chore.. so how cool would it be to have my "sister wife" do that for me? I get the feeling though, that this dynamic does not work in the lovely way I am thinking. And I do have a couple of questions.
1. How much money does this guy make? He's got QUITE the number of children and wives to support, and I don't know if the wives work outside the house, but that's a lot of mouths to feed. And clothes to buy. School supplies. College educations to provide for. Heck, that's a lot toilet paper to purchase! If one or all of the wives work to help finance the household - who watches the kids? Do they pay for childcare? Does one of the wives get stuck with most of the child/household chores? And if so, boy do I feel bad for her. I remember Nathan had like FOUR poopy diapers in an hour time span, and let me tell you - if I didn't love him more than life, that would have sucked. It sucked anyway.. but I can't imagine doing that all day long for children who are not my own.
2. Who ARE these women? While I appreciate these women are not teenagers, and that he's not marrying 16 year old girls, at the same time I just don't know why this particular arrangement is appealing. Marriage is hard enough as it is, I can't imagine SHARING marriage with like 3 other people. Ugh. You've got to all agree on discipline, nutrition, how to divide up chores, the list goes on and on. I won't even TOUCH on the whole someone else sleeping with my husband thing because that idea is so repellent to me I'm not even going to pretend to understand. But.. what if one of your "sister wives" wanted tips in the bedroom?? Can we say... awkward?
3. Let's get back to discipline. I would NOT be okay with a "sister wife" disciplining my child. Or what if you were the wife who had to work outside the home and your child was closer to your sister wife because THAT wife was home with them all day. Jealousy would be a HUGE issue for me.

Maybe I'm not evolved enough as a person to get past the whole jealousy thing. Maybe I'm not open-minded enough, but I will not be watching "Sister Wives" this season!

Love for Books

2010-09-16T11:18:00.002-04:00

Jeff has a kindle. My mother is dying to buy me a kindle. I've been told that books will soon be things of the past. That electronic readers like the kindle will be all around. Jeff LOVES his kindle. He reads more with it, he went on and on and on and on about how wonderful it is. How you can change font size and bookmark pages and really I kind of only half paid attention because I still don't want a kindle.

I did, recently, TRY the kindle. Jeff downloaded "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" for me. I was going to my first book club and hadn't had a chance to actually go buy the book at a bookstore - so Jeff got it. Last night I used the kindle to read the book. Now the book, I loved it. It did, however, take me a little while to get into it because of whole reading on the screen thing - I don't know, I think I missed the whole having a layout of a physical book. Since the story is told in a series of letters from different people, and it took a while to follow along electronically. In a physical book, I'd be able to kind of glance over pages to get used to it, and while I could go back and forth with ease with the kindle, I still missed having a book.

I love books for various reasons, and I never quite knew how attached I was to having a PHYSICAL book until I used the kindle. My favorite books are completely wrecked. The spine is bent. The pages are bent down. Sometimes they are wavy because I've taken them into a bath where with hot water and bubbles I indulge myself in my two favorite pastimes. Long, hot bubble baths, and books. My favorite books have been read and re-read. I tend to read really quickly. The more I like a book, the faster I read. So re-reading will sometimes let me pick up things I hadn't noticed before. If I'm re-reading Agatha Christie for example, I already know the ending of the mystery and I like to go back and see if I can spot things that were clues that I hadn't seen previously. I like to see how the plot points were laid out ahead of time, waiting for me to puzzle them together. It's always fun. Fannie Flag for example will carry her characters over from book to book and I like seeing how a minor character in one book, becomes the main player in another. I like holding the books and randomly picking a page and starting to read. I like browsing my shelves and seeing what I'm in the mood for. I enjoy going to bookstores and looking at colorful covers, reading backs and pages, sometimes I discover a new author I had never previously considered. I like looking at staff favorites for the same reason. I love physical books so much I am sorely tempted to buy a REAL copy of "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" even though I own it in an electronic version.

There is one thing, if having a kindle gets more people to read, more people to explore different authors, different subjects - well I'm all for it. But for now I think I'll stick to actually owning the book!

Weekend

2010-09-13T12:12:00.002-04:00

Oh what a weekend. What a weekend it was. I worked my part-time gig on Saturday and realized how nice it was to get out and make a little money for the family. I also had lots of anxiety the night before. Kind of that "back to school anxiety". I don't know WHY I get nervous before work, but I do. Maybe I won't remember everything? Maybe they won't like me? All sorts of worries run through my head. But I went, I chatted, my co-worker was lovely and sweet and basically the time really flew - which is always nice. I came home and it was immediate mom mode. Nathan woke up pretty much as soon as I walked in the door and it was time for lunch and everything that goes with lunch. It's figuring out what to make, making it, cutting it into tiny pieces and then FEEDING NATHAN which takes FOREVER. After lunch it was the mad dash to the toy store because of COURSE we didn't have the required birthday present for the birthday party we were going to. Scramble in the store for cute and age appropriate gift, next to the Hallmark store for gift bag, tissue paper and card, and THEN a crazy drive TO the party where Nathan and Jeff had a lovely time in the bouncy house that was set up while I sat and chatted with people. Nathan did have a minor meltdown towards the end (for some reason he gets constipated REALLY easy and I guess he was having one of those moments). Off to home after a quick piece of cake and it was time to give Nathan a bath.

Deep breath. Nathan does NOT like the bath. He wants to stand, he doesn't want his hair washed. basically giving Nathan a bath is a two person deal and it requires lots of patience. He's fine the first 5 minutes or so, but as soon as it's hair washing time, well, meltdown takes place. Saturday it was no different. Nathan had a meltdown. He was trying to stand and Jeff was holding him kind of under his arms, and Jeff had one foot in the tub (Nathan bathes in a Eurotub - plastic tub that fits IN our tub). Well as Nathan stood he made an oh so familiar grunting noise. Before we could blink, Nathan pooped. He pooped in the tub and that's where it became chaotic. Jeff is trying to lift a slippery Nathan out of the poopy tub, and I'm trying to empty the tub of poopy water so I can grab Nathan and DISASTER. I dumped the tub, poopy contents and all, all over Jeff's foot. His sock and sneaker clad foot. Jeff let out a ROAR of protest and I practically threw the now-empty tub across the bathroom as I scooped up the now hysterical Nathan. I don't know HOW Jeff managed to get his foot out of his now-toxic sock and sneaker.. but we put them on the deck to deal with later. As Nathan and Jeff rocked in front of "Wonder Pets" I SCRUBBED the tub. I bleached the tiny Eurotub and I bleached our tub. Repeatedly. I scrubbed and scrubbed. The bad thing? Nathan still needed a bath. Well our new bath has a shower head that can be adjusted, so we pulled it out and gave Nathan his very first shower. A shower that went pretty well and we were even able to wash his hair. The rest of the night was a blur. There were jammies and dinner and bedtime, there were hot showers for me where I attempted to cleanse myself of the picture of poop in the bath, and I was passed out in bed by 9:30pm. It had been a long, long day.

Sunday was a little better. We got some laundry done, some unpacking done, and some stuff put up in the attic. It was non-stop from the moment we woke up until the moment Nathan went to bed, but we felt very accomplished. I switched out some summer clothes for fall clothes, took inventory on what we need for Nathan this fall/winter, and I even mopped some floors. And because there was no repeat of poop in the tub - well let's just call it the best Sunday EVER!!!

get thee behind me Pottery Barn for Kids

2010-09-10T08:56:00.002-04:00

I blame my friend Lisa for taking me to Pottery Barn Kids last night. I saw SO MUCH STUFF I want for Nathan. Right now, I want Curious George sheets and bedding:

And I want a little chair for his room where he can sit and read books. Something like this in chocolate brown:

Soooo cute! Never mind all the room decorations and toys and books and mobiles that they have. I'm telling you, this living within your means sucks. It sucks a LOT!

Dinner

2010-09-08T21:46:00.002-04:00

Dinner tonight:

and

Struggle

2010-09-05T11:59:00.003-04:00

Why oh why is it SO HARD not to give in to temptation? I mean, I KNOW that opening a credit card is a no. I KNOW that if I have a credit card, ANY CREDIT CARD, in my hot little hands that it's a recipe for disaster. Yet I STILL find myself tempted. Tempted to get a credit card. Let me explain. I was in Macy's with my mother last week and I was SORELY tempted to open a Macy's card. I was saying in my head "I need new bedding. I need some new clothes. I need some new towels. I need, I need, I need". And the list just went on and on. I had it all justified in my head on to whyI NEEDED THIS MACY'S CARD! But I didn't do it. Didn't open a new card. I soooo wanted to. I mean.. right now our bedroom is like a maroon color and with our new Queen sized mattress and our sheets are.... turqoise. Cheap sheets from Target I grabbed on sale right after we got the new mattress. It clashes. And I dream fondly of expensive and soft linens. Deep colors and bright patterns and textures. But it's not in the budget right now. And sadly, I know deep in my heart, that getting a credit card will only mean that I go completely and utterly CRAZY in Macy's. First it would be linens. Next would be some new clothes for me. And then... be still my heart.. we would go to shoes. If I'm feeling REALLY FRISKY I would look for a new diaper bag. And then, it would be off to the baby section. There I would lose every ounce of sense I have and Nathan would be getting a wardrobe for the next 10 years. He'd also get a down blanket and comforter because my BABY DESERVES TO BE TOASTY WARM THIS WINTER! He'd get some new toys. Some new shoes. Oh I am fantasizing already.

Be strong, be strong, be strong. Remember, as Oscar Wilde once said "I can resist anything except temptation".

Path to Happiness

2010-09-03T11:12:00.003-04:00

So I was reading on Woman's Day magazine site that starting a collection can be a way to celebrate happiness. It talks about how one woman spends about $20 each time she goes to flea markets or craft fairs getting snow globes - something she collects. She loves the hunt, and getting new globes. I used to collect anything and everything shark. It got a little out of control and I didn't LOVE the pieces I got. Right now I have one ceramic shark wall hanging, and a huge stuffed shark that Nathan has taken over. So no collections right now. I was thinking though, that this is an idea I might be able to get on board with. I'm still in a mess of unpacking boxes and trying to find things for the house, but there is ONE THING I am very excited about. Holidays. I love, love, love holidays. Growing up my family wasn't really into holidays - we have a small family and we never really OUT THERE on holidays. But I LOVE holidays. I want decorations, I want glitter, I want gaudy and tacky blow up ornaments for outside the house. Do I need to add that my husband and father are HORRIFIED by the ideas that I have? But why would they be? What's wrong with this?

People, it's WITCHES AROUND A CAULDRON! They are BLOW UP WITCHES! And they are ANIMATED! I mean... ANIMATED PEOPLE! Never mind that as an English major these witches can be traced back to Macbeth:

Double, double toil and trouble

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble

What could be bad about this on our front lawn? And maybe some light up pumpkins? A few solar skulls?? Jeff thinks our neighbors will hate us, but I love the idea of really decorating the lawn. How fun would this be for Nathan?? Don't even talk to me about what I want to do for Christmas.. that's a whole other can of worms! But lawn decorations for holidays definitely make me happy - so let's see what's in the budget for this year!

BIRTHDAY!

2010-09-01T11:55:00.003-04:00

It's my birthday, it's my birthday, it's my birthday! As a special "Happy Birthday Mama", Nathan slept till 7:30am. Since Nathan has been toying with switching his morning time to the ungodly 5:30am, sleeping till 7:30am is like a dream! I also did a little bit of shopping with my mother last night - she treated me to new sneakers that cost an arm and a leg from Ecco at the mall, and of course a little outfit for Nathan from Baby Gap. Because really, no shopping trip is complete until Nathan has gotten something as well.

Since Jeff and I moved this past Friday we've been unpacking pretty slowly. It's so hard to unpack with Nathan crawling around. He's like a barnacle and if I leave the room or, heaven forbid, use the baby gate to keep him in his new playroom - tears and screams and runny noses abound. So it's one box at a time, and also trips to Target for things like garbage bags and toothbrushes and tons crap that we somehow desperately NEED! Of course we still need to sell our old house so weekends are going to be mostly Jeff doing painting, weeding, and a whole bunch of other chores to make our former home prettier. Fingers crossed!!

Back to my birthday - a new house has been a pretty wonderful present and I'm excited to make this place more a home for us. I'll try and take pictures this weekend and post them!

My Little Boy

2010-08-24T22:19:00.002-04:00

Nathan had his first real haircut about a week ago. At 13 months old he had had his hair trimmed previously, but not a cut. Not a hair style. He still looked like my precious baby. Well, Jeff finally snapped and told me that Nathan was getting a baby mullet and we determined it was time for a real cut. Not just a "trim the hair out of his eyes". A cut.

We took him to Snip-It's in Burlington and the hair stylist was AMAZING. And I say that because Nathan was AWFUL. Now this place is sooo kid oriented. They had little televisions at each station playing cartoons, they had bubbles, they had EVERYTHING! Nathan was still awful. As soon as he sat in the chair and the drape was put around him, he cried. He cried and cried and cried and swatted the hair stylists hand AWAY from him.. the hand that held SCISSORS by the way. Bless her heart, but she was still able to give him the cu test little cut. We'll definitely be going back because Nathan looks ADORABLE.

But at the same time, he looks like a LITTLE BOY. And yes I realize he IS a little boy- he doesn't look like my BABY anymore. It's soooo sad and I'll get ready to post pictures soon so we can all mourn together the idea that my precious angel is... sigh... growing up!

Lack of Sleep, Moving Boxes everywhere and general cranky attitude

2010-08-21T23:06:00.002-04:00

I feel like I am turning into a bitch. Jeff and I (and Nathan and Monty) are moving this up-coming Friday. I'm so excited on one hand, but on the other hand, I am completely overwhelmed and cranky. Our house is tiny. It's tiny and now has BOXES STACKED EVERYWHERE! There are boxes stacked next to the sofa, under the stairs, near our breakfast bar. Boxes are taking up precious inches of space and making this house feel EVEN SMALLER. I am stressed about being READY for the move so I don't sleep. I don't sleep and as a result I am cranky. In fact, I have crossed the line from cranky and gone into full force bitch mode. The only person immune to my bitch mood is Nathan. Let's face it, Nathan can do nothing wrong and even when he's being a terror, I STILL smother him in kisses. But Jeff and Monty? They don't fare as well. Jeff gets snippy answers. Snippy, short answers. Sometimes punctuated with comments about how tired I am thrown in for good measure. Because I want Jeff to SUFFER WITH ME! And poor Monty. Monty gets yelled at. The poor dog has space the size of a postage stamp, and in his defensive there is NOWHERE in the house he can go without being in the way. So it's non-stop "Monty - move" or "Scoot" or "I'm putting Monty outside for the next hour because I cannot deal anymore". Do I need to add that Monty HATES being outside and spends the entire time at the gate waiting to come back in?? It makes me feel soooo guilty, but I have no choice. This is my SANITY we're talking about.

Now this week Nathan has been really, really good with naps. He takes a morning nap around 9:30am and sleeps till like 11:30am. Sometimes he takes an afternoon nap, sometimes he doesn't. Today, however, taking a nap went bye bye. I put Nathan down at 10am. He was EXHAUSTED. For some reason though, maybe because Nathan was like a shark smelling blood in the water and knew that I had only gotten about three hours of sleep, Nathan was NOT napping. We changed his diaper three times. I went up and brought him his pacifier more times than I can recall. I cuddled and kissed him. I got him all snuggly and comfy in his crib and he DID NOT NAP. In fact, he didn't nap until 12pm. It was 2 hours of whining and crying and fussing and Jeff and I arguing about the need to nap. It was NOT pretty. Though our arguing this time did not reach the fevered pitch it could have because we were TOO TIRED TO EFFECTIVELY ARGUE WITH EACH OTHER. We had no energy to fight. Well, I did manage to bitch that I would rather gouge out my eyeballs than watch a wrestling show on television thus sending Jeff into another room as I watched the lovely and always-soothing QVC. But honestly, that's polite for us when we're ready to have at it.

Meanwhile it's now 11:16pm on a Saturday night and guess what? I can't sleep. It's gonna be another long, long night!

Dinner Theatre

2010-08-18T22:33:00.004-04:00

I perform dinner theatre. Yup, untalented me now spends her days dancing and singing and doing just about ANYTHING to keep Nathan both in his highchair AND eating the food I give him. Right now he's starting doing delightful things such as saying "No" and pushing my hand or spoon or sippy cup away. He also LOVES the fact that by throwing food on the floor that Monty will come running. Need I add that Monty is FINALLY excited to have Nathan around? I mean, he gets PEOPLE FOOD NOW! Monty is BEYOND thrilled.. as soon as the highchair comes out Monty is underneath it, drooling, anxious and READY! Now to keep Nathan happy when I'm feeding him is a trial. I'm constantly trying to entertain him, and/or determine if he's saying "NO" because he is done with eating, or "NO" because he just likes to push my hand away and make a mess. So here's what I do:

1. Turn on the music. ANY music! I'm particularly fond of Lazytown and The Fresh Beat Band. Okay, fond is stretching it, but I can only listen to kiddie music for so long so I always need to mix it up a bit.
2. Dance around the highchair. To get the full visual you need to picture me in my standard uniform of yoga pants, pink tank tops, and bare feet that are in desperate need of a pedicure. I could have make-up on, or maybe not. But to keep Nathan entertained I am not above shaking what my mama gave me.
3. Finger food. When I hear "No" - usually what that means is Nathan is tired of me spoon feeding him and he wants to feed himself. So finger food is quickly cut up and put on the tray so Nathan can feed himself, or feed Monty. Really the choice is no longer mine.
4. Sippy cup. In between giving him bites of food off a spoon, I also throw down any distraction I can find. His own spoon, the measuring spoons, bits of waffle, his sippy cup. It all gets tossed down at regular intervals in the hopes I have given him what he wanted.
5. I let Nathan feed me. Jeff just saw this tonight and he thinks it's "disgusting", but it keeps Nathan happy so I do it. Towards the end of the meal I put my face close to his and he gets all smiley and I say "Is that for Mama"? Nathan than grabs whatever happens to be on his tray and shoves it in my face. I let him put it in my mouth and I saw "YUMMY" and make exaggerated chewing motions. The bad thing about this? Nathan's hands START OUT clean, but with the grabbing of food, feeding himself - let's just say it's not a pretty picture. But it keeps him happy and I am so far gone I just don't care that he's putting his grubby hands in my mouth.

I can only pray that nobody SEES the lengths that I go through to get Nathan to eat. But since Nathan STILL prefers to be carried in my arms instead of in his stroller, I have a feeling I'm setting myself up for about 10 years of ongoing mealtime performances. I'll be like the "Cats" of baby entertaining!

Attempt to modify my attitude

2010-08-15T23:21:00.002-04:00

I'm a deeply sarcastic person by nature. I love metal music - the angrier and the more angsty the better. I also love scary movies. Now that I have Nathan I've become aware of the fact that I am responsible for shaping his personality. I know some of his personality will be "nature", but some will be "nurture". I'd like the "nurture" aspect of his personality to be positive. I want him to be happy and confident and self-aware. I want him to be a good person, a kind person, someone who helps people yet has the inner strength to stand up for himself. I want him to be a better version of me. So I found this site about Happy Things and here's a list of things they gave to be happy about:
blue M & M's
crunchy bell peppers
greater self-awareness
the trivium of grammar, logic, and rhetoric - and the quadruvium of geometry, arithmetic, astronomy, and music; the seven liberal arts
Picasso paintings in Barcelona
about one-ninth of any iceberg appears above the water's surface
sun too bright to look at
giant cabbages
blenders
a real general store
self-adhesive stamps
wooden-pegged paneling and ships' nails
helping an old lady cross the street
gangs of crows

It's an interesting list because most of the things that I see on here I've never really given much thought to. I know today I was happy for quite a few reasons:
I actually went OUT on a Friday night. Like OUT out. WITH A FRIEND! We watched two movies (Toy Story 3 and The Expendables - both were excellent in their own different ways), and I ate M & M's and we later went to a local bar where I had the most delicious green apple martini and felt delightfully tipsy afterwards.
Jeff and I didn't fight this weekend - Can I get a WOOT WOOT for this one???
Prune juice is like the nectar of the gods when dealing with a constipated baby. It was like his whole system just cleaned RIGHT OUT! And while being happy about a poopy diaper seems kind of silly - well it beats the alternative of having your child scream and cry because he CANNOT POOP!
My mother in law brought over food this morning so Jeff and I have bagels and bulky rolls and chicken salad and seafood salad and deli meats and cheeses for the next few day. YUM!
Nathan got his first haircut at Snip It's in Burlington and the woman who cut his hair was AMAZING. Nathan cried and cried the ENTIRE TIME and she gave him the most adorable cut and she didn't slice off a finger in the process. A small miracle considering he kept trying to push her hand away.

I've also found that because I now primarily listen to children's music during the day, I've gotten a little more upbeat. I actually really like the following song:

Play Time with Nathan

2010-08-11T21:48:00.002-04:00

Starting to get the hang of the whole "stay at home" thing with Nathan. We have playtime and feeding time, and SOMETIMES there is even..... wait for it.. NAP TIME!!! Oh how I love nap time! Anyway, every single day I feel like Nathan is doing something different, learning, or surprising me with what he can do. Lately, he's obsessed with books. He'll pick out a book and drag it over to me and kind of, well, THROW it at me! I'll say "Do you want me to read your book" and he'll smile and I'll pull him onto my lap and we'll read together. Okay, I'll TRY to read. Nathan has not yet mastered the whole idea of waiting for me to finish reading what is on the page before TURNING the page! And he goes back and forth. Right now tough, he's OBSESSED with a version of "Pat the Bunny" called "Bunny and Friends". Basically Paul and Judy, along with their new friends Gordon and Kay, are looking for bunny and they see a lot of other animals on the farm first. Honestly, I had no idea there even WAS a sequel to "Pat the Bunny" and secretly think it's kind of a lame book - but Nathan LOVES it. He pulls it out of the book shelf to bring to me so I read it. Over and over and over again. And again. And again. I know repetition is good for kids, but my oh my. I keep trying to switch it out for another book, and sometimes I can convince him that "Go Dog Go" is a better choice, but not always.

It is super cute though. Especially when he's sitting on my lap all excited and he stops every now and then and looks back at me. Making sure I'm still there, maybe? But it's adorable when he does it and it absolutely melts me heart.

We are however, VERY excited to move. Baby jail is NOT working for Nathan anymore. And we can't use our exersaucer either since he's figured out how to escape. You have to be with him ALL THE TIME or he does some sort of houdini manuever and when a 13 month old is "exploring", well, that's not a good thing.

Countdown to moving? 16 days!

Knees

2010-08-08T22:28:00.002-04:00

My poor, poor knees. I finished Day 9 of the running program and the whole time my knees ached. From start to finish. What the heck can I do about knee pain?? I know losing weight helps with knee pain, but heck, how can I lose weight when I can't jog without knee pain??? Ugh... oh, and I'd like to add that I effing GAINED weight. Yes, I've GAINED weight while doing my jogging program. It's just unfair people. Really, really unfair. Bah!!!

Rage

2010-08-05T22:00:00.003-04:00

I'm late on this bandwagon but it really, really upsets me. Apparently supermodel Giselle has issued the following verdict:

“Some people here (in the US) think they don’t have to breastfeed, and I think ‘Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?’ I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months.”

Words cannot express how much this angers me. I adore my baby, my son, really my reason for getting out of bed in the morning more than I can ever express. I breastfed Nathan for approximately 3 weeks. It was 3 long, long weeks. I didn't have a problem with latching or milk production, my problem was that Nathan was using me as a pacifier. When I tell you that for 3 weeks I slept for maybe an hour at a time as I sat on the sofa switching Nathan from on breast to the other, I am not lying. I was exhausted. I was beyond exhausted. Me, a die hard insomniac who has gone to work and STAYED AWAKE at her job after only 20 minutes of sleep the night before, was losing her mind. Nathan is a formula fed baby and I still feel guilty about it. Really guilty. Like bad mommy guilt. While on one hand, I know that I made the best decision for me, the other hand is over there just wringing away with guilt. I WISH I could have breast fed Nathan for longer. I WANTED to breast feed Nathan for longer. I couldn't do it. And while I applaud all the mommies out there who are able to do it, I do NOT need some supermodel bitch telling me how awful I am as a parent. And I want to know about the women who cannot breast feed? I have dear friends who tried and tried and just couldn't do it. They are AMAZING mommies. So there should be a LAW that would force them to breastfeed when they physically cannot?? GAH! The whole thing just angers me and once again I wonder why I live in a culture where just because someone is physically attractive that we feel that what they have to say is TRUE and IMPORTANT when in reality they are spewing NONSENSE. GAH! And GAH again!

Thoughts and Randomness

2010-08-04T22:28:00.002-04:00

I've got a lot on my mind lately and none of it really flows, so here it goes!
1.
I'm on Day 7 of my running program. This week is week 2, even though it's week 3. Does that make sense? Well I did the week 1 running program for 2 weeks, and now I'm doing the week 2 running program. It's as follows:
Brisk five-minute warmup walk.
Then alternate 90 seconds of jogging and two minutes of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

I forced my lazy self off the sofa tonight and oh my God. It was HARD. My legs felt like cement for most of the time, and it was very difficult. I did it. I'm proud of myself for doing it - but whew. It's not easier. I'm hoping by the time I get to September that I'm actually not struggling as much.

2.
I'm once again dreaming of new bedding. I've been perusing The Company Store catalogues like a crack addict jonesing for her next fix. Lovely words like "down", "plush", "luxury" and "sensual" are calling to me from the pages. I've also discovered that The Company Store puts out some lovely children's items. Bedding, room decorations, hooded towels. I want it all. I've marked up their catalogue with a lovely black sharpie pen and in my pretend online shopping cart I've got about $500 worth of stuff that I want to get for Nathan all picked out. Once again, this is the reason why I should never own a credit card. Ever. Because all that stuff? It would be mine!

3.
I find it super annoying that no matter how tired I am lately, and even with exercise, I can go to bed and still not be able to sleep. I go to bed around 10:30pm and I still don't sleep till around midnight. To make things even MORE annoying - Jeff comes to bed around 11:30pm and as soon as his head hits his pillow - he's out cold. As an insomniac there is really just about nothing that is more head-banging unfair than seeing your partner blissfully sleeping. It just emphasizes the fact that you.. are NOT sleeping. And that you most likely will NOT be sleeping anytime soon. And yes, I follow all the lovely rules for insomnia. Bed at the same time, getting UP at the same time, no caffeine after a certain hour... the lists never really change and yet they never make a damn bit of difference in my sleep routine. I follow them all to no avail. Insomnia still pops up like that horrible ex-boyfriend you thought was finally gone for good. Oh, do I need to mention that Jeff SNORES?? Thus is the soundtrack of my life.

4.
Nathan has apparently reached the age where other children will hit him. Today, for example, I took him to Little Bears. It's a playcenter on Rte 1 where you can let your child run around and play. They have plush sofas for moms and dads to hang out, they have coffee and tea, and they have a TON of toys. Since Nathan is so little, I can't really just let him roam around and have fun while I peruse an US Weekly. I instead pretty much follow him around. At one point he was playing with a ball near another little boy who was only a few weeks older. I think around 15 months. This little boy wanted the ball too. His solution? He hit Nathan. About three times. Nathan cried and I scooped him up and the other mother was mortified. It's not her fault, it's not even the little boy's fault. It's the age, it's what they do. A few minutes later? That same little boy picked up the ball and threw it at Nathan's head where it bounced off him. I picked Nathan up and moved him to a different area of the room right after that. It's frustrating because I don't really know what to do. The other mother was clearly embarassed. The kids are young enough that you really can't ask them to apologize - they don't understand that, but I still didn't like seeing my precious baby get smacked around. So moving him seemed to be the best option. I guess I wasn't expecting these sorts of issues already. For some reason I was thinking that happened later, like around 4. Apparently I was wrong. I guess for now I just have to be even more vigilant about watching Nathan when he's playing near other children.

5.
Jeff and I are getting ready to move and we've started cleaning out our basement. That resulted in about 4 bins of trash. How in the WORLD do we manage to fit so much STUFF into such a small house? It boggles the mind really! Next weekend we're planning on hitting up our shed - our shed that we haven't touched in like 4 years. May the force be with us!!!

Attitude Adjustment

2010-07-30T23:08:00.002-04:00

There are days when I forget just how lucky, how blessed, how looked after I am. I'm not a naturally "glass if half full" person - I tend to be sarcastic and always kind of looking "for the catch" so to speak. And I forget on occasion, that I am privileged. There are days when I'm feeling like I don't love myself, that Jeff and I are sooo strict with our budget and money can be tight, that boy where are the days that I could buy whatever I wanted (thank you American Express!!!) and do whatever I wanted. But I just watched a Dateline episode about hunger in Ohio and it featured this one food bank that services 3,000 people monthly:

http://www.friends-n-neighbors.org/

It also told the stories of different families and how they are struggling. One family was a young mom with three children, she was young. So young, 21 years old I believe with a three year old, a two year old, and a one year old. And she was living in a van. A VAN! I almost sobbed when I realized she had a baby boy as old as my own beloved and precious Nathan and she was sleeping in a van. In the winter. She had no child support, no money coming, and she acknowledged she'd made some bad choices. It just got me thinking. Your starting game, the way you enter life, can either make you or break you. She had no family to help her. She had nothing. Her children's father - nothing. While I sniffle and watch her story I think about how unfair it is that I have so much, and she has so little. My own baby boy has so many toys I CYCLE THEM OUT so he doesn't get overwhelmed. He has clothes and food (need I say that I even spend more on ORGANIC FOOD because it's supposed to be better for him?) and he has really everything his heart could desire. This poor mom was making her own diapers for her baby boy out of underpants stuffed with a dishtowel. It breaks my heart on so many levels. I know Jeff and I are lucky in that we have family who have and will stand by us. That if the worst happened, we would have a home. We would have a MULTITUDE of homes to choose from among family members who would gladly take us in. If we were hungry, we have family who could, and would, feed us. It's gut wrenching. I can sit here and get angry that this girl, who admittedly knew of birth control and still had three children, yet I ache for her. I ache for her children. Children who are not getting the head start that Nathan is getting. Children who might possibly wind up in similar situations as their mother.

It made me think that I need to definitely adopt a more positive attitude in life. To remember that I may not have had the easiest life at times, but that I am still lucky. Very, very, very lucky.

Marriage and having a baby

2010-07-29T07:52:00.002-04:00

Why is it that NOBODY tells you that having a child, ideally the most wonderful even in your life, is also the HARDEST thing on your marriage??? This past year Jeff and I have grown a LOT as a couple, and it has not been easy. We have bickered, we have snapped, we have argued and we have tried to claw each others' eyes out in a fit of rage. Okay, the eye thing hasn't happened - yet, but we have fought more with each other this last year than we did the entire 4 years we were together previously. Why does nobody warn you of this? I mean, not that I would have BELIEVED it... because OBVIOUSLY Jeff and I are a SUPERIOR couple who NEVER argue or act short and snippy with each other. Ever. We also never do any of these other things:
Roll our eyes
Interrupt
Say something sarcastic
Ignore the other person while tending to their pretend farm on Facebook

Much like Nathan now acting like a holy terror in restaurants, we have had to face facts that there were times when we would gladly smother the other person and laugh hysterically while doing it. Hurt feelings abound and we've worked hard to get past that. I'd say we are about 80% better than we were a short year ago. We're getting more sleep, and we've examined the way we argue. Ways we can disagree without hurting each others' feelings. We're not perfect. We are not superior. We're very, very human. It's definitely a work in progress over here!

Eating Crow

2010-07-25T20:25:00.003-04:00

Nathan is a bear in restaurants. I think I've referenced this before, but let me explain this fully. Previously, Nathan was a JOY in restaurants. We would pack a few toys, some board books, and some snacks and Nathan was fine. He would eat a few bites of whatever we were eating, he would shake his rattle, and he would flip through "Pat the Bunny". People would tell us how WONDERFUL he was in restaurants. That he was a PLEASURE. And Jeff and I would just grin and grin in response. OF COURSE he was wonderful in restaurants. He was a perfect baby. Oh, and Jeff and I were a SUPERIOR parents. Nathan was fabulous and well behaved in restaurants BECAUSE WE WERE SHINING EXAMPLES OF PARENTING! There were no tantrums, no screaming, no throwing of toys. We accepted all the praise without hesitation. It just seemed so obvious that this was all due to our high skills in parenting.

Now. Nathan is NOT GOOD in restaurants. He whines. He throws toys, sippy cups, snacks, books and whatever else he can get his hands on to the floor. Repeatedly. If for some reason he is not content with throwing toys to the ground he will throw himself backwards and cry. He also tries to climb out of his highchair. If one of us picks him up, he will try to climb us. Let me tell you how lovely it is when he uses the extra, ahem, pudge in my belly as a FOOTHOLD to climb up my shoulders. It's great!! So glad that my fat has a PURPOSE! Sometimes, just for fun and to shake things up a bit, he will let out an ear-splitting screech. You know, in case there is someone at another table perhaps contemplating the joy of parenthood at some future date. Nathan is just doing his part in making sure EVERYONE is scrambling for their birth control.

Apparently Jeff and I are not the shining paragon examples of parenthood that we had thought. Oh, and think of all the money we're going to save because we don't dare take him to a restaurant until he's 18 years old!

Day 2 with Coach to 5k

2010-07-22T22:33:00.002-04:00

Wow that was hard. I did the same routine as day 1 and it was kind of hard counting the time in my head. I'm sure I wasn't exact, but at least I did it. It was hard, hard to do the jogging and the walking and I had to force myself to even get off the sofa to go in the first place. But I did it. Go me!! I don't like working out, I hate it. But I do feel better when I am active so I'm trying to make a point to do this. My question is this - I always read about these great workout endorphins people get from working out. I never get this. Ever. I always hate it, I always go at it too hard at first and quit after a month or so. Does anyone EVER get the "runners' high"? Anyone? Anyone at all??

Day 1

2010-07-20T22:38:00.003-04:00

It was day 1 of the "Coach to 5K" training program. This is the program I followed:

Brisk five-minute warm up walk.
Then alternate 60 seconds of jogging and 90 seconds of walking for a total of 20 minutes.

I'm not going to lie. The first 60 seconds of jogging sucked. I did that first interval and thought "I'm going to have to walk the rest of the time". I am NOT in shape. At all. But I did it. I did the whole 20 minutes. In fact, I think I did 25 minutes because it was hard to time it perfectly around my neighborhood. I did it. Now I just need to KEEP DOING IT. Because it's the keeping it up bit that is hard. I've never QUITE made exercise habit. Oh, I did once when I was a senior in college, and when I belonged to Healthworks gym in Boston. I actually went multiple times during the week and attended classes and EXERCISED. It was never fun for me.. but I did it. Those days have long past and I'm more in the habit of starting strong and then dying out in a blaze of pure laziness. I've got to do three of these workouts a week, and they get more intense week by week... so two more times this week and we'll see if I'm ready to graduate to the next intensity. I'm also curious to see how I feel tomorrow. I'll keep you all posted!

Poor, poor child

2010-07-19T22:52:00.002-04:00

Poor Nathan is constipated. And if you don't wish to know about my child and his bathroom issues, please feel free to stop reading right now. I feel sooo bad because since Sunday he has been straining and he gets all tense and he SCREAMS and CRIES when he has to go to the bathroom and it is HORRIBLE to watch. My poor, poor child is so constipated that he can't do what he needs to do and he just strains and cries. I've called the nurse twice. Once on Sunday, and once today. We've got him on all the "P" fruits. Pears, pineapples, plums, prunes, and peaches. I even went out and got him Fiber One yogurt per the nurse. He's got his sippy cup with water and yet he's still making horrible noises when he needs to go to the bathroom. How in the WORLD do you explain this to your child? He doesn't understand WHY he hurts, just that he hurts. And he holds out his little arms and cries for "mama" when he's hurting and there's not a damn thing I can do other than change his diet and monitor him and hold him and try and soothe him when he cries. Why isn't THIS in the parenting manual?? And if it is, how in the WORLD did I miss it???

Naivete

2010-07-18T22:10:00.004-04:00

I was very, very naive when I was younger. In some ways, I still am. But when I first entered college I was really, really naive. I knew there were things like homelessness, prostitution and things along those lines - but I didn't KNOW. They all seemed so far away, abstract ideas instead of reality. When I first started college in Boston I can't even tell you how much money I gave away. I felt AWFUL seeing people who were homeless. People who looked desperate and hungry and were standing in horrible weather like rain and snow. It broke my heart. I also really didn't get the idea that things were not always what they seem. I still kind of have trouble with that idea, but I've gotten better. An example? When I was nineteen I thought about modeling. Now, I never really thought I was beautiful, but I thought I was pretty and I had a boyfriend at the time who thought I could make it as one. Not a supermodel mind you, but things like catalogue work. I went to an agency and they told me to come back when I lost twenty pounds (I never went back!) and I remember reading an ad asking for "lingerie models". Now at nineteen I was naive enough to think that it would be just modeling. The store was located in Revere, and apparently if you spent enough money on lingerie, one of the models would model your purchase for you. I remember being slightly confused by this because I couldn't imagine spending money at the store and wanting a girl to model my purchases. It just didn't add up and I couldn't wrap my brain around it. So I figured that the people who wanted this service were looking for kind of fit models. To see how things would fit if they saw it on a similar girl. That there might be some "hanky panky" involved, never occured to me. I actually called the place and told the guy on the phone my measurements (approximate, because I really had no idea) and he wanted me to come in for an interview. I was to bring lingerie. And no, this did not raise any red flags for me. I thought it made sense and I was more comfortable with bringing my own stuff. Before I went though, I proudly told my boyfriend at the time about my interview. To say that he "flipped out" would be a huge understatement. He freaked on me. Told me that it was pretty much prostitution and that the whole thing was NOT GOOD. I never went on the interview.

What brought this up? I was driving to Revere today and actually SAW THE STORE! I saw the store in a shady little area of Revere with neon lights around the window and all sorts of, well, not really NICE lingerie displayed. I got to thinking, what if I had gone on the interview? What if I, horrors, had TAKEN THE JOB?? How would my life be now? How would it be different? On one hand, being sheltered protects you. You don't expect things like that. But on the other hand, it can be bad because you don't expect things like that. You're not prepared when confronted with perhaps the not so nice areas of life. I'm just grateful for all the things I've gone through in life and how I am today!

State of Mind

2010-07-14T11:25:00.003-04:00

I haven't been feeling like myself lately. I've been wearing a lot of yoga pants and not really taking the time to do my make-up and the such. So last week I got my hair trimmed and I purchased some new make-up for myself. Which btw, why is it I can spend $50 at Sephora and walk out with only two tiny items?? Just wondering. It doesn't stop me from going there, but it blows my mind each time. I got some new bronzer, some highlighter for around my eyes, and some lovely samples. One of the samples is a radiance serum I've been using at night, and also a kind of primer for before my bronzer. It's silly, but just getting these products and using them on a regular basis has made me feel better about myself. I've started "doing my face" each morning and it's definitey helping my self-esteem.

I wonder why it is that doing something so seemingly small would help so much. I guess it all comes down to taking the time for yourself, making yourself a priority. I also want to work on getting rid of this baby weight and I was checking out this website:
http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml

Now I am NOT a runner. In fact, I loathe most forms of exercise. I tend to be someone who starts out strong and then kind of lets it all go. But I'm getting older. I'm turning 36 and I have a child. I need to start treating myself a little better, and getting healthy. I want to model a good lifestyle for Nathan and I want him to be physically active as well. The first week looks doable.. working out 3 times a week for 20 minutes. That's not a lot. I'm going to give it a go and see what happens.

Hopefully these small things - taking better care of myself, making time to work out and put on make-up and treat myself well will help my rather sad and cranky state of mind! Fingers crossed!

EWWWWWW Moment

2010-07-11T22:30:00.005-04:00

Dear Lord, I feel dirty just reading this ad. If you can't read it, it says "It's nice to have a girl around the house". And the man is STANDING ON A GIRLS HEAD. Yes people, he is STANDING ON HER HEAD which appears to be ATTACHED TO A TIGER SKIN RUG. It's Tiger with Girl Head Rug and it's an advertisement for PANTS. PANTS people. Do I need to ad it's for MAN PANTS??? No, I don't think I do. I cannot believe, nay, I REFUSE to believe that this was real. Sadly, it was.

Attempts to Eat at Restaurant

2010-07-09T17:30:00.003-04:00

Nathan used to be a joy at a restaurant. As a little baby he would just gaze around at everyone and hang out. Even a month ago he would sit in his highchair and eat his stars and play with his rattle or his book "Pat the Bunny". We would feed him some bits from our plate and he would laugh and be soooo good. Everyone would remark on it. Now though, he's a complete bear. For example, today Jeff and I went to Faneuil Hall to pick up Jeff's debit card (he'd accidentally left it at the bar the night before when singing karaoke). We'd decided to make a day of it and we went to the Hard Rock Cafe because it was air conditioned for lunch. We'd made sure that Nathan had had lunch before we left (little bits of cheese, some fruit, and some chicken) and we brought a bottle and his stars with us to help keep him entertained. Well, Nathan was NOT having it. He squirmed and fussed. He threw himself backwards and let out screech after screech.

Suddenly Jeff and I were "THOSE PEOPLE". You know, the people in a restaurant with their holy terror children who were ruining the lunch experience of everyone around them. The people were you turn to your eating companion and make a snarky remark about how their child is a poster child for birth control. It was GREAT! Jeff and I took turns trying to entertain him while we waited for our lunch. Really we waited MAYBE 10-15 minutes, but it felt like an ETERNITY. We gave him a bottle. We gave him his stars. We attempted to read his book to him. We played with his rattle and butterfly toy. One by one everything was pushed away with a disgusted face by Nathan and thrown on the floor. When our food arrived we SHOVED the food in, barely tasting it as we continued to try and entertain Nathan. At one point I walked around the restaurant with Nathan and pointed out the different items in the gift shop. I made a special point of showing him the stuffed teddy bears and asked why he was being such a bear himself. His response of "Yeah" was not a satisfactory answer.

Basically what would have been a nice,leisurely, and fun lunch for Jeff and I was turned into a fast food experience as we crammed food into our mouths and walked around with Nathan in turns. No talking with each other. No laughing. It was all Nathan, all the time. So Nathan and restaurants lately are not good times. Three times now I've had to pick him up and either take him out of the restaurant all together due to some sort of tantrum, or we've eaten so fast that we barely tasted our food.

I really hope this is a phase because for now we will not be going back to any restaurants with Nathan anytime soon!

laughing my ass off

2010-07-08T17:33:00.001-04:00

If you haven't read this yet, oh my God please go to the following link:
http://www.familybiking.com.tw/lost_cat.html

Apparently it's a true story and I was dying laughing because even I, with my limited knowledge of computers, could do what this woman was asking and why she felt the need to hit up her graphic design department for this I'll never know.

Birth Story

2010-07-08T11:06:00.003-04:00

Nathan's first birthday was this past Saturday. June 26th to be exact. I've seen on other blogs people writing about birth stories and since I'm feeling all amazingly sentimental I thought I would write a little bit about my own.

First things first, I went to the hospital, three, count em', three times with false labor. What nobody tells you is that "false labor" IS labor, they just don't want the baby to come yet. Each time I was sent home. I can't tell you how awful that was. Going in, excited and panic-struck that TODAY you would have your baby. And to be sent home with NO BABY. It was awful. The fourth time I was only a day before my due date and I went to see my doctor who told me I was to go to the hospital IMMEDIATELY since I was having contractions. I didn't believe him and we went home, took care of Monty, packed a bag and leisurely went to the Labor and Delivery unit. We get there and I go through the sadly, very familiar routine of being hooked up to the monitors and getting the johnny on and lying back and thinking, whatever. I'm just going to be sent home again. See, the pain was not really pain at this point. My water had not broken and it was just mildly uncomfortable. This went on for oh... twenty hours. At one point the nurse offered to give me a mild sedative so I could sleep for a bit (around midnight if I remember correctly) and I said BRING IT ON. I dozed off and on for the rest of the night. Jeff was there the entire time and only left to take Monty out and feed him. I remember thinking at one point "This isn't that bad. On TV they show women screaming and cursing and really this isn't bad at all". In the early morning hours they started me on pitocin to help speed up the contractions. And they broke my water.

That's when the pain started. They broke my water and oh my goodness. I can't even describe the horrible, horrible pain. I didn't scream, I didn't yell. I whimpered a lot. And told Jeff "I don't think I can do this" and whimpered some more. And told Jeff that I didn't WANT to do this anymore and that I changed my mind. Jeff very helpfully told me it was too late for that. To which I whimpered some more. I had signed up for an epidural and when they finally paged the doctor, it would take thirty minutes for him to get there. I remember crying. Because thirty minutes seemed like an ETERNITY and I didn't see how I could possibly wait thirty minutes. I felt like there was no rest, no time, it was just constant pain. The contractions all melted together into one big cycle of agony and I think my only thought was "GET THIS BABY OUT OF ME" even as I sobbed. I know some women have beautiful thoughts of meeting their baby during this time period, but I wasn't one of them. I wasn't howling at the moon, but I was so focused on the pain I really couldn't think of anything else. I got the epidural, and honestly, it kind of numbed the pain. I guess I thought the epidural would take away ALL THE PAIN, and it really didn't. And pushing started. I was so lucky that it was MY doctor who was there for the delivery. My OB is wonderful and fabulous and I was insanely lucky he was on duty that day. I pushed and pushed and rested and pushed and I felt like I was in some sort of weird "Whack a Mole" game. I'd hear "There's the head... and he's gone". I'd push again, same thing. I distinctly remember my doctor saying "this isn't working" and I felt some pressure and pushed again. A few minutes later Nathan was born.

Out Nathan came all slippery and they lay him on my chest. I remember being stunned as I looked at him. Tears came, and I was just stunned. I couldn't say anything, I couldn't move. There was a baby on my chest and my heart felt like it was going to explode. A second later they picked him up and weighed him and started to clean him up and already my gaze focused on him like a laser. Where was my baby? I barely paid attention to anything else because my baby was gone and I wanted him back. He was so little and precious and I was still stunned. I couldn't find the words to describe the feeling. It was sheer terror that I had this beautiful baby and was now expected to keep him alive and well fed and loved and all of that, and it was a sure certainty that I would kill anyone who hurt him. It was like a narrowing of your world until the only thing left in my vision was Nathan.

A year and a few days later I still feel afraid that I am not the best mommy I could be. I still doubt myself. I am more confident with him and getting him to laugh, hearing him say "yeah" is the best feeling in the world. He is 23 pounds and 30.5 inches. He is MY baby and he is wonderful and perfect and amazing and I cannot imagine my life without him. Happy Birthday Nathan!

Seriously Moment

2010-07-03T20:04:00.001-04:00

Jeff actually asked me this. Tonight. While we were EATING DINNER!

Jeff: "Is Nathan still alive?"

I stared at him in shock. ALIVE?? Is NATHAN STILL ALIVE??

Jeff: "Are you actually going upstairs and checking on him"?

Why yes, yes I AM now RUNNING up the stairs to indeed make sure that NATHAN IS STILL ALIVE! Holy crap! We laughed about it because, yes, it was silly. No, he didn't mean to ask that, it was apparently a "slip of the tongue" according to Jeff - which by the way, he said "slip of the tongue" and I erupted into hysterical giggles that could not stop even after Jeff told me he was "done with me" and I was to "not talk to him for the rest of the night".

But yes, Nathan is still alive. Thanks for asking!

American Express Card

2010-06-29T08:10:00.002-04:00

Dear American Express,
Thank you SO much for sending me a new card in the mail. I am guessing this is your subtle way of telling me that I should GO SHOPPING!

And American Express, you have NO IDEA how much I would dearly love to obey your hint. There are SOOOOOO many things that I want to buy that I've been looking at for quite awhile. There's a new stroller for Nathan, clothing, shoes, maybe a few pieces of jewelry, books, and even some home improvement things like a new front door and new screen door. Really, my list of wants just goes on and on and on.

Unfortunately, and it pains me to say this, I cannot give in to the incredibly temptation to just le loose on the the biggest shopping spree known to man. See, I'm trying to do this wonderful thing called "living within my means". I know, it sounds insane. Truly insane. And I realize how crazy I sound by even attempting to do such a thing. But as an adult, a parent and wife. I find that I need to think of things beyond the immediate gratification of the here and now. I've got responsibilities.

Sadly, this is the end American Express. But don't be sad, we've had a lot of good times, right? Together we've purchased outfit after outfits, we've loaded our cart with make-up and books. We even once purchased $300 black sling back shoes on a WHIM! Ahhhh... good times American Express, good times. I'm getting a little tear just thinking about it and find that saying goodbye is very difficult. But goodbye it is.

Thanks for the memories American Express!

Needs and Desires

2010-06-23T23:24:00.005-04:00

At what point did I decide that it was WAY more exciting to look for things for Nathan than for myself. My Amazon wishlist used to be filled with books and movies that I wanted, now, it's filled with things like this:

Yes that is a Jeep stroller, and I want it. Bad. I also want the following:

That's a stroller organizer. I know, it's so exciting I don't know how I stop myself from jumping up and down. A STROLLER ORGANIZER!!! Be still my beating heart - be still.

Don't get me wrong, I still have books and things on my Amazon list, but it's starting to get filled with children's books I want for Nathan, toys for Nathan, and ORGANIZING THINGS for Nathan. I am not going to lie, for my birthday I am asking for an Old Navy gift card so I can get some goodies for myself - and also so I can get some things for Nathan. Is that so wrong??

Means of Entertaining Myself

2010-06-22T22:53:00.003-04:00

A former roommate and I used to entertain ourselves by watching QVC and HSN. We'd drink lots and lots of wine and turn on the television and just about DIE laughing as we made up our own little story/banter/etc... for what callers really SHOULD say about the product on hand. The creepiest show we watched and loved? Any segment that included dolls. You know, those porcelain collector dolls that cost like $50 and up? Those dolls creep me out. I had a friend WAY back when who had a doll in her room that was a lamp. That doll scared the crap out of me - it had those eyes that seemed to move and follow you across the room. I swear I would sleep over and be too spooked to sleep for fear the doll would suddenly come to life. The doll looked a little like this one:

Except picture this doll with a lampshade sticking out of her head. Creepy, right?

Back to my roommate and I. On a few occasions we would be sooo, what's the word I'm looking for? Happy. We'd be sooo happy that we would attempt to CALL the number online and try and convince the operator to put us through to the show host. It never worked. I don't even know what we would SAY to the host, and I don't think it mattered. It was the IDEA of getting on the air, drunk, to say something silly about a creepy doll up for sale that would send us over the edge into hysterical laughter. And there you have it - more proof that I can entertain myself over absolutely nothing!

Recent Movie Viewing Experience

2010-06-19T12:48:00.003-04:00

Jeff and I actually managed to stay awake one night and watch, from start to finish, "Sorority Row". See trailer here:

Anyway, I would like to say that I went to college - and I even dated a guy in a fraternity for my ENTIRE FOUR YEARS at college. And went to LOTS of fraternity parties. None of them, NONE of them, looked like what is being described above. No girls wearing lingerie. No girls wearing pajamas with NO BACKSIDE. No hot tubs where people had sex in BROAD DAYLIGHT where other people are walking around because NOBODY NOTICES THAT. It's just such an odd version of college. I did some crazy things in college - but wearing lingerie in public and having sex in a hot tub in the FRONT YARD of a house were not in that experience. I also didn't play elaborate pranks on a friends' brother where it required him thinking that his girlfriend was DEAD and thus needed to chop up her body in little pieces. I would like to add though, if I DID do these things and my boyfriend at the time, who graduated top of his class and was absolutely crazy about me and FOUND OUT I had assisted in killing my "best friend" and thus tried to take out everyone who was a threat to me in a series of gruesome ways- well he just might be a keeper!!

Perusing of Craigslist

2010-06-18T21:27:00.002-04:00

Wow. This job. Wow. Apparently SOMEONE has had a VERY, VERY bad experience in some of the people they have hired in the past. Let's take a look:

PART TIME & FLEXIBLE DOGGY DAY CARE WORKER (WITH POSSIBILITY OF FULL TIME &/OR MGMT - IF DESIRED.) DO reply if you are:
• Mature, responsible, & reliable with a strong work ethic
• Willing to work holidays & wk-ends (required)
• Have your own reliable vehicle (in the winter as well)
• comfortable working around 30-50 dogs daily
• willing to learn dog behavior & training methods
• looking to work 10-35 hours a week that are flexible
• looking for a long term job (3-10 years) that you take pride in the quality, not compromises, your work ethic reflects
• A Team player (this is a pack environment and we work together as a team)
• Don’t mind CLEANING, CLEANING, CLEANING (mop, sweep, laundry, pick up dog waste, etc…)
• A Dedicated, hard worker
• A self motivated individual that can complete projects on your own
• Able to Stand, walk, play up to 8 hours a day – able to lift 50 lbs.
• Computer skills, customer service & Management Experience a plus
• A Dog Lover
• Comfortable using a washer/dryer, vacuum, power washer, etc. AND use them correctly and take care of them & put them back when you are done.
• You like working with dogs but understand that it is a lot work and not standing around petting them.
• You like working indoors & outdoors and get a lot of satisfaction looking around and taking pride in your work.
• Don’t mind scooping poop & mopping up after a large amount of dogs
• Willing to mop, do laundry and clean every day
• Look, act and treat others as a professional
• Efficient, have a good work ethic
• If you are flexible with constant changes in priorities depending on weather, needs and other things.
• Good availability and would like a part time job that you can stay at for a long time
• Are looking for a part time job that can turn into full time for the right person
• Are willing to work part time to start, turn into full time & eventually into a management position.
• Are looking for a long term part time job.
Do NOT reply if:
• You are not self-motivated
• Adequate is good enough because it isn't here
• You are not comfortable with video surveillance and clients who work for the various law enforcement agencies •
You get nervous about complete civil and criminal background check
• You do not have job and character references that are not friends or related to you
• You do not have a resume
• You do not have an abundance of common sense
• You are not available holidays & weekends
• You are not able to look around and see what needs to be done without being told
• You can't lift light and heavy loads. This work entails light and heavy labor.
• If you don't like taking direction from a woman
• If you do not love dogs
• If you ever forget to check before opening/closing any doors
• If you cannot remember that safety comes first over anything and everything
• If you have any issues with reorganizing, unloading dog food deliveries, carrying things
• If you have any problem working quickly - efficiently while getting the job done completely and correctly.
• If a job you undertake needs to be done twice because the first time was not good enough.
• If you feel your way is the only way; conversely need to be instructed every step
If you do not include a resume & cover letter with your experience & why I should hire you.
• If you are not consistently on time
In other words, I'm looking for a long-term employee, part time with flexible hours whose character, integrity, work ethics, strength and commitment are not in question. We are looking for part time employees that want to stay part time and part time employees that want to grow into full time and management positions. If you are looking for an exciting career working with an amazing group of dogs and you meet the above requirements, please send a resume and cover letter detailing your experience and why you believe you would be a good fit with our organization. Must have reliable vehicle, good character & attitude, loyalty and no "issues." Subject to background check and random checks.

My oh my. HOLY SHIT is all I'm saying. This is for a DOGGIE DAYCARE JOB! But I'm sensing some hostility here. A LOT of hostility. I'm thinking this woman has had a LOT of bad employees. I particularly like the "no issues" requirement along with being videotaped at all times and being subject to random checks. That sounds a lot like a PRISON to me, NOT a place I would care to work. I would like to state that I can't imagine ANYONE going through the ad and thinking "Yes, that works for me" and then getting to something like "If a job you undertake needs to be done twice because the first time was not good enough." and going "well CRAP.. I DO suck at just about any job and EVERYTHING I do has to be re-done afterwards. I better not apply for this job!" I'm tempted to send in a resume and write a cover letter detailing my "issues" just for fun!

Dislike for Children's Music

2010-06-17T22:27:00.002-04:00

I am not a big fan of children's music. In preparation of Nathan being born, Jeff downloaded songs that were lullabies done to popular songs. There is a LULLABY version of "Stairway to Heaven" that he actually PAID MONEY FOR. Ugh. I hate all of those songs. We do, however, like to play some children's music for Nathan when we're playing with him, or while we're giving him lunch. It's also HYSTERICAL to see him kind of bop along to the music and I need to remember to take a video of him doing this because it cracks me up just thinking about it.
Where was I? Yes - Children's music. Jeff and I are trying to find different children's songs since we're pretty tired of "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "She's Coming Round the Mountain". What did we find?? Well Barenaked Ladies have a while children's CD and one of my favorite songs of theirs is this:

Hysterical! It cracks me up every time we listen to it, and now we're on the hunt for more music and CD's that have music that's kind of adult friendly as well. Please feel free to send in suggestions, and no, I am not interested in Raffi!

Twilight - yes, I still loathe it

2010-06-16T07:06:00.003-04:00

This article explains my issues with Twilight loathing a LOT better than my ranting ever could so I'm posting the link:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/snow-white-doesnt-live-here-anymore/200911/why-middle-aged-woman-loathes-twilight-encore

It lists 5 reasons for not liking Twilight - and the bad writing is just one reason. My favorite reason for not liking Twilight? The author writes here:

3. We should be appalled by Edward because Edward takes away Bella's keys to her very own car saying "You're intoxicated by my very presence" whereupon she says--wait for it--"There was no way around it; I couldn't resist him in anything."
Fifty years of the women's movement and that's what we get: "I couldn't resist him in anything"?
How nuts is this? Lucy Ricardo showed more backbone! Lambchop the Puppet showed more backbone than this "Lamb" does!
How about if Bella kept her own keys--and her own integrity--and drove away from the narcissistic bastard?

I have to agree that my main problems with Twilight is how Bella becomes a doormat for her boyfriend/husband. How she has no life, no personality, no desire beyond him. He is EVERYTHING to her, and while I understand the romance idea of having your love being the number one thing in your life - it's not healthy. Especially when your chosen one is a man who is dead, sparkles in daylight and stalks you obsessively while at the same time squashing your normal sexual desires. This is DEFINITELY not a man I'd want to spend an hour with, never mind an eternity.
Rant over! ;-)

Feeling Bad

2010-06-14T16:48:00.002-04:00

Sometimes Facebook makes me feel bad. Well, not really BAD, but kind of sad. I read posts and I see people and for the most part I enjoy it. I do wonder though at times if all this "connection" is a little bit like a lie. Walk with me for a minute - I read the posts on peoples' lives, see the pictures, and it's wonderful to be back in touch with people and to see what's going on with their lives. But sometimes it feels like a false connection. I don't REALLY know what's going on with some of these people. We aren't REALLY connected. And other times I read the posts and see the pictures and don't feel the need to communicate any further because I just read what was going on in their lives. Why should I call? And that's kind of lazy of me. It's letting a true friendship slip away in a pool of lazy. There are also posts that I read and I wonder if people are truly as happy and grateful as they say. One person on my friend list is ALWAYS having the best day. She has the best kids, the best husband, she got flowers from the best husband, her baby slept through the night and didn't wake up fussing, she's making a scrumptious dinner for her perfect family and all is well. And I am jealous. My life, however awesome it may be, is definitely not filled with perfection. My living room is small and I can't play with Nathan in it. It smells like dog and I can't vacuum because Nathan is scared of the noise the cleaner makes. Laundry is perpetually either folder and stacked SOMEWHERE, or needs to be done. But never where it BELONGS in the dresser drawers. Jeff is fabulous, but there are times when we snap at each other and misunderstand each other, or are just so tired we sit next to each other and can barely form a sentence. There are NO FLOWERS (though to be fair, I DID tell Jeff that I thought flowers were a waste of money and not to get them - but still). And don't get me started on dinner. So happy-filled posts, which while lovely to read, sometimes make me feel inadequate. Like I should be feeling differently. Should do things DIFFERENTLY. Should have a different view on life. The pessimist in me wants to know why her posts are always so HAPPY. Is she TRULY this happy all the time? And if so, can I have whatever she has because I need that badly. Or is she very conscious of what she posts about her family? It could be a little of both? The point being - I'm jealous. I try and change my own attitude, to be more positive and cheery, and I can do it - up to a point. I consider myself a realist - I am NOT an optimist. And I have a slightly different sense of humor that relies heavily on sarcasm. Terminally upbeat posts are not my style (in case you haven't noticed!). I think I would be more appreciative of peoples' different ideas of posting on Facebook if I didn't, oh, LOOK AT FACEBOOK ALL DAY LONG! I will also try and be a little more positive! And call my friends more!

Dog

2010-06-12T16:40:00.002-04:00

He's staring at me. Right now Monty and I are engaged in some sort of bizarre staring contest where he's been STARING AT ME for the past 10 minutes. Just standing here, staring at me. I'm ignoring him because he's already been out, and it isn't time for dinner. But yet he is STILL STARING AT ME. And I'm not going to acknowledge him. He WANTS me to acknowledge him. He WANTS me to give in and get up and let him out and feed him, but I am not going to be swayed this time. Monty is FINE! There is NO REASON for him to be staring at me other than just wanting to MAKE ME INSANE. I think he's trying to see if I snap. I really and truly do. I think that this is running through his head "Bitches. I used to be the baby, ME! I AM the baby. Now they've brought home that really small person and I am not getting the attention that is so deservedly MINE. Bitches. I'm going to stare at my mother until she acknowledges me".

But I am NOT going to give in. Even though he's been staring at me for 15 minutes now.. I am NOT GOING TO GIVE IN. Oh, and that sound you hear in the far off distance - it's me screaming.

Conversation with Nathan

2010-06-08T09:26:00.002-04:00

No, No Nathan. See, if you are crying and wiggling and screaming your little head off I CANNOT change your diaper. And since the whole process of changing your diaper, primarily the LYING YOU DOWN ON THE CHANGING PAD has suddenly become a big no no for you - you would think that you would want the process to go smoothly. And quickly. Especially since it seems to make you soooo incredibly unhappy. But mommy can NOT change your diaper quickly if you are wriggling like a ferret on crack. And if you happen to add SCREAMING to your repertoire, well, the whole changing the diaper thing takes a lot longer than it really should. See how mommy is constantly trying to distract you during the process with singing and toys? And see how she struggles to get you all cleaned up because you keep trying to flip over? Well that is NOT helping mommy. And while you may think that mommy is Wonder Woman (and I freely admit that she just might be), she is not able to get a new diaper on your bum in a timely manner if you are doing any of the above. So work WITH mommy, okay??? Soon you'll be back on the floor playing your favorite game - "rip the covers off mommy's favorite and treasured books".

Being a Stay at Home Mommy

2010-06-07T23:06:00.002-04:00

I never used to fantasize about being a stay at home mommy. I DID, however, fantasize about being a "kept woman". Yup, I really, really wanted to know what it would be like to be a "mistress". Now, I didn't REALLY want to be one - but the IDEA of being one was incredibly enticing. I remember once I was walking through Downtown Crossing when this older gentleman wearing a very nice suit took my hand and tried to get me to "get a cup of coffee" with him. Uh, no thank you. I mentioned it to my boss at the time and she said I had just missed out on my opportunity to be a "kept woman" - she was KIDDING, but that's what got me thinking. How lovely would it be to have NO responsibilities, to do nothing all day but go to spas, the gym, shopping, and to have my OWN APARTMENT where I didn't have to pay for anything? Pretty darn lovely, right? Now, I'm well aware that the fantasy in my head is not a reality and that that sort of relationship isn't really a "relationship" as much as it is say, a BUSINESS relationship - if you get my meaning! But boy was it a tantalizing thought. Especially when I had to do things I didn't want to do, like pay the rent and utilities and cable and perhaps there wasn't REALLY money left over to go do something fun. Anyway, now that I'm a stay at home mommy, I'm having a hard time adjusting to the fact that the day is pretty much mine. Yes, it's REALLY run by Nathan, or as my father likes to call him, "The Little Tyrant" - but since Nathan is only 11 months, I pretty much decide things like what we're doing, what he'll eat, and when naptime is. If I want to stay in the house and lie on the floor with Nathan while he crawls all over me - that's what we do. If I want to get out of the house, than I plan a playdate or other outing. I don't really have a schedule yet, and I'm trying to get one, because I am someone who works best with a schedule. A schedule AND a deadline. Maybe it's because I'm a HUGE procrastinator, but I tend to wait till the very last second to finish whatever needs to be done, so deadlines are huge for me in terms of motivation.

Right now my schedule is pretty much as follows:
Wake up with Nathan - change his diaper and give him breakfast.
Put Nathan in his exersaucer and turn on Nick Jr for Blues Clues while I take the world's fastest shower.
Pop Nathan into his playroom and attempt to eat breakfast myself - eating VERY quickly before Nathan melts down because I am NOT sitting right next to him.
Play time - Games we play are "Climb all over mommy", "open and close dresser drawer and get VERY upset when mommy repeatedly tries to redirect to another activity". "try and put pacifier in mommy's mouth", "eat everything".
Bottle
Nap time (please god, nap time would be lovely)
Wake Nathan up and feed him lunch
Into the stroller for a walk around neighborhood or lake or mall, or maybe a playdate. The key is to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE at some point.
Bottle
Nap time
Play time in playroom where we play games like "How many pacifiers can we drop before running out", "Let's scream our heads off if mommy needs to leave for 5 second to run to the bathroom", and "hey, is that a phone/magazine/book/remote control because I want it RIGHT NOW".
Dinner
Give Nathan to Jeff as soon as he walks through the door
Dishes
Bathtime
Story or playtime
Bottle
Bed
Of course the schedule is subject to changes at the last minute but i try and make sure Nathan gets all his naps in - though I also make sure the afternoon nap doesn't stretch beyond 5:00pm because otherwise he's IMPOSSIBLE to get to go down for bed.
It's definitely been an adjustment over here, but I'm loving everything so far!

Distrust of anything after midnight

2010-06-06T20:26:00.003-04:00

Let's face it, anything after midnight is NOT GOOD. Wait? Do you need more? Let me explain. Anything that happens after midnight is usually NOT GOOD. Midnight and after is kind of the witching hour so to speak. If you're awake it's most likely not on purpose and you're engaged in some insomnia-related activity such as staring at the clock and counting how many hours you have until you have to wake up the next morning, watching QVC, or tossing and turning as your mind plays some odd loop in your head over and over again no matter what you do. If you're out and about, anything after midnight is NOT GOOD because that usually means you've been drinking. And if you've been drinking, after midnight is about the time where you perhaps have DRUNK TOO MUCH. This is the point in time when you judgement becomes, well, murky. You THINK you still look amazing - until you happen to glance at yourself in the mirror and notice you have sweated off all your make-up and look perhaps... NOT GOOD. This is also a bad time to maybe say... meet somebody. Your judgement, as I stated before, is murky at best, and you are not really looking at this potential partner with the best eyes. Once again, NOT GOOD. And if you are instead awake after midnight because your child is sick, crying, hates you and wants you and daddy to die a slow and miserable death - well this is also NOT GOOD. This is the time of night when you and your significant other will fight over something as small as what kind of diapers to buy, to something as serious as budget concerns. This is NOT THE TIME to have ANY sort of discussion, no matter how small or how big. I can pretty much guarantee that you and your significant other will NOT AGREE. Not only will you NOT AGREE with each other, you will soooooooo NOT AGREE with each other that you will perhaps have a DISCUSSION. This is NOT GOOD! So really, anything that takes place after midnight is not to be trusted. Little tidbit from me to you!

Heart

2010-06-05T22:01:00.003-04:00

Warning - mushy post alert!!! The hormones are running through my body faster than the speed of light, so if you don't want to read the mushy ooshiness.. well.. give this post a PASS!

Nathan is almost 1 years old. I cannot believe it. Last Father's Day I got Jeff a picture frame where there's a tiny oval for each month, and you put a picture in it to show how your baby is growing month by month. When I presented it to Jeff (he LOVES taking pictures), we both marvelled over ALL THOSE TINY WINDOWS. I mean, it was RIDICULOUS to even think about how time would pass and we would have Nathan and that a WHOLE YEAR would fly by. But today Jeff showed me the frame and there's only one tiny window left. 12 months.

It feels like I've had Nathan with me forever. It feels like my heart is walking around outside of my body in the form of my baby. Everything he does amazes me. Even when he's being a total BEAR because he missed a nap and then didn't have a full afternoon nap and I can't so much as run to the bathroom to PEE without him pulling himself up on the gate to SCREAM his little head off, well even then I know I'm so freakin' lucky. Beyond lucky to have such an amazing child. Lucky that I'm able to be home with him, and lucky that he is seriously so insanely cute that there are STILL times when I have to force myself to hand him over to adoring grandpas and grandma and cousins and friends. Because there are STILL days when I am happiest when he puts his little hand on me and I feel the slight weight of his hand and know that there is so much responsibility in that little touch. And yet so much joy. I watch him sleep and I wonder if there will ever be a point in my life where I WON'T want to watch him sleep and I really hope that comes before he's like, 16 years old, because boy will he NOT want his mommy staring at him when he's a teenager. Talk about therapy!! And I wonder if I'm just the most boring person on earth because I can sit and talk about him and the things he does FOREVER and holy crap I feel bad for whoever I'm talking to because I UNDERSTAND that I am the most uninteresting person in the world and yet I CANNOT STOP MYSELF.

And my baby is almost a year old. It makes me want to cry because WHERE DID MY BABY GO??? The time flew by and even though carrying him around the mall leaves me with a back ache and exhausted - I STILL carry him around the mall for two reason:
1. He likes
2. I like it - and I know there will be a time where he will NOT want to be carried and it will make me cry, gotta get my time in now!

I read a book once where the author likened being a mother to being in Shakespeare's "Midsummer's Nights Dream" - where you are truly not in your right mind. I'd have to agree. Being a mother has been the most challenging thing I've ever done - and every day I am eternally thankful that I am NATHAN's mom. He is definitely my heart.

Bait and Switch

2010-06-03T09:42:00.003-04:00

There is not a lot of snuggle time at Chez Weiner. Okay, there IS some snuggle time. But it's usually Nathan and myself. Nathan is a definite cuddler and I LOVE it! He'll turn around and put his head on my shoulder and his little hands rested on me and okay, SOMETIMES he opens his mouth and just COMES AT ME and I say "Cannibal baby - don't eat me" and he laughs and laughs and I am dying laughing as well because really he has no idea what I'm saying... but I'm getting off the point. I never used to like to snuggle. Ever. I remember a previous relationship where in the middle of the night my boyfriend at the time tried to cuddle with me and I PUNCHED HIM IN MY SLEEP!!! He was NOT happy and immediately woke me up to tell me how awful that was. I told him that I loathe people touching me when I'm trying to sleep, and that remained true for years. I even banned my precious cat Princess Lily from my bed at night because she would make me INSANE when she tried to sleep next to say.... my head. Awful. This dislike of cuddling continued until I got married. Something about "married" flipped a switch in my head and now I LOVE to cuddle. I don't think I need to mention that Jeff HATES cuddling, right?? Hates it. Hates it, hates it. So I bargain for my cuddle time. I'll do something nice like.. let him play video games for an hour while I attend to Nathan so I can get cuddle time. Or we time it. Like, cuddle time is 5 minutes. And you better believe Jeff is marking off that time in his head. You can almost SEE him counting silently, 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi until he is free. Maybe it's because Jeff is so... cuddly!!! I swear he is the BEST for cuddle time and I love it, love it, love it!!!

Of course I have a feeling that when Nathan can start to fight back, my cuddle time with him will be over... I can picture him now with a disgusted look on his face "Mom, please... leave me alone". Sigh...

Oh, and Jeff says that I used the old bait and switch on him with the cuddling thing.. hence the name of this post!

Newest Question

2010-06-02T21:37:00.003-04:00

A quick post - but I'd like to know why it is that I NEVER notice that Nathan has something on his face, or something in his nose until I am outside the house and people are coming up to him to talk about how cute he is. I ALWAYS wipe his hands and face, and I'm pretty good at cleaning him up after meals - but every SINGLE time I am out and about with him and someone comes over to say "hi" - I'll notice he's got a smear of his lunch near his eye (and WTF is THAT all about it?? Near his EYE???), or there's something in his nose. I will desperately to do a quick swipe to get his face clean, but for the most part - he's got a dirty face. It's soooo embarrassing. Oh, and why is it the ONE time I leave the house without a change of clothes in my diaper bag, that Nathan has the world's BIGGEST diaper explosion and I wind up changing his diaper, cleaning him off, and walking around with a baby in nothing but a diaper and socks. It's like walking around with white trash baby and once again - not a happy camper. ESPECIALLY since I usually make a point to dress him extra cute if I know we're going out. Because yes, if I know ahead of time it's going to be a slow morning or if it's raining and I'm not really leaving the house - I leave him in his jammies. I know, I know... bad... but hey.. he's a BABY and he really doesn't know any better!

Hope everyone had a wonderful long weekend - we had a pretty nice one at Chez Weiner and went to an arcade where I kicked some serious ass on the Skeeball machine! Go ME!

Dear Hallmark

2010-05-30T12:55:00.003-04:00

Dear Hallmark,

Could we talk? Just you and I for a few minutes? I love you Hallmark, I really and truly do. As a card addict, I adore searching for just the RIGHT card for the occasion. Money means nothing to me Hallmark when it comes to finding THE card. I have paid $5.00 for a single card that I thought was perfect. When my Grandmother was alive, I delighted in sending her unusual cards. Cards that were furry and plush that looked like teddy bears. Cards that had little packages of seeds, or bubble bath attached to them. Cards that played music or could record greetings. I loved them all. I have even, Hallmark, been to your competitor - Papyrus, and shelled out big bucks for a handmade, recycled card with sparkles attached if I thought the card was perfect enough for the person I was going to send it to. I pay careful attention to the WORDS inside the card - wanting them to be short and sweet and not going on and on and on because let's face it Hallmark.. NOBODY READS ALL THAT WORDING. Just a little tidbit from me to you!

Anyway, the point of this letter Hallmark is that I am tired of your Father's Day cards. At what point did the word "father" become a man who liked ONLY the following:
Sports
BBQ
Yardwork
Handyman
Coach Potato

It was hard enough when I had to buy a card for my OWN father since he embodies none of these traits. My father enjoys Opera, classical music, old black and white movies such as "The African Queen" and "La Strada". He is a die-hard romanticist and enjoys musicals such as "Carousel", and loves tragic, romantic endings. He goes to church every Sunday and teaches classes on different chapters from the Bible. He reads Math books FOR FUN!!!! So you see Hallmark, none of your traditional Father's Day cards fit my father. AT ALL. And I find myself searching vainly through your racks to find a generic Father's Day card that could MAYBE work for him. Some years I give up and don't give him a card at all.

Now I am in a double quandary as my own husband and father to my perfect and wonderful child is also not someone who fits the above Father's Day ideal. The only sport Jeff watches is wrestling. He loves video games and comic books. He loathes yard work - though will do it if it's absolutely necessary. He enjoys grilling - but I would never dare buy him something like a "King of the Grill" apron". He drinks beer sometimes - but prefers flavored and seasonal beers like blueberry and pumpkin as opposed to the traditional Miller or Budweiser. He is not someone I can easily find a card for either. Once again, this leaves me with very little to pick from, and I don't even remember the card I got him for last year's Father's Day. Needless to say - it was generic.

So Hallmark, how about stepping away from the idea that all father's are a stereotype. I am sure I am not the only person who has issues with this and it would be nice to see ALL fathers recognized on this holiday. I would like to thank you in advance for your time and attention to this matter!

Sincerely,
Katharine

Internet Surfing

2010-05-23T21:08:00.003-04:00

Yes, when Nathan is screaming his little head off I internet surf. I need SOMETHING to keep me from losing my mind, and I found this little gem today:

On the plus side, you don't need to worry about your butt being on display when you sit down because your underwear is ATTACHED TO YOUR PANTS!!! Kind of ingenius when you think about it!

Letting him cry it out

2010-05-23T09:41:00.002-04:00

Today is Day 3. For the past 2 nights we've been letting Nathan cry it out. And while there's the minor victory of Nathan sleeping IN his crib - we're all exhausted. Friday night he cried from 1:30am - 3:30am when he finally went to sleep after hysterics and Jeff and I sat downstairs and watched a poker tournament on television. Which, by the way, why is it okay to use math in poker, but not to count cards? I'm just wondering. Last night Nathan cried from 10:45pm - 3am. We watched Star Wars on television about 1 and 1/2 times, and alternated between napping and miserably feeling like the worst parents in the world. We were using the Ferber method to get him to sleep but everytime we went up Nathan would get more and more hysterical that we were once again leaving him. So we started stretching the time out till about every 30 minutes. Jeff isn't sure if last night Nathan fell asleep on his own, or he helped since when he went up he tried comforting Nathan by rubbing his cheek and Nathan passed right out, exhausted. Oh, and was then WIDE AWAKE by 6am te next morning. I just put him down for a nap around 9am and he screamed again till about 9:35am. Where he finds the energy to continue his tantrums I have no idea because Jeff and I are a wreck. Jeff has to work tomorrow so we're planning on turning off the monitor and having him sleep downstairs. There's no way he'll be able to function if he's only got a second night of 3 hours of sleep at work, and at least I can nap the next day when Nathan naps... I've read from friends that this can take anywhere from 3 days to a week and we're really, really hoping it will be more like 3 days because this is worse than when he was a newborn. Maybe it's because he's started calling for us, and we can hear repeated words like "da da" and "ma ma" from upstairs and that makes us feel like ogres for ignoring him. I keep telling Jeff we're doing this for Nathan, that him being able to sleep on his own in his crib is good for him, but it feels AWFUL right now. Really, really awful.

The Zombies are Coming!!!

2010-05-20T20:35:00.004-04:00

I took a walk around the lake in Wakefield yesterday with Nathan. And first things first... oh boy am I outta shape. Ten minutes into the walk I was soooo tired. So tired. I wanted to turn around and call it quits but instead I persevered and walked the entire 3+ miles. As I walked though I looked at the houses around the area, kind of fantasizing about what it would be like to live in the various places. Now around this lake there is a cemetery. As I walked I thought to myself "How nice would it be to live at X"? And then I thought, "But it's right across from the cemetery". Not sure where I'm going? Well... what if people start rising from the dead? What if the ZOMBIES COME? Because where would the zombie first go? The houses AROUND THE CEMETERY!!! So we can't live near the cemetery and the lake because one night I might look outside and see this:

And that would suck. A lot.

Now here's the question. Does ANYONE else think of stuff like this? Or is it just me??

Attempt to use the Ferber Method to keep Nathan in his crib,

2010-05-16T14:33:00.002-04:00

Nathan on a whole, is a very good baby. Or at least he USED to be a good baby. His crib is inches from our bed since our house is, oh TINY, and for now we're kind of stuck with this arrangement. It used to be we would put him down in his crib and he'd go right to sleep. Around 5am he would start to fuss, and in the interest of getting a few more precious hours of sleep.. we would bring him into bed with us. Well, at 10 months old, Nathan is on to us. He has figured out that if he screams enough.. well, he can get into bed with us THAT MUCH QUICKER. My question is, why? Why in the world does he want to be in bed with us?? I just don't understand. He has a brand new, and may I add - pricey, mattress. He has comfy sheets and blankets and a few stuffed animals. It's a comfortable place to sleep. I have no idea what the appeal is of sleeping between Jeff and I in OUR bed. I mean.. it's INCHES from us. It's not like he's lonely.. I just don't understand. But in our bed he wants to be. And NOW.

Last night we tried the following method at 4am. He'd been in bed with us since midnight and at 4am he started kind of whining. We changed his diaper, argued about giving him a bottle, finally made a small bottle, and put him in his crib. Screaming started almost instantly. This was the schedule I followed:

let him cry for 2 minutes. After 2 minutes I picked him up, consoled him, and when he was calm, back in his crib.
let him cry for4 minutes. Picked him up after 4 minutes, consoled him, and when he was calm, back in his crib.
let him cry for 6 minutes. I think you know the drill now!
let him cry for 8 minutes.
let him cry for 10 minutes.

At 10 minutes he was such a screaming mess, he was red and hysterical and taking large gulping breaths with tears streaming down his face and Jeff and I had another argument. Jeff was positive the doctor said not to let him cry longer than 10 minutes. I was just as positive that we were supposed to keep going with the schedule. I eventually caved and Jeff brought Nathan into bed with us. Once there it took Nathan a good 5-10 minutes to finally calm down. He was UPSET. We slept until almost 9am the next morning - unheard of in our household. So Jeff and I need another approach. Or an approach we can agree on that will not turn us into hissing harpies as we turn on each other as our baby screams in the background. Did we start this off the correct way? Did we do it wrong? I mean, obviously we messed up since we had Nathan back in bed with us by the end - not the result we wanted. So what do we do differently??

Send us some ideas people - we're willing to try almost anything since we're obviously complete pushovers!

thoughts about blogging

2010-05-10T21:06:00.002-04:00

I've been reading a lot about people who used to write on their blogs super personal stories and how later they regret it. They may have written about sexual experiences, or something traumatic in their lives and once the words are committed to the internet.. they're out there forever. There's no taking them back. At first I thought - that wouldn't happen to me because 1. I don't exactly have a huge following! And 2. I don't write about deeply personal things, but yet I do try and share what's on my mind. See, what's the point in blogging if I can't share what's on my mind?? And sometimes, what's on my mind is not pretty. That's just life! I do want to make sure however that I am, and I'm not sure this is the correct term, a thoughtful writer. Meaning, I don't want to write something that my family would be embarassed to see, or something that would be betraying a confidence. I'm fairly private as a person, so writing this blog goes a little against my nature, but I suppose it's my vanity that has me write. For example, when I was younger I kept a diary, and I kept that diary for YEARS. Off and on from the time I was about 7 years old well into my high school years. I had been inspired by Ann Frank and her diary and I remember re-reading entries and wondering how a stranger would interpret my words. Kind of vain when you think about it... but that's kind of what blogging is all about. You're writing something personal, almost a diary, and yet you're also interested in what strangers and friends have to say about your thoughts. Are you, indeed, crazy? Are you not alone in your thoughs and opinions? So I did think about giving this blog a rest, but instead I'm going to keep going for a little while longer. My ego won't let me stop just yet!~

My Ability to Amuse Myself

2010-05-07T08:11:00.002-04:00

I have a weird sense of humor. I pretty much always have. And I can amuse myself at pretty much nothing. One of my favorite things to do is to tease Jeff. I love it. The best way to tease him? When we're cuddled up on the sofa I pretend to take a bite out of him and I say:

"Honey, what am I"?

Jeff knows this game WAY too well and he'll usually just give me a deadpan look which of course sends ME into hysterics.

"You're a shark" he'll say.

I'll be DYING laughing and I'll manage to spit out "I'm a shark and I'm gonna eat you up".

Hit repeat because I can do this for quite a long time much to Jeff's chagrin, and the more unamused he is, the more amused I am by the whole thing. It's messed up - I freely admit this.

I don't really know why this amuses me to no end, but it never fails. I'll be laughing until tears stream out of my eyes and Jeff will be silently asking himself just why in the hell he married me in the firs place. Maybe it's because I AM so easily amused???

Weird Lunch Habit

2010-05-05T20:32:00.002-04:00

This is the second time I've done something kind of weird at lunch. First off, had to go and fuel up my Jeep so I could make it home at the end of the day. Bu the weather was so nice I drove around for a little bit with the windows down and finally pulled into the McDonald's parking lot. Walked inside, got a Diet Coke, walked back outside, rolled down my windows and took out my lunch (ham and cheese on white with applesauce for a snack). Sat in my car and ate my lunch while perusing "Toddler Bargains". It was lovely! The day was great, the weather nice and warm, and I really, really enjoyed just kind of being by myself. I feel like as a mom and wife and also with work - I don't get much time to myself. When I was single and lived alone I would come home, have dinner, and pull out a book to read while doing so. I have to force myself NOT to do this now since it's kind of rude to sit right next to Jeff and have my nose buried in a book... we probably need to reconnect after a day apart and you know, remember that we're MARRIED!!!

So as a result - not a lot of down time. Not a lot of me time. A lunch in my car was perfect.. and way too short.

My question?? Is it weird I sat in my car all alone and ate lunch??

Senior Prom

2010-05-02T19:09:00.002-04:00

In a nutshell? I didn't go.

I wish I had a better story for it, but really it was because my high school boyfriend/fiancee was always getting into trouble and wasn't allowed to take me. In all honesty, I wasn't too devastated at the time because the small, private school I attended was only having a prom because kids demanded it, but the rumour going round was there would be no dancing. And at the tender age of 17, I thought I was way beyond prom anyway. I was ENGAGED after all! Practically an adult when you think about it.

Yes, I would LOVE to go back and have a little heart to heart talk with my teenage self, but at the same time, those years were not all that bad. I was INCREDIBLY awkward for most of it, but I had a good group of core friends, some of whom I am still friends with now, and I managed to actually GRADUATE high school and attend college (a major accomplishment when you consider the fact that I was really only interested in two things - boys and heavy metal).

I do wonder now, what it would have been like to attend my senior prom. I had attended plenty of sweetheart dances, ROTC dances, even a few Junior Proms - but not my senior. And most people I talk to now are of two camps.

If they attended Senior Prom there were two possible results:
A magical, wonderful, storybook experience
A horrible, crushingly bad but now funny in hindsight experience

If the did NOT attend Senior Prom there were two possible results:
Had a wonderful time with friends doing something different like a theatre night or going into the city
Had a lousy time and stayed in with their parents and watched movies - something that once again is kind of funny and a badge of honor in hindsight.

My reason for not attending? Kind of lame. Okay, REALLY lame. I COULD have gone alone - but the snob in me was NO WAY attending a fancy dance if I couldn't parade around my boyfriend/fiancee. I mean, what was the point in even HAVING a boyfriend/fiancee if I couldn't make him escort me to over-priced events where he would have to make small talk with people he didn't know and where I would eventually make out with him in front of everyone and boy would they be JEALOUS!!! I mean COME ON!!!

Perhaps though I am putting too much weight into the whole Senior Prom experience. I grew up on the movies "Sixteen Candles" and "Pretty in Pink" and the idea of Prom is HUGE in these movies. Jeff attended his prom wearing a white tux with TAILS for God's sake, and I feel like maybe I missed out on not getting the whole enormous poofy dress with hair pulled into a some sort of weird up-do and wearing too much make-up. Hmmm... maybe that's a great idea of Halloween this year.. I could be an 80's prom girl!!!!

What do you all think? Did you attend your Senior Prom? Did you have a good time or bad time?

Thoughts

2010-04-29T12:31:00.003-04:00

I was running around during lunch today, getting gas, seeing about picking up some cards, little things like that when I happened to glance into the backseat. There's a car seat back there. A car seat, some soft covered books, a mirror with jungle animals so I can see Nathan, and it hit me.

I'm a MOMMY!

I know that seems silly since my life is pretty much completely consumed by the fact that I have Nathan. But there are still times when I think.. Holy CRAP! I'm a MOTHER. I have a little baby boy who is dependent on me for EVERYTHING. I don't know if its because I never really THOUGHT about being a mother previously - but there are days when I just cannot believe it. I see mothers and their children all day long doing things like holding hands and pushing strollers and I see it abstractly. It's a fact of life. Only now that woman with the diaper bag and baby on a hip is ME! It's very weird to see myself like that, and not really weird in a bad way, just weird. Like I went to sleep one way, and woke up a completely different way. I'm still ME.. but yet there's this whole other side of me. Some days its like I'm playing role, a role I desperately want to do well, but it's a role. I stare at Nathan at times and think, he's MINE! He's MY baby. This little person, this little being is MY BABY. And it blows my mind so completely I can't explain it.

I wish I had some deep thoughts about this, but it kind of amuses me that 10 months later I am still in AWE of the fact that I have this child. I clearly remember my life previous to his arrival, but yet I cannot even fathom a world where he is not in it. This whole motherhood thing is a strange, strange journey!

Letter to Hollywood Directors

2010-04-25T08:28:00.002-04:00

Dear Hollywood Directors,
Can we stop with the torture porn please?? Seriously, I LOVE horror movies. Scary movies are so much fun and the whole nail biting suspense, love it. But what's with making EVERY scary movie as graphic and bloody as possible? Just because you CAN show what it looks like to have someone disemboweled does not mean it should be shown on the screen. I'm tired of it. It's not scary - it's gross. It doesn't add something to the story, and it just makes me tell Jeff to skip the movie ahead so I don't get ill.

Looking for an example? Jeff and I watched "The Collector" recently and there were ALL SORTS of problems. Basic premise? A burglar breaks into a house to rob a family supposedly gone on vacation. As he's cracking the safe, he realizes that there is someone else in the house. A bondage masked bad man who has tied up the parents and brought them to the basement to torture/kill. Why? We don't really get to hear the "why" other than from a previous victim who says the guy is a "collector and they'll never get out of the house alive". That's our whole background. So it's a faceless, reasonless baddie in the house and the burglar now must save the family.

First problem? Telling me too much about burglar. They try and explain WHY the burglar breaks into the house (wife took out a loan from BAD PEOPLE and they are coming to collect and blah, blah). I think they did this to make the burglar look like the good guy. But let's face it, the burglar could be a cracked out ex-con with a gambling problem and he would look like a SAINT compared to crazy guy torturing the family.

Second problem? In the space of a few hours this bondage mask wearing guy has not only managed to get the parents and drag them to the basement where he does horrible things to them, but he has also managed to do the following:

install about 15 deadbolts on the doors that only he has the key to
poor sticky acid all over the floor of a daughter's bedroom
hang up a web of barely visible wire that will cut your skin
put down about 55 bear traps on the floor
stake out his attack dog outside
put nails in the stairs so when you step on them you cut your foot
put a nail in the PHONE so when you try and call for help you stab yourself
Knives in the chandelier

I could go on and on about the crazy stuff this guy does in the space of a few hours, and my thinking is WHY??? He's already got the two adults in the house in the basement CHAINED UP. Who is he setting all these traps out for? The whole point of the movie is he doesn't know the burglar is inside. So what are these elaborate traps for?? Trust me when I say those two people are not going ANYWHERE without help.

Basically the movie goes on and on with people dying in horrible ways, and the teenage daughter comes home with her boyfriend and both of them die in horrible ways. Burglar manages to get the mother unchained but she freaks out after seeing her dead husband and runs smack dab into the killer. It's just nuts. My feeling was, why aren't we KILLING THE BAD GUY??? The guy doesn't know you are there... grab a weapon (there are TONS OF THEM EVERYWHERE) and sneak up behind this guy and take him out. I mean... unchain the dad, wait for killer guy to come downstairs and together you kill the bad guy. I just do NOT understand why we're doing all this skulking around the house unless it's to show us just how terrible bad guy is with all the traps he's laid out.

And here's my biggest pet peeve, and if you think you're going to watch this movie, stop here. Burglar makes it out of the house with the 5 year old daughter who has been hiding. The police are coming and he gets HIT BY A COP CAR in an attempt to save the daughter. She's taken away safely in a cop car and burglar is in the ambulance. He thinks he's safe. He's okay. NOT SO FAST! The ambulance is hit by a cop car manned by BONDAGE MASK WEARING BAD GUY who takes out everyone in the ambulance, gets the burglar guy and carries him off to certain doom.

Really? REALLY?? The bad guy escapes the house which was on FIRE by the way, takes out a cop, gets into the car and chases down the ambulance?? Is he SUPER BONDAGE MASK WEARING BAD GUY??? Does he have special powers?? I hate that. Don't try and make me think that this is a HUMAN and MORTAL person and ohhh... this could happen to you scary movie, and then give the bad guy immortal powers of regeneration. It cheapens the movie and the ending. Hated this. Hated this, hated this, hated this.

So are we clear Hollywood Directors? No blood and guts and torture JUST BECAUSE you can. And no supernatural bad guys who seems to re-spawn like a video game character. Let's go back to scary movies where something is left to the imagination. It's scarier and works better as a story.

Thank you again for your time and attention to this matter.

Sincerely,
Disgruntled movie watcher

Future - and I'm pretty sure this is it

2010-04-18T21:17:00.001-04:00

Night Alone

2010-04-16T15:55:00.002-04:00

Jeff likes to go to karaoke night, and he does this about 2x a month. When Jeff goes out, I have the house ALLLLLLLL to myself (well, aside from Nathan!), and I get ready to do things that Jeff doesn't enjoy.

I'll watch either a movie he doesn't want to see, or one of my shows from the TIVO cue. I also tend to get something indulgent to eat. Last night I splurged on McDonalds. The week previous Jeff bought me Ben & Jerry's Phish Food. Granted, now that I have Nathan I don't stay up late and it's not QUITE as indulgent a time as it was before we had Nathan. But it's still kind of nice. However, there is a down side. I am WAY more nervous when going to bed than I have ever been. And it's not nervousness about myself. After all, I lived alone for several years and always felt perfectly safe. No, I am a nervous wreck about NATHAN. What if something happens to him? What if a kidnapper breaks in and takes him??? Just that sentence alone fills me with a horror I cannot even describe.

So here's my new routine. I watch whatever show/movie I want, eat dinner, and when I'm starting to nod off, I take Monty out. It's AFTER I take Monty out that I go through an OCD-type ritual.

Bring Monty back inside and lock door. Check back door and make sure it is locked as well. Immediately I head to the master bedroom and look in the crib. Is Nathan still sleeping happily? Than all is well. Next I check closet in nursery, check shower, and check closet in master bedroom. Basically I walk the length of the entire house to make sure that with the 5 minutes it took me to walk outside and let Monty do his business in the backyard that someone did not sneak in and take Nathan, or sneak in and hide. I then make sure my cell phone is charged and bring it to bed with me. I do take comfort in the fact that I have an enormous dog who while not vicious, is EXTREMELY excited anytime someone comes to the door. He's a great heads up and impossible to ignore.

I know this makes me slightly crazy.. but I have seen WAY too many Dateline specials and scary movies, so the nightime bedcheck will continue as long as Jeff likes to belt out "My Girl Likes to Party All The Time" by Eddie Murphy!

Seriously???

2010-04-15T20:58:00.002-04:00

I'm trying to think of an occasion where shoes such as these would be appropriate.

Single Life

2010-04-13T21:24:00.002-04:00

It's no secret that Jeff and I met on Boston.com. I was newly single after spending about 10 years with the same man, and Jeff was newly single after getting divorced. He had been married for 10 years. Jeff will delight in telling you that I chose him. And it's true. I was still nervous about the online dating thing and had no picture listed. I was the one who trolled for men, and if I saw a guy I liked, I sent him an email. If I remember correctly, Jeff's profile stated that his grandmother thought he looked like the actor Noah Wylie from ER, and he asked what movies I liked. He was also super cute.

I wrote him, sent him the world's worst picture of myself - he agreed to meet with me despite that, and we met for drinks. May I add that Jeff didn't drink so we met at a bar and I had a drink and he had soda. Oh, and everyone I inquired about in his family had just DIED. Including the family dog. EVEN THE DOG WAS DEAD. Regardless it was a great date and now we're married.

Not all dates were this good. If you've spent anytime single, you know what I'm talking about. The downside to online dating took me awhile to figure out. That rule was, just because I connected with someone over email, did not mean we would connect in real life. I was talking with a guy via email for WEEKS. We had great emails back and forth, and eventually we met in real life. Now, this guy had a stutter and I knew that beforehand. It was not an issue for me, and I decided that we should go to a movie and dinner. I figured that the movie would give us something to talk about during dinner. So we met. I don't even remember what movie we went to see, but this guy was nervous. REALLY nervous. So nervous he sweat. And sweat. A LOT of sweat. And it just kept coming. He also pet me. You read that right. He PET ME. He stroked my hair and told me it was pretty. I can't even begin to tell you how weird it was. All I can say is there was no dinner. I faked an illness after the movie and we went our separate ways. After that I realized that it was better to meet the person in question as soon as possible.

And a few dates later, I met Jeff. I do hope that my bad date in question managed to meet someone he connected with. He was a nice guy, just not for me.

Anyone feel like sharing? Any bad date stories??? I've got a few more up my sleeve.. and I'll share if you do!

Complete Lack of Appetite

2010-04-07T19:20:00.002-04:00

For some reason these past few days I have no appetite. It's the weirdest thing because not being hungry is NOT normal for me. I'm the kind of person who LOOKS FORWARD to meals. I get excited if I'm going for a good meal out at a favorite restaurant. I ENJOY food. And while work has been stressful, my normal reaction to stress is "BRING ON THE FOOD"!!!! It is NOT.. "Eh, I guess I should eat something for lunch". Now I do have Graves Disease and no thyroid, but not being hungry has never been a side effect before. I go ALL MORNING LONG now without eating. I have no interest in it. Normally I'd be STARVING by 10:30am even after a nice healthy breakfast and ready to gnaw my arm off like a coyote stuck in a traffic.

Does anyone have any thoughts or suggestions? It doesn't feel serious, like call a doctor serious, I'm just not hungry. This evening I was a little hungry on my way home from work, but I just didn't care if I ate or not. Very, very weird. I feel fine otherwise so I've got no idea just what is going on now.

Easter

2010-04-06T19:32:00.003-04:00

Despite the scary-ass Easter bunny at the Hawthorne Hotel in Salem we had a wonderful, scrumptious brunch. I'm telling you this place has the BEST food. YUMMY! I definitely recommend it and would go back. The Easter bunny walked around and was gracious enough to hold Nathan and let us snap a quick picture - and it's not the bunny's fault that he is so damn creepy!!!

Nathan was super well behaved especially considering he is teething and pretty miserable. He kept shoving EVERYTHING in his mouth and had a particular fondness for the spoons at the table. And here's the picture of the happy family:

Dinner Friday Night

2010-04-01T22:39:00.004-04:00

Jeff and I are going to have a stay in "date night". We're going to rent a movie and hang out and I was thinking of going REALLY crazy and making dinner:

Mmmm... Fish Pizza!! It's pizza for Jeff and tuna fish for me! Two great tastes that taste great together. Admit it, you're all jealous. I know you are!

Confession and Confusion

2010-03-31T21:37:00.002-04:00

I was listening to the radio today and I heard this one song "Baby" by Justin Bieber. At first I wasn't sure if the singer was a boy or a girl, but did figure out (Justin is usually a boys name!) that the singer was male. And he sounded young. Really young. I was curious and looked him up on youtube. Feel like taking a look at this young singer/boy who makes more money than you will ever hope to have??
You can thank me later:

Oh my, he is REALLY young. Is this kid like 10 years old or am I just incredibly ancient??? Well I started to make fun of this kid to Jeff, and to further expand my mocking to include his fan base of 10 - 16 year old girls when I suddenly realized.... Yes, he has PERFECTLY styled hair that doesn't seem to move. Yes, he is VERY YOUNG, practically a fetus. Yes, he appears to be "putting the moves" on a girl QUITE a bit older than him. And, yes, he has more money than I will ever hope to have even if I work three more jobs and give up sleep. But I can't make fun of him. And I cannot make fun of the crop of young girls who are cutting his picture out and posting it all over their walls (am I dating myself there? Do young girls do this anymore???).

Do you know WHY I cannot make fun of him?? Because THIS is what I had a crush on when I was about 14 years old:

Yes, that is Tom Keiffer, the lead singer from Cinderella singing the classic "Nobody's Fool". And you know what? I STILL have a crush on this man and I don't care that he is wearing suspenders and spandex with a long jacket and NO SHIRT. I don't care that he apparently is singing while rose petals sprinkle down from the heavens above. I don't care that he doesn't notice that his girlfriend LEFT HIM and apparently has no way to even CONTACT HIM and is forced to STALK HIM AT A CONCERT TO GET HIS ATTENTION AGAIN. And I don't care that this is a cheesy song because I watch it now and know that I still love this man and can even admit to owning a DVD filled with concert footage because Cinderella is AWESOME!

Oh, and if you ever want to find the band Cinderella on the web, it's NOT Cinderella dot com. THAT site is a porn site. Just a little FYI from me to you!

Ah ha moment!!

2010-03-27T16:34:00.003-04:00

Oh boy am I excited to post this. Remember my comments about how "rompers" were not for adults, and trying to persuade my sister that a "romper" is not for her?? Well I was perusing the children's department of Macy's today and look what I found:

Could it be?? No..... It can't be.... but WAIT.. It's a ROMPER!!! Look, here's another one:

I started giggling in the store and thought to myself "Self, those look VERY much like the Rompers that Old Navy and my sister have been telling me are okay to wear in public". But I didn't want to get too excited so I came home and looked up the Carter's web site. Sure enough.. these little gems were found under a heading called "ROMPERS". And do I need to add that they were under the BOY'S Section??? Don't believe me? Here's the link:

http://www.carters.com/carters/baby-boy-rompers/carters-baby-boy-rompers,default,sc.html

Yeah baby.. that's "baby boy rompers". I KNEW IT!! Rompers are NOT for adult women to wear. They are for BABY BOYS!!! I am NOT an old fuddy duddy with no style.. I am RIGHT!!!! GO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love for Cheesy 80's Movies

2010-03-27T10:06:00.003-04:00

I had COMPLETELY forgotten about this movie until Nathan was napping and I was mindlessly picking up around our teeny, tiny house...

THE CUTTING EDGE!!!

Holy crap I LOVED this movie back in the day and I just watched it all the way through (thank you ABC Family!!) and I love it still! Of course they also showed "The Cutting Edge 2" right after and I have no interest in that... but boy did I love the original!!!!

Confusion when favorite books are turned into movies

2010-03-26T21:25:00.003-04:00

As a huge book nerd, I have quite a few favorite books/authors/characters. One of my favorite books feature Sherlock Holmes. I love him as a character, I love the way he solves crimes (in a completely different way than say, Hercule Poirot of Agatha Christie fame), and in MY mind, he looks like this:

He looks like this, the PBS version of Sherlock Holmes because that's what my parents watched when I was a child - WAY before I read the books. But I remember, and in MY mind - that's Sherlock Holmes.

So as interested as I was by the whole idea of a NEW Sherlock Holmes... eh... I don't know. Robert Downey Jr. is a great actor.. I just don't buy him as Sherlock Holmes. PLUS I read that they really played up the whole love angle (which if you've read the books you know that Mr. Holmes was NOT interested in the opposite sex at all and considered most of them sub-par in intellect and reason.). But this is a MOVIE and they need SEX, so see below:

And it LOOKS like a decent movie.. but I still don't think I can watch it. Does anyone else have this trouble when movies are made about their beloved books? Sometimes the actor portraying your favorite character is NOTHING like you imagined, and now the story is ruined. There's something about a good book that leaves you kind of.. possessive. That book, that story, that CHARACTER becomes part of you and to see that character in a different way can be disconcerting. So, to rent or not to rent?

Date Night with Jeff

2010-03-24T20:34:00.003-04:00

Jeff and I had our first "date night" a few weeks back. And by "date night" I mean a date where we WENT OUT and did NOT have Nathan with us. We started small. We had one of Jeff's co-workers come over and put Nathan to bed. We had him all ready in his pajamas, and we gave him a bottle right as she arrived so everything would be all set. Since he goes to bed around 7pm every night, all she would have to do (hopefully) was put him in his crib with his pacifier. And turn on the white noise machine.

Jeff and I left to go see "Alice in Wonderland" in 3-D and we both really enjoyed it!

It was kind of a different spin on the classic tale, but I enjoyed the spin Tim Burton put on it, and I even thought Crispin Glover was weirdly sexy in kind of a bad boy way.

Anyway, Jeff and I pretty much saw the movie and came home around 9:30pm. Not a long night, but since this was our first venture out, we wanted to take it slow. As we were walking up the path to our house we heard crying. Not a good sign. NORMALLY once Nathan is asleep, he stays asleep for quite a few hours - which is why we felt pretty safe going to a movie and coming home. We didn't want to subject our babysitter to a hysterical infant. Entering our house we went upstairs where Christine was holding a sobbing Nathan.

Apparently he had woken up and cried a little (that usually means his pacifier has fallen out and he can't QUITE manage to get it back in his mouth the correct way - this is followed by a short meltdown until the pacifier is returned). Well Christine came upstairs and gave him his pacifier but Nathan, who had been perfectly happy with her putting him to bed, was VERY surprised that she was the one who answered his late night summons. WHERE was his Mummy and Daddy?? Mummy or, sometimes AND Daddy are the people who respond. Where in the world WERE they?? His crying apparently got more insistent and he was soon doing little hiccup unhappy cries. I took Nathan from Christine and it took me about 30 minutes to get him all settled back down. He needed time to see that YES Mummy was here, he was okay, he had his pacifier and all is right with the world. He passed out until early morning.

So the night wasn't bad. Nathan had no problem with a sitter putting him to bed.. he was just disconcerted that it was the sitter who came to him at night. Which, I can't say I blame him. I mean, all his life it has ONLY been his parents at night, so to suddenly have us NOT THERE.. well that would throw anyone for a loop.

This just means we need to try again and get him used to a sitter. I'm thinking next time we might try dinner AND a movie!! I KNOW.. we are CRAZY PEOPLE!!!! CRAZY!!!

Sunday Night Blues

2010-03-21T22:26:00.002-04:00

I totally have the Sunday Night Blues this week. There's no rational reason I should be feeling this way, but I am ready to throw a temper tantrum because I completely want to be a stay at home mom. I dread Sundays because it means that Monday morning I head off to work when what I really want to do is stay home with Nathan. It's an interesting feeling because before Nathan I had absolutely zero desire to EVER be a stay at home mom... a trophy wife - sure! Who wouldn't love to shop, 'do lunch', and get spa treatments all day??? But right now what I really want is to be home with Nathan. Even if he's fussy and cranky and I'm dead tired by the time Jeff comes home on Fridays - I LOVE being with him. I love it. I love it when he belly laughs, I love it when he tries to gouge out my eyeball, and I love just the whole day. I fantasize about what a good housewife I would be - and let's face it. I've got the cleaning and laundry thing done COLD!! Cooking.. well. there's room for improvement there I'll admit, but in my fantasy I am some sort of weird Donna Reed-like mom who whips up tasty but simple dinners while also making sure Nathan is properly stimulated with educational games and toys. I understand that this is a fantasy and NOT reality, but I still want it. I want it REAL bad.

It's not going to happen anytime soon, and I am heading back to work tomorrow. Work where I know I am lucky to HAVE a job..and this was definitely hammered home to me when I attended a charity event earlier today. One of the ladies at my table just graduated nursing school and cannot get a job. I guess I naively thought that getting a nursing job would be easy since the demand for nurses is so high, but her point was that the demand is for EXPERIENCED nurses. Not new graduates. I had toyed with the idea of maybe going back to school for nursing and I don't mind dealing with blood, or even crisis at my work - what I DO have a problem with is the amount of responsibility that goes along with the job. At my current job if I mess up... it might be bad but nobody is going to die. Nobody is going to get sick. I can fix it. But NURSING.. well hell.. you've got somebody's LIFE in your hands. I cannot even fathom having that kind of responsibility, or level headedness. There is no way I could do that. I would be a wreck, an absolute wreck all the time.

So I'm lucky I have a job, and a job that lets me stay home on Fridays with Nathan (where I confess that despite my fantasies I am NOT making dinner despite having all day to do so), but I still feel incredibly whiny. And ungrateful.

If someone could send me a better attitude I would really appreciate it!

Relationship

2010-03-14T21:29:00.002-04:00

I was thinking this morning about how one phrase can have so many different interpretations. When in a relationship, it's important to realize that your significant other is not always going to read your mind and know exactly what it is you are asking for OR after reading your mind have the slightest inclination to DO what it is you are asking for. Here's an example:

When I ask for something to get done, what I really want is for it to be done NOW. Immediately. So if I ask Jeff to say, change the diaper genie, what I REALLY want him to do is spring up from the sofa (JUMP UP really), race to the diaper genie, take out the bag, AND TAKE IT OUT TO THE TRASH. And I want it done in 5 minutes or less. If Jeff happens to say "Sure, I'll change the diaper genie", that's the scenario I want to see.

Now when JEFF says "Sure, I'll change the diaper genie" what he MEANS is EVENTUALLY. Eventually can mean anywhere from that every moment (rarely) to 48 hours from now. And it annoys him to no end when after I ask this question I give him about 3o minutes to actually CHANGE the diaper genie (30 minutes of which I am doing everything but hanging over his shoulder and staring at him as I wait for the spring loaded action to take place) before I do it myself. With lots of grumbling and bitching under my breath.

In HIS mind he's thinking "I TOLD her I would do that, why in the WORLD is SHE doing it"? And in MY mind I'm thinking "He's NOT CHANGING THE DIAPER GENIE - GAH"!!!

So my point is I'm trying to learn that just because Jeff and I have different time frames for getting something done, doesn't mean that I need to make him comply with MY time frame. I need to back off and let him do it. Unless of course I snap hard and wind up doing myself, which I somehow suspect he is completely and totally okay with!

Attempt to talk my sister out of buying a "Playsuit"

2010-03-12T09:27:00.004-05:00

My sister is going to buy a "playsuit". Apparently that's the european term for the previously discussed "romper". We need to save my sister. My sister is a beautiful, intelligent, funny and wonderful person. And she's got legs for miles. And I am insanely jealous and refuse to post pictures of us standing next to each other because my fragile ego can't take it. But I digress.

Karen, lives in London right now. In London, "rompers" are everywhere. They are designed by Kate Moss. They look like this:

and this:

You can see more at: www.topshop.com and look under, I kid you not, "playsuits".

Now normally I would agree that my sister has the figure to make a lot of things work that normally shouldn't. But I still insist this is a ROMPER. I don't care WHO designs this but I am pretty sure I wore something very similar when I was six. Am I an old fuddy duddy or am I right???

Change in Magazines I Read

2010-03-10T22:15:00.002-05:00

Before I start this topic I want to say one thing:
Dad, if you are reading - you are to stop now. Understand? This post will be a topic that will NOT please you and might possibly send you to the Emergency Room clutching your chest. Okay?? I'll write about another topic later in the week.

Now that my father is gone, I'm going to talk about the change in my reading material. I USED to read Cosmo, Glamour, Allure.... all the standard beauty magazines.. and I started reading Cosmo when I was like 14 years old. I stopped reading Cosmo when I was like 25 after figuring out I had ready every article ever written by them and that they recycled stories month after month. I still get Glamour magazine (I think I renewed it for the next 10 years for some odd reason), but I also now get Parenting magazing, Baby Magazine and a whole bunch of other more family oriented magazines like Good Housekeeping. Which by the way.. I NEVER used to read Good Housekeeping but I find it interesting now so I have no idea when that change happened, but it did.

Today. I got my new issues of Glamour in the mail. Now lately I just flip through it, skim an article, look at pictures and then bring it in to the dental office I work at and leave it. This time my eyes ran across an article entitled "12 Things Guys Wish You Knew In Bed". Fairly standard article about sex, and I took a minute to skim over the suggestions. I won't list all twelve of them, but here are the two that kind of struck me the most:

5. It's not your job to deal with every erection he gets, but it would be nice if you were delighted by each one.

DELIGHTED??? I am to be DELIGHTED by erections?? I don't think Glamour means "delighted". I think "delighted" and I think of clapping my hands in glee, or jumping up and down in excitement, or calling up friends and telling them how DELIGHTED I am by something that happened that day. However, I do NOT think of an erection as something to be delighted by.... and I am certainly not DELIGHTED by each one. Mainly because I have OTHER THINGS IN MY LIFE TO KEEP TRACK OF, and stopping what I am doing throughout the day to clap my hands and squeal in delighted glee is not in the top 100 of things that I will likely be doing.

10. Tell him "I love the look on your face when you orgasm".

I am obviously an incredibly immature person because that sentence sent me into a frenzy of giggling. Giggling that cannot be stopped anytime soon, and I will probably giggle about it for the rest of the week at random points during the day when that particular sentence pops into my head for no reason at all. If I EVER told Jeff that he would think I had gone insane - that is if he could UNDERSTAND what I was saying as I would have to stop hee hawing and guffawing long enough to spit that sentence out. I think that would take the sincerity out of it, don't you?

I could go on and on but I think you all get the idea. Perhaps it's time to cancel my Glamour subscription.. I read all 12 to Jeff and he told me I needed to "stop reading such shitty magazines". I think I'll take that one to heart!

Most Ridiculous Fight Ever

2010-03-08T20:14:00.003-05:00

I was chatting with an old friend via Facebook and we were discussing how much work relationships are and blah, blah and I mentioned I had once had a fight about Tic Tacs.

I'll let that soak in for a minute for everyone.

Tic Tacs. You know, the 1 1/2 calorie refreshing mint.....

I had a FIGHT about tic tacs. In case you aren't fully able to grasp this, because let's face it - it's RIDICULOUS, I'll break it down for you.

First of all, this was not Jeff, this was a previous boyfriend and we had a, well.... a DRAMA-FILLED relationship to put it nicely. I'll call him.. ohhh.... Boyfriend G. Anyway, Boyfriend G and I were on a plane and we were going somewhere... Florida, Texas.. I don't even remember anymore just WHERE we were going, and it doesn't matter. We were on the plane and Boyfriend G was sitting at the window seat, I was next to him, and to my right was some random girl. We were all pretty much minding our own business and I was probably doing something mindless like flipping through a Cosmo magazine when I decided I needed a little something. I reached into my purse and shook some tic tacs into the palm of my hand (white tic tacs in case you need a visual). I tapped Boyfriend G on the shoulder and asked if he wanted one. He did, and accepted the mint. On a whim, I turned to the stranger on my right and asked if she would like a tic tac. I held out my open hand. She accepted and took a tic tac. I then ate the rest of the tic tacs and was just getting ready to put them back in my bag when...

Boyfriend G: You don't offer people tic tacs like that.

Me: What?

Boyfriend G: It's rude to offer people a tic tac that's in your hand. You should shake it from the container into THEIR hand.

Me: Are you fucking kidding me? Are we talking about a tic tac?

Boyfriend G: It's just rude. You should be more polite (or SOMETHING ALONG THOSE LINES because people I was not thinking clearly at the point my whole brain was screaming WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, and here's where the fight starts).

Boyfriend G and I bicker back and forth for a few minutes (and looking back I'm sure that poor girl was thinking we were both candidates for a mental hospital and wishing she DECLINED the mint), and I finally end the conversation with..

Me: If she didn't WANT the tic tac, she could have said no. If the palm of my hand was so disgustingly offensive she did not have to take it, it's not like I FORCED her to accept the candy.

Score: Me

Sadly that was not the last stupid fight we would have, but it stands out as THE most ridiculous one. I mean a TIC TAC! The proper way to dispense a mint to a stranger. Who knew there was a wrong way or a right way?? And it kind of goes to show that sometimes in relationships it's not the BIG issues that matter, it's all those little, stupid, inane, nobody else cares about issues that make you want to go completely ape shit crazy.

So what's the most ridiculous fight YOU'VE ever had??? Feel like sharing??

Need for Glasses

2010-03-07T12:34:00.005-05:00

Surely my eyes are deceiving me. SURELY Old Navy is not marketing something called a "ROMPER". It must be misplaced. They MEANT to post this little gem under the "girls" category - NOT the WOMEN category. I mean.. a ROMPER??? Doesn't the word ROMPER inspire thoughts of things like "Romper Room"??? To play? To frolic? Pigtails and jelly sandals?? I mean.. a ROMPER?? Let me just show you the outfit and leave it up to you to decide if I am indeed so sleep deprived that I can no longer be trusted to see something RIGHT BEFORE MY VERY EYES...

Sweet Jesus it even LOOKS like a romper. And not much unlike an outfit I wore when I was oh, SIX YEARS OLD!!! I KNOW I am just delirious.. I KNOW this is an object of my own fevered imagination. I'm going to pretend I didn't see this and perhaps go to take a nap. Or drink a large glass of wine.